tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86634655903276153482024-03-05T23:44:49.875-08:00HOUSE OF MASTER VYLEMaster Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.comBlogger137125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-78889183508143347492017-06-07T14:08:00.002-07:002017-06-07T14:08:41.470-07:00The Journey Continued... or the Horrors of Editing Part 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Greetings Fright Fans, Fiends, Freaks, Perverts and Sickos and welcome back once again to the House of Master Vyle blog. As I suppose many of you have guessed already over the past few months I have been releasing the second edition of my first novel, </span><i><b><span style="color: lime;">Heather's Journey Volume One: The Sound of her MASTER'S VOICE</span></b></i><span style="color: orange;">. My initial intention had been to release the novel in paperback, however the overall length made it impossible to publish the book in a single print edition without the text being so small that the only way it could be read was with a magnifying glass. Of course you may remember that I had hoped to deliver that print edition in 2014...</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><span style="background-color: black;">...And that's where the horrors of editing rear their head once again.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><span style="background-color: black;">Sometimes when you have a book, despite loving it like a child, it's just so hard to re-read it again, and again. Once I had the novel broken into two parts and had the proofs on my desk the one thing I dreaded was reading them over for a final, fine tuning, edit. I resorted to reading and taking notes during my lunch breaks at work, and that was when I felt like it. The issues the book had were pretty minor (probably due to the other 30 odd times I had read it from start to finish), yet it took me nearly a year to get through from beginning to end. And even once that was done I sat my notes aside and did not launch myself immediately into the task of making the edits. I was pretty burned out, and I had mentally begun to wrestle with myself as to whether I wanted to release the book in a two part edition, or if I wanted to break the novel into the four individual books within it. Since it had begun availability as chapter by chapter installments online I really did not want to break it up at all. This was one story, one novel (a really long novel, but still one novel). Enter procrastination.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><span style="background-color: black;">Now, of course, procrastination was not my only problem. My youngest son, Quentin, was in his final years of high school, his junior year an experiment with virtual schooling that was a headache and a nightmare, so I had to deal with that. I was also producing and editing episodes of my LiveStream shows, as well as helping to run and moderate chat nights on The Peninsula of Horror. In July of 2015 I suffered a two week bout of migraines. My Dad passed away in August, and immediately after that I found myself purchasing a new house. So my writing had a reason to be on hold for a while as we packed up a decade's worth of stuff and left our stuffy 1,500 square foot house for one nearly double the size.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Once we were settled in the only writing work I did was on scripts for </span><b style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: lime;">House of Master Vyle Presents</span></b><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">. There was an adjustment period once we moved in. Disharmony caused by my family. It was Quentin's senior year, so I had to pick him up every day so that he could finish high school in the one he started with (you know that one with the waiting room to the faculty offices bigger than Darth Sidious's office). And of course as graduation neared he informed us that he wanted to move out of state. So for first 14 months in our new home I did no writing outside of my hosted horror show scripts.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Finally, after my the lady vyle and I had a chance to settle into our larger and now empty nest, I picked up my notes and began the last edit on </span><i><span style="color: lime;"><b>The Sound of her MASTER'S VOICE</b></span></i><span style="color: orange;">. It only took two weeks to finish what I had put off for the better part of two years. The edits done I made the decision to go forward with the somewhat serialized, four part, version of the novel. It only took me a couple of days to do the final edits, and then a couple of weeks to get each of the four parts formatted for their print editions. I also updated the initial two part release I had planned for the book, and will probably offer them at a later date, as well as with the updated eBook edition, which will have a broader release than just Amazon.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">One of the problems I feel that I had when I began offering my stories as eBooks was that I was too excited by the prospect of having them available to a wider audience and jumped right into having them published, instead of doing all the fine tuning, because once I read the Kindle version of the first edition of </span><i><b><span style="color: lime;">The Sound of her MASTER'S VOICE</span></b></i><span style="color: orange;"> it was pretty apparent that it was full of mistakes. Other people have told me there was nothing wrong with it, but there were problems and despite the fact they were so spread out that most people were not picking up on them I knew they were there and was appalled. So despite having the proofs in hand in the early part of 2017 I decided that I would release them one at a time, one book on the first of each month, beginning in April.<br /><br />The Horrors of Editing? Yes, that wait was torture, but in the end I think it was worth it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Okay, so I know what you're thinking. The first book came out in April, yet the first blog post about it is coming one week into June. I had plans. Huge plans to go all out in promoting the release and working to update, revamp and post about the impending release. However, at about the time I was getting ready to do that I suffered another bout of migraines, smaller ones in March and a never ending one as April began that sidelined my from work for over a month's worth of time. So my promotion was limited to posting an event for the release on das Booken and updating it with book tidbits and site releases as they occurred, and when I felt up to it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">So, yes, again, we're over halfway through the releases for </span><b><i><span style="color: lime;">The Sound of her MASTER'S VOICE</span></i></b><span style="color: orange;"> and I'm just now getting to writing a post about it. As you can see I shall also be releasing a second edition of </span><b><i><span style="color: lime;">A Day in the Life of Abagail King</span></i></b><span style="color: orange;">, which I decided to edit at the first of the year so it could have its first print edition as well. I really do intend to keep this blog up to date and a lot less neglected as it has been as long as my time and my health are willing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">As far as what the future will bring in relation to my writing, I am trying to be on a wait and see basis. I have had so many ideas for stories and plans to have them done in a certain time in the past which I jumped the gun and set release dates to, all of which to date are still incomplete. So, from now on, I'm not planning or predicting the release of anything. When the story is ready to go, I will release concrete information as to when you will find my next novel or collection.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Until then, I'm back (here) and I plan to be as vyle as ever.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">See You After Vyle, </span></span></div>
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Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-1953341825010219512017-06-03T21:14:00.000-07:002017-06-07T14:09:30.327-07:00He's Coming Back! Lock-Up the Livestock!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Greetings Fright Fans, Fiends, Freaks, Perverts and Sickos and welcome once again to the House of Master Vyle blog. It looks like at long last I'm back. Again!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: orange;">Yes, I know my last return to the HOLLOWed halls of this blog was a brief one, however I am planning to keep on keeping on (whatever that means) to keep you GHOST-ed on the latest things happening with good old Master Vyle. (Please pay no attention to the fact that I'm about four months late in doing this. Five if you saw my </span><span style="color: yellow;"><i>Year of the Cock House of Master Vyle</i></span><span style="color: orange;"> MiniSode).</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><span style="background-color: black;">Anyway, I shall soon get back to posting updates and catching everyBODY up on my writing life. Those standard rants and raves (when I have the energy, since I'm getting old and supposedly mellow). Hopefully a review here and there, and of CORPSE occasional updates on the fact that I'm still on Das Booken after all these years. (I guess I may need to dust this oldie but goodie off.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><span style="background-color: black;">So in other words, bidness as usual. Hhehehehehehe. So roll out the barrel and lock-up the livestock, since there's no telling what might happen.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><span style="background-color: black;">See You After Vyle, </span></span></div>
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Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-27277302081178438882014-01-15T07:18:00.001-08:002017-06-02T11:54:45.475-07:00On The Back of a Motorcycle by Autumn Seave<div align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;"><img alt="Review - On The Back Of A Motorcycle.jpg" height="350" 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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Greetings Fright Fans, Fiends, Freaks, Perverts and Sickos, and
welcome to the, oh so, horrifying </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">House of Master Vyle Blog</span></b><span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This next review is a little something from
erotica territory, </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">On the Back of a
Motorcycle</span></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">, by Autumn Seave.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">This short short story is the tale of Tim, a guy out for a night
of bar hopping and strip clubs to unwind from a long week at work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While at a local bar he discovers that one of
his fellow patrons is Darcy, his former high school sweetheart, and a girl who
never would go too far with while they were dating.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">After catching up with Darcy for a little while Tim heads to a
local strip club, where he becomes enthralled with “Eve”, a tattooed dancer on
the stage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much to his shock and delight
as soon as Eve’s number she runs to the back of the club and begins loving on
none other than his aforementioned high school sweetheart.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">When the ladies leave the club on Darcy’s motorcycle Tim
secretly follows them to a secluded spot, where he sneaks up on them and
watches his two fantasy women get it on!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Although it’s not the greatest story </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">On the
Back of a Motorcycle</span></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;"> is enough to reveal
that Ms. Seave is a budding talent with a lot of potential to grow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She does a fair job at handling the male
point of view and delivering a tale that will titillate the average male smut
reader.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me this story made me
nostalgic for those old “Letters Magazines”, which this story reads like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was reminded so much so in fact that it was
easy to overlook some of the more contrived, “male thinking”, parts of the
story, such as a pair of lesbian bikers carrying around a ten inch dildo on
their motorcycle.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">I’m not sure if a broader audience will like this story as much
as I did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, if you are like me
and loved wasting a day reading those old adult digest like </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Naughty Letters</span></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">, </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Penthouse Forum Letters</span></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">,
and the like you will be gripped by nostalgia, and the sudden need to run down
to the Naughty Shop to buy some.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I give
this story Four Stars, and I can’t wait to see how Ms. Seave will develop in
the future.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">See You After Vyle,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><img alt="A MV 1.JPG" height="200" 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" 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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;">MASTER VYLE</span></div>
Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-37530811529024414062014-01-15T06:10:00.000-08:002017-06-02T11:55:10.747-07:00Review: The Glass Coffin: A Zombie Tale by Mark C. Scioneaux<br />
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<span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;"><img alt="Review - Glass Coffin.jpg" height="351" 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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Greetings Fright Fans, Fiends, Freaks, Perverts and Sickos, and
welcome to the, oh so, horrifying </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">House of Master Vyle Blog</span></b><span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yes that introduction is a little
different, and that is because I happen to be a lot of bit different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus I figured it was about time to make the,
um, BOG post introductions a little more in step with my </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">House of Master Vyle Presents</span></i></b><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">intro.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, if you have never watched my hosted
horror show, let me just say that I’m not surprised in the least.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hhehehehehe.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Anyway, it’s review time, and the story in question is </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">The Glass Coffin: A Zombie Tale</span></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;"> by Mark Christopher Scioneaux.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now, of course, over the past decade or so, zombie fiction has been all
the rage in the horror world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a genre
it has only been around since the end of the 1960’s, unlike many other
subgenres in horror which have their initial basis in medieval, if not ancient,
mythology and folklore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That said,
zombie fiction, is still pretty much in its infancy, and there are only a handful
of authors with the skill and imagination to add anything new.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course it’s not always necessary to add
anything innovative or new to the Romero Zombie Mythos, however a compelling
and character driven story are a necessary element to make one stand out and really
grip the reader.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Unfortunately </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">The Glass Coffin</span></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;"> lacks those things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
starts off seemingly strong, but quickly falls apart, introducing characters
who are quickly killed off, so quickly in fact that one wonders why Scioneaux
even bothered to describe them or add anything about their personal lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, despite its strong start, you don’t
have to be an expert in zombie fiction to know exactly what is going to happen.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Tyler, the more of less focal character of this story, because
most of this story is unfocused, is so unlikable that you’re hoping he will die
a horrible death from the moment he is introduced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During a powerful storm this guy has nothing
better to do than to leave his wife at home to tend to their deathly sick
daughter while he bangs his girlfriend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now, his wife Sharon and daughter Morgan are the only characters in this
whole story that you might feel any sympathy for, however they die so quickly
that whatever sympathy I did feel for them felt pretty wasted.</span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Anyway, our erstwhile hero, and trust me when I say hero I mean
that thinking that this guy is a hero is like thinking of your local meth
dealer as a hero, blows his wad and returns home, making it into the glass
elevator of his apartment building just in time for the power to go out.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Glass elevator?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah,
yeah, yeah…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the titular “Glass
Coffin”, which I am sure Mr. Scioneaux thought was a cool and innovative idea,
and I guess it would have been if this story were written by someone with
actual writing talent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Danvers Asylum</span></u></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;"> this
story smacks of high school writing assignment, and, to be fair, ninth graders
were probably the author’s target audience.</span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">So, again, yeah, if you figured out what the “Glass Coffin” was
from the title alone, you pretty much know where this story is headed from the
opening word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will not bother telling
you how the whole glass coffin bit is played out. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think you know it only has one of two
possible outcomes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wouldn’t want to
spoil it for you or anything.</span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">Hhehehehehehe.</span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">All the other characters in this story are pretty much nothing
but zombie fodder, although there are a couple I think who may have been thrown
in to show that Mr. Scioneaux knows a couple of words in Spanish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yes, he does decide to make the story multicultural, which is also a
failure on his part, because it’s painfully obvious he doesn’t know anything
about Latinos or Hispanics…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, other
than the fact that they speak Spanish.</span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">I give </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: yellow; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">The Glass Coffin: A
Zombie Tale</span></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;"> One Star, mainly due to
the fact that I was able to read it in less than ten minutes, and therefore was
not subjected to the endless tedium this would have been if it were a novella
instead of a short story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My opinion is
clearly not universal having seen other reviews on Amazon, but you know me, I
tend to be a little more discerning, and I like my reading on my level.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">See You After Vyle,</span></div>
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</div>
<div align="center" style="background: black; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-background-themecolor: text1; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #ffc000; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;">MASTER VYLE</span></div>
Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-81632532159923653632014-01-05T12:38:00.001-08:002014-01-05T12:38:38.273-08:00Review: Bound Hooker by Willa Huffner
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffc000;">Greetings Fright Fans, Fiends, Freaks,
Perverts and Sickos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah, it’s been a
little VYLE, however, as promised in my last post, it’s about time for a
review.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Up first in 2014, and after a
good year and a half lacking reviews, a 1982 piece of sleaze titled </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><span style="color: yellow;">Bound Hooker</span></u></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000;">
by Willa Huffner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, fiends two of my
favorite subjects in one book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However
if you’re hoping to be educated, to glean a little knicky-knicky knowledge, on
either subject, this ain’t the book for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In fact this book could almost act as a template for </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><span style="color: yellow;">Fifty Shades of Grey</span></u></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000;">, because just like Erica Leonard, Ms. Huffner has no
clue or experience with bondage or domination, other than second hand
information from no doubt unreliable sources.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><span style="color: yellow;">Bound Hooker</span></u></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000;"> is the story of Jane, our titular hooker, who, after a
snooze worthy gang bang, is whisked off to a room by one of the observers to be
offered a contract to act as the personal submissive for a group of ten men for
the next six months (or some shit like that), for which she will be paid
handsomely providing she does not quit before the end of the contract
period.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From there she is whisked off
again to the apartment she will live in for the duration of her service, where
she is confronted by her cruel handler and videotaped as she is bound in a
humiliating position with a huge dildo shoved into one of her orifices (which seems
to be the main recurring theme in this novel).<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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</span><span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">Ohhh, so exciting!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">Jane attends a party, after being in the
service of these mysterious ten rich guys for all of maybe two days, and having
only blown one of them is lent out to a lesbian Mistress for an unspecified
amount of time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Believe me, this book
is loaded with a gaggle of unspecified shit.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You see, Jane, who over and over again in this first person narrative
makes it plain that she is certified 100% straight, within five seconds of
meeting (or more like seeing her bound and humiliated at said party) supermodel,
Alexis, falls head over heels in love with her.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">Can I get a, WHAT THE FUCK, brothas and
sistas?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">Oh, yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Beat that time, Anastasia Steele!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">Yes, our confirmed, don’t like girls, but
loves to drink up sperm and be fucked in every hole by gangs of men heroine
spends somewhere in neighborhood of 85% of this novel eatin’ pussy and lovin’
it like McDonald’s.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">After spending a couple of days with her
lady love, filled with corrupting a young sales girl, and separate bondage gang
bangs and various pussy lickin’ gang bangs, Jane is returned to her handler and
has a couple of idiotic scenes which do not pan out, and then is whisked away, again,
to somewhere in Europe for a bondage-gang bang retreat (or some shit like
that), with a little piss play and hints of incest thrown in for good measure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Or as with everything else in this book,
just thrown in for no good reason.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">Then it’s back home, for her fourth day at
her apartment, which is apparently also the end of her six months of service.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">WAAA?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">She’s taken to the office of one of the
mysterious richie richies, where she is used and abused and offered another six
month contract, and from there the book goes on to end on a…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gee, I don’t know, a moronic note?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Believe me, I’ve seen art films that had more
cohesion.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">Okay, I know what you’re probably thinking,
with all this whisking around, and pussy lickin’ gang bangs, and regular gang
bangs, and the rest of the kitchen sink, this novel must be exciting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, ho, ho, ho-<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>NO!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This story was such a collection of tedious drudgery that it took me
nearly two and a half weeks to get through it, when it probably should have
only taken a day and a half.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">Huffner’s style, and occasionally
spelling, leave a lot to be desired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Plus, along with BDSM and prostitution, body piercing is another subject
that the author knows absolutely nothing about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>True this was first published in 1982, long before getting your tatas
and cha-cha pierced were all the rage, but it is only the fact that they’re
mentioned in the story at all that makes anything in it seem ahead of its time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">Also a point of interest, perhaps a little
unusual for an 80’s porn book, is the fact that it includes several, let’s say,
unique illustrations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re kind of
okay, if you like stylized, cartoony, characters getting it on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, they really add nothing to the
overall, what little there is to it, story, as they pretty much have nothing to
do with the scenes they’re meant to correspond to, when they have anything to
do with the novel at all.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffc000;">I give </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><span style="color: yellow;">Bound
Hooker</span></u></i></b><span style="color: #ffc000;"> 1 and ½ Stars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems to be the only thing ever written by
Willa Huffner, and for that I thank her for not quitting her day job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you feel the need to trudge through this
story (which if it had been written today by a standard indie hack would
deservingly be billed as the “next” Fifty Shades) it can be found on several
retro book sites, as well as at Barnes & Noble for NOOK.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="background-color: black;">See You After Vyle</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ffc000;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Calibri;"></span></span> </div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5g_Nek-r1EWqTGKlBKnAcbAWR2z_mngfb3L4JF-LobxOm2rzkGLYZ7MtJcK0xNm-keghN4NEsb9CCFFHT5tiDWNl3ygBmaCQWdTiZyRKLYYagEtu5LctJ5zOFjkdWBagOUMH9aSvtuphH/s1600/A+MV+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5g_Nek-r1EWqTGKlBKnAcbAWR2z_mngfb3L4JF-LobxOm2rzkGLYZ7MtJcK0xNm-keghN4NEsb9CCFFHT5tiDWNl3ygBmaCQWdTiZyRKLYYagEtu5LctJ5zOFjkdWBagOUMH9aSvtuphH/s200/A+MV+1.JPG" width="132" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: #ffc000;"></span> </div>
Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-75815220964960549322014-01-02T14:57:00.000-08:002014-01-02T14:57:08.018-08:00BEWARE, I'M BACK!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_4fMiV8EZkpx2segIO7bzMqfalSnrz0APGYkjQXfJ4BstN_wwjDWzquI7Kq3EOrlay5xQApcXZCqQVbBShx4vO3WPLrFRe5D-mmzgJ0NCWz-zT8f-Rzf4omqqVrIdU6qrWQj1w9WDASoU/s1600/SAM_0368.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_4fMiV8EZkpx2segIO7bzMqfalSnrz0APGYkjQXfJ4BstN_wwjDWzquI7Kq3EOrlay5xQApcXZCqQVbBShx4vO3WPLrFRe5D-mmzgJ0NCWz-zT8f-Rzf4omqqVrIdU6qrWQj1w9WDASoU/s640/SAM_0368.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Greetings Fright Fans, Fiends, Freaks, Perverts and Sickos. 2014 is here and guess what? I'M BACK! That's right, the straight shooter, fruit booter, Mayor of Public Domain, totally insane, first ever "liberated author", the one and (many hope) only, Master Vyle is back. Did any of you mother fuckers miss me? Yeah, probably not, but I'm back anyway, and it looks like not a minute too soon. Rejoice! Rejoice! ALLAH-AELUHIA, BITCHES!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Okay, so for those who might wonder where I have been. Well, to start things off from fall of 2011 until the summer of 2012 I was suffering from near daily migraines. I didn't have the desire to do much other than be in a dark room and sleep, and when I was medicated I was just plain crazy, and if you read any of my rants here or on das Booken from that time, then you know what I mean. Needless to say my creativity was pretty well zapped. Then of course, when I could write there was something equally as bleak hanging over me, which made me put my writing on hold. I'm not going to discuss that, because once this thing was out of the way I did post about it on das Booken, and nary a writer type said a damn thing, sooooooo, yeah. If ever you get yourself in a financial bind, hope your stuff isn't selling worth a shit. Yep, and as cryptic and unexplanitory as that is, as Forest Gump would say, "That's all I've got to say about that."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">So, what about the past year? Well, 2013 was a lot about me getting my shit together mentally. I pretty much let everything cool, including this blog, and took a break that was not being forced on me by illness and creditors. There were only a handful of writers, people I actually consider writers and authors, who I kept in touch with, and I turned off all notifications from the various groups I have been a part of. I turned my writing talents to script writing for door prize segments I was doing as part of <em><strong><span style="color: yellow;">Doctor Xombie's Friday Night Fright</span></strong></em> as well as for my own hosted horror show <strong><em><span style="color: yellow;">House of Master Vyle Presents</span></em></strong>. Yes, I've been doing a lot of stuff for stage and screen as they say, having a chance to branch out into the world of horror hosting. It's a kinder and gentler world than the "writing scene", however writing fiction has always been my first calling, and the time has come to get back to it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Of course I owe a great debt to my good fiend, Roger Boyes. I got to know Roger through the darkest months that I had migraines, and it was through him that I got my Saturday writing influence back, his pages dedicated to Doctor Paul Bearer, Dick Bennick and other horror related items leading me into horror hosting. It was also a pleasure to contribute an interview to his book about Doctor Paul Bearer and I had a chance to GHOST host the two book signings for that book <u><em><strong><span style="color: yellow;">Dr. Paul Bearer's Creature Feature</span></strong></em></u>.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJK7To9laQU6zkxxfibWqleasg6HsPn8Nqf60ZWIhXWMB2b7p2hVaAUEPlP2R-N5yhO9vd0s1ga8V8N4K1UjXxC7VmGEtw5JwTMuZohgivTwMaYXtbf2FoPpjrJjrtTuN_-j9k47kde6QA/s1600/DC+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJK7To9laQU6zkxxfibWqleasg6HsPn8Nqf60ZWIhXWMB2b7p2hVaAUEPlP2R-N5yhO9vd0s1ga8V8N4K1UjXxC7VmGEtw5JwTMuZohgivTwMaYXtbf2FoPpjrJjrtTuN_-j9k47kde6QA/s400/DC+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Roger Boyes (seated) and Master Vyle at BearerFEAST 2.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Photo courtesy of <span style="color: lime;">Dash Cunning Entertainment</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">It was through Roger that I had the opportunity to meet and work with Paul Bathrick, who recently has spurred my desire to get back to writing into high gear. At the moment he is working on a brilliant novel, and his enthusiasm for the story is extremely contagious, and he reminds me a lot of myself when I'm in "The Zone". My only regret is not having a chance to talk to him about the book and writing on a more regular basis.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Okay, so I know the first question is when are we going to see a new story from you? The answer to that is probably not for a while. I have several projects lined up, many in need of completion. I'm not going to hurry myself, or do that thing I hate to do to myself, set any kind of deadline, however by the end of the year there should at least be a small thing or two in print. I will also continue working on hosted horror projects, with several showings upcoming on <strong><span style="color: lime;">The Peninsula of Horror</span></strong> this year, as well as possibly another venue or two. I do have to complete the first season of <strong><em><span style="color: yellow;">House of Master Vyle Presents</span></em></strong> by the end of the year, and I feel I already have a good start on that. It may not be a huge writing year for me, however 2014 is going to be the year I get the ball rolling again.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, I know the next thing you're probably wondering: When, oh when, are we going to get to see some of those, oh so, awesome, Master Vyle reviews. Well, fiends, don't fret. There will be reviews coming down the pike very soon, of that I promise you. Am I going to get to those reviews that I promised, which are long over due, and probably slightly behind the times? Oh yeah, I guarantee it, or I'm not the guy who just listed this fantastic new quote: Every time I hear or see the term "inner goddess" it makes me want to puke... right up the inner goddess of the twit that said it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">YOU'RE WELCOME!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now of course, let me restate that I'm back and not a moment too soon. I hear tell that the latest purge of indie author penned erotica has just taken place. Oh, it's so sad. Who's crying that hardest and loudest, why the person hit the hardest every time there's a "purge", one Selena Kitt. The way she drones on you would think that Amazon specifically singles her out every time, but yet she still publishes through Amazon.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, again, it's a good thing I'm back, here to give you the wisdom granted my by my, oh so, top of the rung Polk County, Florida, edjumication. You see, whenever there's a "purge" I hear all this whining about First Amendment rights. BLAH, BLAH, FUCKIN' BLAH.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">So let me put it out there, I know it might be hard for some of you to understand, but Amazon and Barnes and Noble, and Kobo, and every other eBook publisher are not concerned with your First Amendment rights, and it's not their job to protect them, nor do any of them guarantee them. They're companies and corporations that have standards, albeit sometimes the standard is, "We can't define porn, but we know it when we see it." I can promise you that most of these stories, no matter how well they sell, are subjects that no traditional publisher would touch with a 50 foot pole. And you people have the nerve to whine and cry that the eBook publishers are violating the First Amendment if they choose not to publish them through their venue? Oh, that's terrible, especially when a lot of you knowingly submit content that you know they are going to eventually you for.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">OH, LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! That nasty old eBook publisher is violating my First Amendment rights because I keep uploading content that they do not want to sell!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yeah, boo-hoo, I'm really crying for you.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">And of course, just in time for the end of the year, there was a new purge directed at the second latest thing, Bigfoot Erotica. Yes, I say second latest thing because the latest thing is Dinosaur Erotica.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, I'm totally fucking serious, you can't make stuff this fucking retarded up.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, it seems Amazon is "supposedly" cracking down on "Crypto" Erotica. I suppose unlike IL-literotica that they finally figured out that unicorns and Pegasuses were stand-ins for actual horses. Now I say supposedly because doing all the things that you supposedly couldn't do as far as searches went I did actually luck out and found the legendary Bigfoot porn hiding in "the Amazon". And I acquired said Bigfoot porn, for the special low price of absolutely FREE, from Amazon. Yeah, book banned from Amazon, being sold, by Amazon, as part of a huge holiday sale, from Amazon. I do not like hairy bears, however I'm dying to read this because it is no doubt totally fucking hilarious.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I am also waiting with baited breath to read me some Dinosaur Porn. I just get visions in my head of the Jurassic Style dildo collection that came out in the wake of the first <em><strong><span style="color: yellow;">Jurassic Park</span></strong></em> film. And, just because I happen to know just a little about reptile and avian anatomy, I expect the Dinos in these pornos to be wearing strap-on versions.</span><br />
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<strong><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">House of Master Vyle 2014 MiniSode 1: The Year of the Horse</span></strong></div>
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<span id="goog_1383891948"></span><span id="goog_1383891949"></span> <span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, Fiends and Fright Fans, that's about it for now. Yes, I know, it was just a little taste, but you can expect some more bad old goodness to be coming to you in the very near future.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">See You After Vyle!</span></div>
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Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-39204210106901224742012-09-17T09:10:00.000-07:002012-09-17T09:10:45.775-07:00I'll Accept "Retardeder" As A Word Because I'm From Florida, or Her Teeth Were The Same Color As Her Shirt (At Least The Yellow Part Of It)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje60zEiJyqckXIkaSgwMnTYVnSsSn2kMPU1BUxqvmZ-gH5S4nJWFa3bgutNadPadzKyShMFj7lpxXI9FNL_1t9trSe_xyObXtoXyhhkLEOkDb0h6SSZr1FPz6bxLsUsOP_2ZLZcrsHJXcR/s1600/SAM_0901.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje60zEiJyqckXIkaSgwMnTYVnSsSn2kMPU1BUxqvmZ-gH5S4nJWFa3bgutNadPadzKyShMFj7lpxXI9FNL_1t9trSe_xyObXtoXyhhkLEOkDb0h6SSZr1FPz6bxLsUsOP_2ZLZcrsHJXcR/s640/SAM_0901.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">U R famous LOL...</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, it's almost a funny kind of cosmic irony that when I went into my e-mail this afternoon before I sat down to begin this post that I found that written to me in a direct message from someone on Twitter. It was accompanied by a link which went to FaceBook to some blank app page or another. I sat and looked at it for a minute, then closed it out. I tried the link a couple of more times with the same result. I found myself wondering if it was just that, just another of those useless, glitched re-directs, or if maybe there was something more to it.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, of course in the cosmic scheme of things, the reason I found this vague statement ironic was that I had seen it before, actually more than once, attached to snide comments directed to me on Literotica. It was not my intention to begin this post by mentioning Literotica, and I will get more into that subject later on, but that vague comment, since I have no clue what it was about, surely smacked of it. I'm not sure if it was meant in reference to a "tweet", or something I had posted on das Booken, or even if it was referring to the video intro to this post, the first ever <em><strong>House Of Master Vyle MiniSode, Preview Of Coming Distractions</strong></em>.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">U R famous LOL...</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Hhehehehehehehehehe.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">To anyone who has ever said that to me in the past, I guess the joke is on you. If you know me, or if you have been reading this blog, then you know that fame and fortune are not the overriding and main motivating goals in my life. Surely I would like to be successful enough at what I do to someday be able to do it exclusively. I would also one day love to be well known. Who wouldn't? But famous, over anything I have done thus far? Or to even have the delusion that I am in my own mind?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">BITCH PLEASE!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Fame isn't something for me to decide. That will forever be in the hands of my readers to decide. Fame is a someday far off, if ever, thing. It's nothing I long for, or crave, or even dream about all the time. I'm the one noted for one thing, no matter what I or anyone else might say about me, and that is this: I do things differently, and I do them under my own terms. It might not get me anywhere far fast. It might not get me anywhere at all. However, this is the way I am going to do what it is I do. I am taking the slow road, and if it's the Slow Road To Nowhere, then so be it. The main thing for me is that I matter to the people who matter the most to me. That is the thing I have wanted the most in life, and at times in the depths of despair thought I would never be worthy of having. Fame and fortune is nothing compared to that. Famous people are forgotten all the time. Rich people lose everything all the time. What I have is forever. If I ever end up with those other side effects from anything I write or do I'll accept them and enjoy them for as long as they last, but they will never compare to the love of my wife and children.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">U R famous LOL...</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">If posting shitty and hastily written stories on some story submission site is a guarantee of fame, then I guess I'll never be famous. Oh, poor me, and BOO-fuckin'-HOO!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">And now that that little bit of seriousness is over with I will get to that thing, which though I am unsure if it was what was meant in this case, but it has been the case, that makes "U R famous LOL..." crop up in snide comments, that thing I am "famous", or rather infamous for: Pissin' people off!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Hhehehehehehehe.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The above pictures were taken on my last vacation day of the year. Just before the start of the school year, oh yes, that magical time when the kids go off to the institutes of higher learning, or those places down here they go to cram to pass the FCAT for the first part of the year and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the year. Myself, along with the lovely lady vyle, Quentin, and my in-laws, all went to Siesta Key for the day to enjoy the beach and the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico for the afternoon. And I have to say that an enjoyable and relaxing time was had by all, and it was additionally better than the trip the lady vyle and I had taken a few weeks earlier with Alex and Cali, and of course Tropical Storm Debby.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Of course you can see I was decked out in my beach going best: Pool shoes from Wal-Mart (a Florida staple). Peter Grimm, wannabe horror host style hat. Panama Jack shades. Black Hawaiian print swim trunks, with a tropical drink t-shirt, and an orange button up over-shirt. Beach parasol from the Umbrella Corporation's Raccoon City summer line. Does it make me look like I'm actually from Florida or more like a tourist? Hard to say, but most would agree that the outfit is 100% Michael C. Laney/Master Vyle either way.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, it was a pleasant day of fun for all, all the way around. That was, at least until I got home.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, of course you know how most stories like this end. Last day of vacation. You get home from the beach. You go back to work. That's where the pleasantness ends. Right?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, not quite.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">At the end of the afternoon everyone was quite baked, even Quentin, despite his heritage. So, since the house (of Master Vyle), was on the way, my in-laws dropped them there and I rode on with them to their house to help them unload their car and to pick up ours since we had went down together. I also needed to pick up some cat food, Friskies in particular, because we had given our feline family their last can that morning, and our house is a feed us or be eaten place after about five, dry food or no. So, from the in-laws' I drove further up the road to the local Sweetbay, because: One they sell Friskies cheaper than anyone else in the area and we have five (inside) cats, and Two I suggested grabbing a rotisserie chicken to save any of us the trouble of cooking anything. Yes, two steps, a simple plan.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Indeed, my plan did seem to go off without a hitch. I cruised on down, listening to a little Halcali on the way. I grabbed a chicken. I loaded up on 30 cans of Friskies (no two cans the same, because Socks obeys that old rule set forth by Gallagher, despite the fact he's never seen his show). Went right through the line, no waiting. Zoom, out to the car.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Then, it's as I'm loading my few purchases in the trunk, that I hear a car come up behind me. Nothing unusual about that. However, it does not immediately pull into the empty space beside me, and in the space of about a second I am thinking, <em>Well, that's weird</em>. And then, laughter. Snorting, obnoxious, side splitting laughter.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">When you're my age, and you've lived enough life, and especially if you have kids, you get that sense going on. So, I didn't have to really put any heavy thought into what the woman (it was plainly a woman laughing) in the car was laughing at. Now, mind you, I had lost my hat and shades to drive and shop. I had even lost my, oh, so pretty, umbrella. And I knew, that no matter where I was, at this point, dressed as I was, for any day of the year in Florida, I was dressed pretty much like anyone else. So, as I continued to place the last of my bags in the trunk I cut my eyes back to get a slight glance as this woman is doubled up over her steering wheel laughing at me, still stopped right behind me and making no attempt to hide the fact.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, you know, not even another second had a chance to tick by before the Florida sun wasn't the only thing making me hot.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">She finally pulled into the space on the passenger side of my car, still laughing her ass off, as I reached up and slammed my trunk. Ms. Giggler was driving a shiny, black BMW. My eyes went right to the plates, which were Florida plates that lacked any county marking and proclaimed "SUNSHINE STATE", which around 75% of the time means rental. She killed the engine and was still roaring with laughter, and as I walked around to the driver's side of my car it's pretty much safe to say that I was replaying in my head every sour incident that I had lived with for somewhere around 30 years of my life or so. Instead of getting right in I kind of ground my gums between my teeth, really looking Ms. Giggler in the BMW over.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now to say she was nothing special would be an understatement. She looked pretty much like the run of the mill, anybody you could pass on the street: slim-<em>ish</em>, curly blond hair, maybe mid-40's if that, white shirt with a beach scene airbrushed on it. She did have a horse mouth that was filled with a set of teeth that would be an orthodontist's dream. Her teeth were the same color as her shirt (at least the yellow part of it). Honestly, if not for the laughing that wouldn't stop I wouldn't remember a single thing about seeing her if she had just pulled up and parked like a "normal" person. In fact her passenger was much more memorable. He looked like Larry the Cable Guy on meth, and he was even dressed the part too. IN A FREAKIN' BMW!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I can't help myself, but to steal one of those "Blue Collar" Comedians' lines, "That's funny. I don't care who you are."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, I love to make people laugh, but I love to do it deliberately, and there are reasons. They say comedians do their best to make other people laugh and smile because they are miserable, or have lead horrible lives.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Hand raised. Right here!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">However there is a huge difference between getting someone to laugh and that mocking laughter meant to do nothing more than ridicule, the same kind I had heard for the longest time.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I know there are quite a few people who would be more than willing to point out that ridiculing people is my thing, and yeah, to an extent maybe it is, however at 40 I would never get right up on someone I didn't know or have some real problem with and start laughing at them for the way they were dressed, or they way they looked, or the color of their skin, or if they were in a wheelchair, or any number of asinine reasons that I am sure Ms. Giggler seemed to think it was okay to belly laugh at anyone, for no other reason than maybe to impress "Scary" the Cable Guy.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Again, when you've lived long enough, have the life experience, of course you know, as I did, it wasn't all just about the clothes. Ms. Giggler was laughing at me because she thought I was gay, which she was half-right about. When you've spent a majority of your life, everywhere you've ever been, being called a fag, and a homo and a gayford, and a queer since middle school there's something about the way they laugh at you, even when they don't say it, that just screams it into your soul. Remember that above I mentioned I was replaying ever sour moment from about the past 30 years of my life in my head as I stood there. There had only been one other time that I had ever really let loose, a couple of years ago, when after being inundated with continual e-mails and reminders to register and update my profile information on the Class Of 1990's website for the 20 year reunion that I finally exploded, filling out the requested information with a vyle style rant, and slamming my fellow classmates as I finally came out as being bisexual, in a huge and public way, and letting most of the people I had attended Auburndale High School with know that they had made me feel miserable because I was made to feel ashamed to be who I was before I could even understand what it meant to be bisexual, or even understand that there was a concept of such a thing as guys being bisexual.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Having grown up in the 70's and 80's I am sure that many of you reading this can probably appreciate that I had a very difficult time freely being who I was and understanding it. The time I grew up in was difficult enough. That was further compounded by the fact that I grew up in Polk County, Florida. It's still not a shining beacon of high civilization today, but especially through my elementary and middle school years the attitudes here were extremely rural and provincial. Tormented Barry Prince from my short story <em><strong>Frog Nog</strong></em> was truly me. To make matters worse I had lived through two extended incidents of sexual molestation where I was victimized by members of the same sex covering a period of nearly eight years, and those increased the sense of self-loathing I had at any attraction or curiosity I had toward members of the same sex to the point that I truly felt like I was the twisted pervert everyone called me for no reason. So I did what anyone in my situation would do. I buried and did the best I could to hide those feelings from everyone, even myself, played the muy macho tough guy who hated "fags", and did my best to date every girl who would show me the slightest bit of attention, in a town of women who didn't want to be within 50 feet of me.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Did I feel like the outcast almost all the time?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, yeah!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Back to Ms. Giggler though, as fate would have it another car pulled into to the space beside me on the driver's side, so I stepped a little closer to my door and acted as if I were finally going to get inside my own car. I had no doubt that she was going to get out then, as someone else being present is always the cue of the coward and bully to slink around as if they're innocent and pure as new born lamb. Numbers, even if they're not within their own little group, always give cowardly little bitches like her confidence. Again, I know because I have years of experience to back this up, actually dating all the way back to the third grade and Tyron Rove. I mention Tyron Rove by name for no other reason than I suspect he became such a success and a shining example of humanity. (Yeah, right.) But, anyway, the lady who pulled up on my driver's side worked her way out of her car, a cute and short black BBW who I like to imagine was there to pick up a few things, just as I had been. All safe because there was someone else around Ms. Giggler got the windows up, and then she and Scary the Cable Guy exited the Beamer.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, unfortunately Ms. Giggler didn't know she had been laughing at Master Vyle. She also didn't know that since he had "come out" that he had been dealing with one person who had been a pretty good friend to him, who now treated him as if he didn't exist, every single day. Thirty years of pent up aggression, loosing it once already, a pseudo-friend acting like you've got the plague, the Florida heat, and someone who should know better acting like they're a little kid from like 1984, it all adds up to something and that something is nothing good.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I let Ms. Giggler and Scary the Cable Guy get to the trunk of their rented BMW, and they both kind of giggled to each other as they looked to each other with the car still between them. The black lady was just closing her door. I glanced to her and she gave me a quick smile and said, "Hello." Then I looked back to the not-so-dynamic duo as they joined one another behind the rental, and that's when I let loose.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">"So, what's so funny there, Ms. Giggler? The fact that, I don't know, I'm dressed like everyone else <strong>in Florida</strong>, or is it that Doc Brown and Marty dropped you at the rental company and all they had was a Beamer and you still can't believe you incredible luck?"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, they both turned and looked at me. Total deers in the headlights. Because of course, you know, I was expected to never say anything back. Plus I'm guessing they were both, more than likely, heavily processing, my <em><strong>Back To The Future</strong></em> reference. Good thing I didn't go with <em><strong>Buckaroo Banzai</strong></em> or <em><strong>Doctor Who</strong></em>, because they would probably still be standing in the same spot today trying to think it out right now.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The lady who had parked on the other side of me stopped short of her trunk and said, "Uh-oh." We had never met, but it was apparent from my tone that she knew what was coming.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">"Oh, what? Nothing to say?" I questioned after they stood there for a second without offering a response of any kind. "Did you exhaust your vocal cords laughing, or is it just that you're too fuckin' stupid to offer a decent explanation of why you find me so funny? Is it my SEXY swim suit? Is it my GAY hair? Come on and tell me! Enquiring minds want to know!" I swept my hands back at the woman who had parked on the other side of me.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, I can tell you with a smile on my face that that action had the desired effect, because that cute shorty of a black lady just, "HA-HAed", even louder than Ms. Giggler had been laughing.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">"Do y'all think you're special or something?" I questioned, stepping back toward the rear of my car. Ms. Giggler and Scary the Cable Guy took a couple of steps away from their rental. "What? Do you think I haven't been hearing shit like this, like, fuckin' forever? They've been calling me a queer-bait and a faggot since third grade. And it's just rolled on from there, like I've got the fuckin' plague, everywhere I go and everything I do. And I'm BISEXUAL, BY the way, FREAKIN' pun INTENDED. If you know what a FREAKIN' pun is. So, again, you're nothing new, you're nothing SPECIAL, other than your gigglin' and fuckin' droolin'! And BI the way, Scary the Cable Guy, I've been told by many a man that I suck dick better than their wives do, so if you want to find out...," I paused, "but then again I don't really look forward to a case of syphilis of the mouth."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">That last bit was enough to make the lady behind me double over laughing in pretty much the way I imagine that Melody Dewberry does when I make comments on LiveStream when we're all watching something classic and horrible on <em><strong>The Bone Jangler Show</strong></em>. And then, just like magic, there's this voice from the other end of the shopping center yelling, "You go, sister!"</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, this was finally enough to spur the not-to-dynamic duo into action. Each swallowing hard they beat a path to the safe haven of the waiting grocery store. "Yeah, run along!" I called after them. "Because everyone knows that high classed, white trash, rednecks that rent BWMs shop at the fuckin' Sweetbay, because you're too fuckin' good to go to Wal-Mart!"</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">After she had a chance to recover from her own laughing fit the woman who had parked beside me walked up to me and paused before herself heading the rest of the way into the store. "Oh, Jesus, that was so funny," she said. "Don't ever let people like that get away with givin' you shit."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">"Oh, I won't."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Her eyes wide she nodded and chuckled again. "Yeah. Somehow I get that feelin' you don't." She snorted out another giggle, then told me to take care before heading into the store, and from the look of her she started laughing again as she made her way to the doors.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">As I have looked back it surprises me that his incident occurred in Lake County, which is semi-ritzy. Granted it happened in the extreme southern part of Lake County, but still when it comes to ignorance in this area I still expect it to be centered in my home county, good old Polk County, Florida.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, I still find Polk County to be a black hole of ignorance. The fact that I am again dealing with the Polk County School System has been a nice and warm reminder. Warm, like trails of chunky pant gravy running down the back of your legs. Yes, what other school system would offer free lunches to runaways. Really? Free lunches for runaways? Because I was always under the impression that when kids ran away from home they generally avoided places their parents might find them, like school.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Also shit my own pants laughable are the maximum charge limits for students who forget to bring a lunch or lunch money. In the memo the school board sent out it states that,<span style="color: lime;"><strong> "We have a strong commitment to feeding the students of Polk County..."</strong></span>, however the maximum charge limit for high school students who forget to bring their lunches or lunch money is (loooooooong drum roll) $0.00. Yes, that's right ZERO DOLLARS and ZERO CENTS. Because, yes, it is important for all students to eat a proper meal, but if you're a runaway who forgets to pack a lunch or does not bring any lunch money you're all good. Better still charge limits for other schools are token amounts like $7.00 and $5.00, and those (according to what is printed just below the charge schedule) can be lowered at the discretion of the principal of each individual school as they see fit. Wow, and again, it is VERY IMPORTANT to the Polk County School Board that ALL STUDENTS have a chance to eat a proper meal because they have that <span style="color: lime;"><strong>strong commitment</strong></span> to feeding the students of Polk County. Now, that said, when a student (and one assumes this means a student anywhere other than in high school) exceeds their charge limit, then they have the opportunity to have a <span style="color: lime;"><strong>"lower cost"</strong></span> alternative meal provided. These meals cost between $0.60, and $0.90. Mmmmm... yes, and if a student who has not brought money and maxes out their charge account should require the money to pay for this alternative meal, where exactly does that come from?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, yes. I 'll accept <strong><span style="color: yellow;">retardeder</span></strong> as a word because I'm from Florida. POLK COUNTY, FLORIDA. Yes, I did graduate in the top 25% of my graduating class. NO, it wasn't that hard, even in 1990! But, of course, we still just had the SATs back then, where the students were actually graded instead of the schools. Sad part, it's pretty apparent that students from the bottom 75% of graduating classes from across the country are now in charge of the Polk County School Board. Really not surprising either when you think about it. After all, I'm betting if you walked into any mall, anywhere in America, on any given day and yelled, "Who wants to be the King of the Idiots?" a majority of the people within earshot will raise their hands.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now here's another little tidbit on "alternative meals". If your student, again Kindergarten to Eighth Grade, has to eat an alternative breakfast, they're treated to a delicious, and oh, so nutritious meal of graham crackers and milk or orange juice. Mmmmmmm... Graham crackers, the breakfast of champions. It's as if the Polk County School Board wants to thumb their nose at these kids like the bullies of old and yell, "Nayh, nayh, nayh, nayh, nayh, you're family is so poor you can't even afford Pop Tarts!" Better still for just that $0.30 more <strong>they don't have</strong> they can get alternative lunch instead, where they will be treated to that delicacy or delicacies, A SANDWICH! (Yes, the answer to that age old question, What can $0.30 extra get you? More than graham crackers.) I can only, and with about 100% certainty, guess that the titular sandwich in question would be the dreaded bologna sandwich, which, by the way, is the exact same thing they serve for lunch at the Polk County Correctional Facility. WOOOHOOOOO, Polk County School Board, way to prepare the best and the brightest Florida has to offer for their eventual future! Two thumbs straight up! </span><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I suppose it's a good thing that a majority of this citizenry of Polk County are either dirt poor or runaways and can take advantage of free and reduced priced lunches in the first place. Right? I'm even more glad my student packs his own lunch.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;"><strong>Ahhh, the Polk County School Board! They haven't (personally) failed to let me down since 1976!</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, it's not that I'm not happy to be done with Osceola County and the, oh, so wonderful, Four Corners Charter School with its cast of idiots, parents dumb enough to give Ms. Giggler and Scary the Cable Guy a run for their money, and an administration staff with no background in education, however there are things about school this year that peeve me as a parent and taxpayer off. In particular the main office, which is about the size of that prison Rick and the gang were eying on the trailers for <em><strong>The Walking Dead</strong></em>. When you walk inside you enter this waiting area that, and I shit you not, is larger than any home I have ever lived in. In fact you can fit my mother's new monster of a house inside of it, and probably clear five feet over the roof. This area has a counter in the middle and a desk off to each side, a few chairs along the walls and other than that is filled with absolutely nothing. It's larger than freakin' Darth Sidious' office. And what makes this phenomenal waste of space even worse is that if you walk down the hallway directly behind it you find the same set up pretty much mirrored on the other side of the building. I think that if the issue of overcrowded schools ever comes up it should be mandatory for all parents and taxpayers to visit this office, just so they can see how the architect and the Polk County School Board raped them out of a huge chunk of change to build this waste of space. The class rooms themselves by the way are the same size as class rooms have been in every school since time immemorial, so... mmmmmm.... yeah, good job Polk County, you never fail to let me down. Honestly, kids, what I want most is to know how many boxes of graham crackers could have been bought for the price of this office that's large enough for a Jedi vs. Sith lightsaber battle, force lightning and all. Better yet, how many boxes of graham crackers would it take to fill the volume of this room? Probably enough to feed "alternative breakfast" to every student in Polk County, every school day, for the next ten years. AT LEAST.</span><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Also helping the school system shine in Polk County, not even three weeks into the school year and we have a teacher arrested for "sexting" with an underage student. Ah, the miracles of the 21st Century. Man, I remember when I was in school and underaged students actually banged their teachers. Yep, that was all fun and games, until someone got pregnant. Ooops. Too bad her hubby was in a vegetative state. But, hell it was the 90's. No arrest or criminals records back then. Just a little resignation in disgrace and that awkward divorce, followed by an even more awkward marriage to a dashing stud who, I'm pretty sure, graduated in the bottom 75% of the class. (Except for maybe one class. Hhehehehehehehe.) Yes, I'm pretty sure that marriage is still going strong today.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Anyway, not everything about Polk County, Florida is absolutely terrible. It does actually have it's good points. There is of course, me. Hhhehehehehehe. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.) Of course Dr. Paul Bearer, Dick Bennick, my hero, lived here a great many years, as well as George Jenkins, who believe it or not is another man I do greatly admire. Of course the very first Red Lobster was opened in Lakeland in 1968, and although I abstain from seafood they do make nice little steaks and chicken breasts. And despite the fact that, for the most part, my school years were a very difficult time, I did make lasting friendships with people who are dear to me. People like Marie Barnes, Jerry Duley, Jenny Shafar, Troy Austin and Brian Levi to name just a few. However, when it comes to friends, the one who I have had the longest and has always meant the most has been my best friend, Scott Smith.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Back when my life was becoming a train wreck due to the ending of my first marriage Scott's life was pretty much becoming somewhat of a train wreck as well. We lost contact with each other, and had no clue where the other was for nearly 14 years. If you are a regular reader of this blog (which, yes, I realize, that's like three people), then you may have read my post last year <strong>Joining das FaceBooken: Why I Dit It</strong> in which I spilled out my main motivation for ever joining FaceBook was in the hopes of reconnecting with my best friend. Well, it did take around a year, and to my surprise he was the one who tracked me down, but it still finally happened. I have to say that from our conversations on the phone, and even chatting through "social media", a new medium for us, it was nearly as if no time at all had passed.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Scott paid us a visit on Labor Day, and we had a chance to catch up face to face. Again, not much has changed, other than he's gone a little gray, while I've gone blond. Hhehehehehehe. Currently Scott is playing bass in the up and coming band Divided/Bye. Of course you know I think that's cool, because he, as well as I, am doing the thing that he has always wanted to do. Now back in our freshman year of high school, or rather our last year in junior high school... Yes, that's right, we attended junior high school, because again, we're from Polk County, Florida! But, anyway, in our, erstwhile <strong>senior year of junior high school</strong> we came up with the idea for a band, despite the fact that at the time Scott could barely play a guitar of any sort, and that I could play nothing, or even sing worth a shit. (Hey, it was going to be a speed/death metal band anyway, so what did it matter?)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Anyway, I had the name and gimmick all figured out, Afterbirth! Oh, yeah, it's as sick and as twisted as it sounds. Yes, Afterbirth would have had this huge, Iron Maiden-esque, stage set up, however, instead of having a huge robot Eddie that could walk out on stage and shoot sparks out of its eyes there was going to be a gigantic set of female legs, one on each side of the band. (Yeah, I'm pretty sure you know where this is going.) At the start of the show the crowd pretty much gets hosed as the "water" breaks. Then throughout the concert there are burst of blood and little chunks of faux meat. At the climax of the show a huge, foam, baby would be shot from a cannon into the center of the crowd. And of course, finally, at the finale, great fountains of "blood" and faux gore would erupt from between the legs, shooting over the drummer's head as the titular afterbirth came into play.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">What can I say? That was the vision of a couple of 15 year old would be rock gods back in 1986. Too bad rap and Metallica had to come along and fuck it up.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, if you're going to be in the Lakeland, Florida Area the last weekend of October do not miss your chance to see Divided/Bye and help support a good cause. On Saturday, October 27, Divided/Bye and three other bands will be taking part in Bands 4 Boobs. Yes, that's right, Bands 4 Boobs! An event sponsored by Sinking Ink Tattoos and Johnny G's Bar to help fund a little breast cancer research. Be sure to check out Divided/Bye's FaceBook page for updates and details.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Okay, I know this post is far and away from the usual subjects I cover on this blog, those of horror and writing, or the more often combined subject of horrible writing. So now it's time to get on track as I turn my attention back to that place I mentioned at the very beginning of this post Literotica.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, according to its own press, and most Internet search engines, Literotica is the "number one erotic story submission site in the world". And granted, I suppose when it comes to the volume of submissions they get they probably are, however, it takes more than a high volume of submissions to be considered the number one erotic story site. In fact, as what I am about to discuss was skirted in another forum, I think perhaps that <u><strong>Kink~E Magazine</strong></u> owner Marabelle Blue put it best when she questioned, "They still even exist?"</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Again, if you've followed me on my journey as a writer you know that Literotica was actually my first publication pit stop. And again, if you read at least a couple of posts back, <strong>Egomania Still Runnin' Wild, Brother: How Michael C. Laney Became A "Liberated" Author</strong>, then you already know that when I say "pit stop" I mean that I had been writing for a very very long time before ever submitting to Literotica, and not that I was reading stories on Literotica and suddenly one day decided I was a writer and that I would send in stories there too. I am sure that my experience is actually the same experience that many other actual writers have had, when, deciding to branch out into publication after years of being "dormant", dormant due to the fact that for years you were locked out of the exclusive club of established "published" writers because you were poor. It hits them that the world has changed and the Internet has opened up new possibilities. Admittedly, like the proverbial fool, I rushed in, when I saw there was the opportunity to be published and read online without the hassle of publishing houses, agents and a bazillion dollar bank account to feed them with. I went in thinking I was joining a community of like minded people and peers, and oh what an uninformed fool I was indeed.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now if my <strong>Egomania Still Runnin' Wild</strong> post was not enough to paint a picture of the independent writing scene in general, or the independent erotica writing scene in particular, then let me tell you that Literotica is a pretty good example of why you NEVER want to submit to an online story site. I know many people will gripe and piss and moan over this and that content guideline or restriction, on this site vs. that site, and for the most part Literotica has fair guidelines, but in the end who gives a fuck, because Master Vyle's Number One reason as to why you should never submit a story to any website is your content should not be restricted within reason. Now that may sound vague, but it isn't really. My philosophy is that if it's been published in print before and considered legal, then it's good enough for ePublishing. PERIOD! And when the high lords of eBook publishing come down from their glass towers (i.e. they have some low level jabroni send me an e-mail) threatening to terminate my account with them if I do not remove "<u><em><strong>Book X</strong></em></u>" from their listings for violating their content guidelines I simply point to something, usually that print edition of Stephen King's <u><em><strong>It</strong></em></u> (which also so conveniently comes in an eBook edition on the same site) with its <em><strong>waaaaaaaay</strong></em> underage sewer gang bang, and underage male on male masturbation scenes in their print book listings, and they promptly shut the fuck up and send me another e-mail about five days later thanking me for assisting in their "investigation". Guidelines are not a valid reason for avoiding submitting to an online story site. The fact that you are indeed NOT joining a community of your peers, and the fact that you are NOT reaching the audience that you are hoping to reach IS.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Of course that is not to say that there are not some wonderful readers (and writers) on Literotica as well as other story submission sites. There are, and in fact I have quite a few loyal fans who I gained through my association through Literotica in particular. It was a learning experience. I also can point out that I would not be where I am on my journey as a writer today without having joined Literotica. However I also have to point out that I am on that part of the journey because one of my stories, <em><strong>Fungi</strong></em>, was plagiarized off of Literotica.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">However, for the most part, Literotica was just the beginning of that negative experience that was being associated with that term "independent author". Not only did it not take me very long to figure out that I was not among peers who would take a look at my work and offer constructive criticism, but I quickly found out that a majority of its readers were quite frankly the dregs of humanity, and often times it seemed to me that many of them existed for no other purpose than to read either cutting edge stories, or stories from genres or dealing with subjects they completely hated, for no other reason than to tear them apart. (If you don't believe me just go to Literotica and look at their "Most Recent Comments" section.) I quickly dubbed the site Il-Literotica, and Cat-Literotica, because either most of the stories were written so badly they made me want to do physical harm to myself (and these people actually rejected some of my stories over "<span style="color: lime;"><strong>punctuation issues</strong></span>"), or the readers were allowed to post comments that were such shit and get away with it that it was unbelievable. In fact freedom of speech and expression is a hallmark and paramount on Literotica, at least in its comments and forums, including, but not limited to, outright racism. Writers on Literotica, and their works, are fair game. <em><strong>I'ma Prefessional Kommenter, Yep</strong></em> was rejected five times, the final time with a warning that I would be suspended if I ever submitted it again. (Damn I should have sent it in a sixth time!) I was told that it couldn't be posted because it would, <span style="color: lime;"><strong>"Cause too much discussion"</strong></span><span style="color: orange;">, </span>and <span style="color: lime;"><strong>"Literotica is a place our readers like to come and relax and have a good time and not feel like they're being attacked."</strong></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, so it was never meant to be a place for writers to come and relax and have a good time and not feel like they were being attacked?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I had not posted anything to Literotica since February of 2011, shortly after I published <u><em><strong>Heather's Journey: The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE</strong></em></u> as an eBook. As I moved to focus more on eBook publishing I began to let those accounts kind of "die" where I could. I'm pretty sure everyone knows the story of me and LushStories by now, so I won't bore you with that one. Occasionally I would still get feedback from someone on Literotica, and I would always answer back (because I M Not Famous...LOL), to thank the readers for their feedback and kind words, and to let them know that I no longer posted stories there, and pretty much where to find me online to stay posted on what I was doing in the future.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, unlike most larger story sites Literotica does not give you a box or button so that you can just simply delete your account if you want to leave. Nor does it address deleting your account or individual works in its FAQ's Section on their site. When I decided to switch gears and no longer post stories online I was not all that worried with it, though several times in the past I had wanted that information. I just figured I would leave things as they were, no fuss, no muss.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yet, Literotica still became the bane of my existence. Remember? U R famous... LOL. That still occasionally cropped up here and there. I think one reason is due to the fact that, for some strange reason, a shit load of devout Christians read stories on Literotica and for some reason stories about cuckold couples and interracial sex bothers the Hell out of them. The other is that I believe that 99% of the people who actually read stories on Literotica are from Fuknmyownsister, West Virginia. It was all typical Il-Literotica dot Com bullshit until the day I got an e-mail from Amazon, who decided they wanted to have a debate with me about exactly what constituted an eBook, as I had several stories for sale on Amazon (for the whopping price of $0.99 which only nets me a $0.35 royalty mind you) which had been previously posted on Literotica, and I was being ordered to remove the works in question from Amazon for offering my "eBooks" for free elsewhere which violated my agreement with Amazon, or they were going to terminate my account. Well, of course that didn't happen, but to give you the "<em><strong>Reader's</strong></em> <em><strong>Digest</strong></em>" condensed book version of what did happen I wrote Amazon a really "vyle" and nasty letter which basically talked down to them like they were a bunch of fuckin' morons who were on my payroll and not the other way around (which is true.) In that letter I stated that the works in question were not only different versions of the stories in question (and they were, updated, upgraded and edited), but they were also NOT eBooks. I further speculated that they had not issued a similar warning to Erika Leonard (E.L. James) or her publishing house, Random House UK, as a work titled <u><em><strong>Master Of The Universe</strong></em></u>, better known as <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u>, was readily available on several sites for free from one "snowqueensicedragon", followed by a long list of URLs as to where they cold find it. The next afternoon <u><em><strong>Master Of The Universe</strong></em></u> was no longer available online, though I am still told you can find PDF copies of it everywhere. Four days later Amazon sent me a letter to let me know my works would remain on Amazon and to thank me for assisting them with their investigation.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"><strong>YOU'RE WELCOME!</strong></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Okay, okay. Of course I can't totally claim responsibility for eradication the existence of those last "copies" of <u><em><strong>Master Of The Universe</strong></em></u> which had been submitted to or were otherwise carried on various websites online. However, it was an awesome coincidence, albeit an inconvenient one as I was doing my side by side comparison between it and <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> at the time on one of those sites. I'll get more into that GREY area of SnowJob IceDragon's little "<em><strong>Twilight</strong></em>" world in just a bit, but I will say from what I compared personally, when going along with those estimated figures that <u><em><strong>Master Of The Universe</strong></em></u> and <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> were somewhere in the neighborhood of 87% the same content, 90% was due to name changes alone.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, on to that final straw. The thing which made me do what I know so many have wondered, How can I do this? Just how THE FUCK can I get my stories off of Literotica? The thing that actually made me say, AWWWWW, Fuck this shit! I'm done with dealing with Literotica and I'm going to get off of it! What? Oh what horrible thing, after two years of snide comments from inbreds, indifference from its administration, being plagiarized from its virtual pages and having threats levied at me by Mighty Amazon itself could finally make me say, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, boys and girls, the answer is a letter. A letter from, a fan. Ooooooh. Ahhhhhh. ~GASP~ YES! That's right. It was a letter from A FAN!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Here is the letter in its entirety. Note: For comedic effect and to PROVE this came from someone who obviously reads regularly on Literotica I have not edited it. Just as I did not edit Gina Kincade's e-mail which proved that 30 or so correspondence course completion certificates in Creative Writing from Conestoga College are not enough to teach someone the difference between THEN and THAN.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"><strong>Comments:<br /><br />Being a BBW myself I love you bbw stories. I am sure you have gone millions of these letters... All that most of us want is someone to love and appreciate us. <br /><br />anyhow... THANK YOU!!!<br />fill free to respond... or not either way I WILL be back to read more of your amazing stories.</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Short, simple and to the point. It's a fan/comment letter not unlike any other of dozens and dozens I am sure are written to writers on Literotica every day. In fact on the surface it pretty much looks like nothing special to most people. I, however, being that, I M NOT Famous..LOL, take a different view of letters like this.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">You see when I was younger, and I am sure most everyone who I ever went to school with can vouch for me on this, I loved Garfield the Cat. I was a huge Garfield fan, and I idolized his creator, Jim Davis. My mother bought me the third collection of Garfield comic strips, <u><em><strong>Garfield At Large</strong></em></u>, and at the front of that book were step by step instructions on how to draw Garfield. For many years drawing Garfield and his friends, as well as other Garfield inspired characters helped to fill an otherwise lonely and dreary existence. I was, in fact, so noted for being able to draw the character that I was asked to write the final sixth grade school play at Bridger's Avenue Elementary School, <em><strong>Garfield Greets Spring</strong></em>, as well as designing the sets and playing it in. (This was of course when you could do such things without the National Guard showing up to raid your sixth grade school play because you were infringing someones intellectual property rights.)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">It was during the time that I was working on that school play that my mother was able to track down an address for Jim Davis, so as any good fan would, I wrote him a letter. Within a matter of weeks I had a response, and you can only imagine my excitement. Now Jim Davis was not the first "famous" person I had ever gotten a letter from, however, he was the first one I had gotten a letter from who I idolized. I was overjoyed with this letter, and proud of it, and of course I just couldn't help myself, I wrote him a second letter to profusely thank him for his quick response to my letter.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">You can only imagine my disappointment when a few weeks later my second letter from Jim Davis arrived and I opened it and read it only to find that the contents of the letter were exactly the same as the first. In fact the only difference was that it came on a piece of Garfield stationery which had a different design than the first letter had been typed on.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Looking back I realize that I had written to Jim Davis at the height of Garfield's popularity in the mid-1980's. I am sure at that time he must have been so inundated with fan mail from both adults and children from around the world it would have been impossible for him to even respond to a fraction of them personally. Despite my disappointment I was never really mad with Jim Davis, and age and wisdom have dulled my disappointment with understanding. However, from day one on Literotica when my first feedback e-mail came in those letters were the first thing I thought about, and I made the conscious decision then that as long as I was some little guy (which will more than likely be forever) that I would always personally respond to fan mail and let people know their comments and kind words were appreciated.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Therefore I did "<span style="color: lime;"><strong>fill free</strong></span>", as always, to respond to this fan, one Natalie Hill. Below is my response e-mail in its entirety.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><strong>Greetings,</strong></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><strong>Thank you for your message. I am very glad that you have enjoyed my stories and always look forward to hearing from my readers. I just wanted to let you know that I no longer post stories online, having made the decision to publish them in eBook formats instead. Currently I have a few available, although several have been previously released on story sites, though I am currently working on several new works including the follow up to The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE. I have been sick with migraines since October and am finally getting back on track and back to my old self and am beginning to pick up on my writing again and getting back on track with that as well as blogging. For the moment the best way to keep up to date on what I have coming soon would be to find me on FaceBook under Michael C. Laney or on my House Of Master Vyle Blog. Thank you again, and I do hope to entertain you with even better stories in the future.</strong></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><strong> </strong></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><strong>Be Well,</strong></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"><strong>Michael C. Laney</strong></span></div>
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<strong><span style="background-color: black; color: cyan;"></span></strong> </div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I know this is fairly standard stuff, and admittedly not much has really been going on with me, so at times I am at a loss as to what to tell new fans other than were to go to find my most current information. I hate sounding like an advertisement, so I've tried not to bog my responses down with a list of projects in the works or to say things like, "Yeah, I'm on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, go there to see what I got for sale." I want to be personal enough so that a reader can relate to me the way they can the characters I've created who they like, and I felt that this reader obviously connected with my characters from her brief letter.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well of course you would think that this should be the end. I am actually quite used to it being the end. There are lots of times I get one letter from someone who really liked a story or stories, I write them back, and there's never anything else, and I'm fine with that, because I have done what I have committed to do, and that is answer them personally. If and when they write back again it is a different story. As long as I can help it I do not want anyone to feel they're getting a form letter from me. In fact it's thrilling for me when that second letter comes from the same fan. It was the thrill I had when I went into my inbox and saw I had a message from Natalie Hill.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yet when I opened and read that message, after looking it over and really comprehending what it was, that excitement turned into disappointment, the same disappointment I had felt when I had gotten that second letter from Jim Davis all those years ago. After a few minutes that disappointment turned into abject rage.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">You see the e-mail I was looking at, the bulk of it, was my own e-mail that is presented above. Ms. Hill had forwarded it to one of her friends, and she had also (apparently without realizing it) sent me a copy. Added above my response was this line:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"><strong>this is from one of the authors on literotica... I really enjoyed reading his story and sent him a message and this was his reply to me. I honestly dont remember what all I said other than I liked his story</strong></span></div>
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<strong><span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"></span></strong> </div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, Nat, if you're reading this, since one of the things I directed you to was this blog, what you said was, "<span style="color: lime;"><strong>fill free to respond...</strong><span style="color: orange;">".</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">In hindsight, this is how I FILL FREE to respond today: Natalie Hill, you FILL FREE to mosey on down to the local READIN' STO'E, down there in Bald Knob, Kentucky or Fuknmyownsister, West Virginnie, or where the hell ever you're from, buy your semi-literate, diddlin' yourself on Il-Literotica all day self a copy the College Edition of <strong><em><u>Webster's Dictionary</u></em></strong> and jam that bitch up your ass! That's how I FEEL FREE to respond today. How the hell dare you send off a copy of my e-mail to one of your friends like I'm some kind of creepy perv, or garden variety stalker? You wrote me, to thank me, to say you appreciated my stories. You told me to "<span style="color: lime;"><strong>fill free to respond</strong></span>", and I did, and that was the thanks I got for that?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">NO MORE FUCKIN' FREEBIES!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I might do free eBooks. I might do free eBook promotions. And yeah, I know I'm one of those, never say never guys, however, I WILL NEVER, FUCKING EVER, submit a story to an online story submission site again for inbred white trash from Podunk Junction, Missouri to try and fathom, so if you're lucky enough to find any of those stories I left on those oddball random sites, ENJOY!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, so YES, thanks to Natalie Hill that last straw broke the back of one exceptionally strong and stubborn camel. I said, "That's it! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I went into full "Research King" mode, trying to come up with the answer that age old question: How do I delete my stories from Literotica? Well believe it or not the answer was actually buried on Literotica's own forums. I say the answer was buried in its forums because: A. The answers given there are always delivered by overbearing jackasses who act like they're super smart tech geeks that are above it all and smarter than everyone else (i.e. - They're overbearing jackasses who are super smart tech geeks who have absolutely no common sense, couldn't get laid in a morgue, and know nary a damn thing about writing), coupled with a string of the usual snide, crude and abusive comments from Cat-Literotica's usual inbred peanut gallery. And B. The answers being given looked so stupid and simplistic that it seemed that there was no possible way that it could be the solution.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">However it was the solution. And if you want your stories off Literotica, right here and now, Master Vyle is going to give you that solution, without the hassle of dealing with Il-Literotica's pet snide tech geeks, or its butt fuck inbred bunch.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, to have a work removed from Literotica this is all you have to do, and it's so simple most of you will probably not believe it. Basically it is the same procedure for updating or editing a story on Literotica. If you've never done that before that information actually can be found in Literotica's FAQs. Even without reading them it's a simple process. You simply go into the submission area and submit your story by entering in the title of the story you want removed on the Title line followed by the word DELETE. Like a regular submission, for whatever dumbass Literotica tech geek reason, you have to choose a category. Then you go to the Text area and also type in nothing other than DELETE. This done you submit it as the story you want deleted, and you are done.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Hard to believe?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, I didn't quite believe it myself. In fact, I actually think Literotica and its tech geek jackasses want you to believe its more complicated than this so you won't even bother to attempt it. However, I gave it a shot, and was rewarded several days later when my test story disappeared off of Literotica. Once I saw that it really worked I knew I was in business.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, I won't lie to you. It's a slow process, because after all, it's Cat-Literotica we're talking about. Now their average turn around time on a story is three days on a good week. Their average time on an edited story is about a week, and that holds true with stories to be deleted as well. In fact, on average each work I submitted for deletion was moderated on average FORTY TIMES! Now, again, you would think this would be an easy matter. After all, you're talking a document with a title that actually contains one word, that favorite of Cybus Industries produced Cybermen, DELETE! But, hell, it's Il-Literotica, and apparently that extends past its readership and up into admins as well.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, this was a fairly long process. Including all the parts of <strong><em><u>her Master's Voice</u></em></strong>, which was an edited for content and chapter by chapter publication of <u><em><strong>Heather's Journey: The Sound Of her MASTER'S</strong></em></u> <u><em><strong>VOICE</strong></em></u>, I had over 140 works on Literotica, including various short stories, poems, articles and essays. Because I had other things to work on I added a few works to the "delete" list every few days. I guess you could say I was rubbing it in since Literotica only, apparently, will delete someones account outright, if the author goes to the site's administration and grovels and gives them what they deem "<strong><span style="color: lime;">compelling reasons</span></strong>" to do so. I am a Dominant, so you know that was not going to happen.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span> </div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, a month and a half into the process I think that Literotica finally got the message. With 20 poems left on the site their administration made the decision to delete them without me having to bother to go through "the process". I remember logging into my account that day and going into submissions and seeing that the number of submissions was zero. I kind of looked at the screen and blinked. Then I opened the window to the next screen to double check, and indeed found that all of my remaining works had been deleted. I sat for a minute, then I laughed to myself. Then for a minute I considered sending a very nasty message to Literotica's admins demanding to know what had happened to the rest of my shit and stating that I didn't want any of that deleted, just to be a bitch.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Hhehehehehehehe.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHGCojtluOZZF4PUtdlXTLNz74XIRi88EGJbSVS-OCa4uPN2AogvxhdOp38bmK3cIS2UMEOS7Fo4p2wnbXdWu4DfWiNK8sn7CH7j4NSfUL8gFiCmC9WlM6HXu2XXuuo8l9aNgxq0jCHhvF/s1600/SAM_0709.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHGCojtluOZZF4PUtdlXTLNz74XIRi88EGJbSVS-OCa4uPN2AogvxhdOp38bmK3cIS2UMEOS7Fo4p2wnbXdWu4DfWiNK8sn7CH7j4NSfUL8gFiCmC9WlM6HXu2XXuuo8l9aNgxq0jCHhvF/s640/SAM_0709.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;"><strong>Adieu, Literotica... Or as we say in Polk County, Florida, FUCKIN' C-YA!</strong></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, of course, on occasion, you can actually find some doozies out there in places other than story submission sites. Such is the story of Jun Baran. I think it's Jun Baran. It could be Jun Baron. Or Jan Buaran. Or Jan Brady. Or even possibly Candie Darlin. Watashi no Candy desu?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">This next little lulu falls under the category of "grindhouse" marketing. If you're not familiar with that term it's basically where something which isn't that much of a deal, say <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u>, is hyped to the point that it outsells something that is a huge deal, say <u><em><strong>Harry Potter And The Search For The Philosopher's Stone</strong></em></u>. This technique is often used to promote racy and/or ultra-gory movies, and it often fails, say in the instance of the Quentin Tatantino and Robert Rodriguez flop attempt to revitalize grindhouse movie marketing, <em><strong>Grindhouse</strong></em>.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, grindhouse marketing is something that should not be done with books, especially if it is done by an independent erotica author, unless the book is exceptional. For the record I will freely admit that <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> and its sequels are truly exceptional pieces of shit. However, when you throw in someone, maybe perhaps someone even I will go out on a limb and admit may possibly be stupider than Erika Leonard, and that is a double espresso "especially" reason an independent erotica author should never make an attempt to grindhouse market their own book.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, Erika, Jun Baran may be more retardeder than you.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I initially came across "Jun Baran" on a FaceBook post from "Candie Darlin", who I now believe, from having read the nuggets of fun she posts is either a sock account for Jun Baran or Baran's Siamese twin sister. Now, the post itself was to announce that <u><em><strong>Sins Of Mother Superior</strong></em></u> by Jun "Bara" had been released on Amazon. (You will note I put Bara in quotes, yet another different spelling of the author's last name.) Darlin's post went on to state, <span style="color: lime;"><strong>"Efforts to suppress the book have failed. The book is still available even tho it has been placed on the List of Forbidden Texts by the Holy Office in Rome."</strong></span></span><br />
<strong><span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"></span></strong><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, of course you know I was intrigued. Even "<span style="color: lime;"><strong>tho</strong></span>" it was apparently on a list of "forbidden text". Due to the fact that I am from POLK COUNTY, FLORIDA, I have this uncanny ability to sniff out absolute BULLSHIT! I nearly broke my fingers pulling up this book on Amazon. Reading her bio it became clear that Baran had done more than just raise the ire of the Holy Office. She had the attention of the Valican itself. Yes! That's right! THE VALICAN!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Baran's biography, if it can be called that, attached to <u><em><strong>Sins Of Mother Superior</strong></em></u> is as follows:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: lime; font-family: inherit;"><strong>Jun Baron is a princess of the lost Kingdom of Nan. She fled the valley when the
Kingdom fell to the Visigoths and the forces of Modernity. One of her recent
books was banned in Boston. It was also placed on the List of Proscribed Texts
by the Holy Office of the Valican. The book was publically burned by the League
of Decency. The President of the League, the Reverend Doctor Jimbo Stomper, has
written a denunciation of the works of Princess Baran. "Rome fell because of
moral decay - and the Visigoths. Books like those of Baran must be committted to
eternal fire!" The Reverend Jose Mather has said of her book: "Muy Caliente!
Estos infamosos!" Baran has been in hiding for the past three month. She is at
an undisclosed location. She is currently writing a history of the Visigoths.</strong></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">You will note that there are two spellings for the author's last name in her bio. You will also note that her books were "<span style="color: lime;"><strong>publically</strong></span>" burned. One of her recent books, one assumes this one, as it is her only "novel" length work, is banned in Boston. JUST LIKE CHIC-FIL-A! LMMFAO!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange; font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange; font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, of course, not one of the people denouncing this book actually exist. The blurb on the origin of <em><strong>The Disco Exorcist</strong></em> is actually more believable. Honestly the only name you could find any sort of match too would be the Reverend (because the Catholic Church is full of reverends) Jose Mather. You can find many Jose Mathers, however you'll never find the one who delivered the quote given in Baran's bio. Plus on that note, and even though I am from Florida I'm no expert in Spanish, however, I'm pretty sure that, "Muy Caliente!", translates to something along the lines of, "Pretty hot."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">So, the "reverend" denouncing the book thought it was pretty hot?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, I suppose it could work. After all, the implication is this is the Catholic Church she's talking about.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Of course the ignorant grindhouse misinformation isn't limited to Amazon and advertising in the Independent Erotica communities on FaceBook. On her FaceBook page Ms. Darlin continues to spin Jun Brady Baran's tale of woe, stating that, <strong><span style="color: lime;">"The Sins of Mother Superior by Jun Baran has been declared to be a threat to public safety in Alabama. Gov Jimbo Mather has denied the plea for communtation of Jun Baran. She is now serving a two year sentence for inciting a riot."</span></strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"></span></strong><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well now, that's hilarious, especially when you consider the fact that Jimbo Mather is someone else who does not exist, unless she means Jim Mather, who is a member of the Scottish Parliament. Robert J. Bentley is the Governor of Alabama, and he has been since January of 2011. Of course you may be noticing at this point that the name Jimbo keeps coming up more often than it does in Polk County, Florida.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Of course this only gets better. You see, not only does Jun Baran have one work denounced by the VALICAN with a poorly written bio on if for sale on Amazon, she actually has two, the other being <em><strong>The Grass Skirt</strong></em>.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4sspqVMA0HuRqsee9BRJ_euRZlwPC76MVKnrHVYYC2T187-kwHGop52Qzds2LKiN_IID3UC7_hYbepIpo7jB2jlGxWWMdbrA4jLnqyvYDPJvqnYwJ7cOM6BtFwfXQmUzy8UdNJS01jCny/s1600/Sinner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="467" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4sspqVMA0HuRqsee9BRJ_euRZlwPC76MVKnrHVYYC2T187-kwHGop52Qzds2LKiN_IID3UC7_hYbepIpo7jB2jlGxWWMdbrA4jLnqyvYDPJvqnYwJ7cOM6BtFwfXQmUzy8UdNJS01jCny/s640/Sinner.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;"><strong>Jun Baran's works. So CONTROVERIAL they're denounced by the VALICAN. THE VALICAN PEOPLE!</strong></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Here is a look at Baran's author bio from <em><strong>The Grass Skirt</strong></em>:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: lime;"><span style="color: black;">
</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><strong><span style="background-color: black; color: lime; font-family: inherit;">Jun Baran lives in Bangkok. Her father was born in Paris. Her work
is controverial. Her last book was banned in Boston. I was also placed of the
List of Proscribed texts by the Holy Office of the Vatican. Her books have been
publically burned by the League of Decency. The President of the League
Reverend Jimbo Stomper - has said: "Filth! Her books are salacous [sic]
filth!" Father Jose Mather y Lopez has said: "Muy caliente!
Infamoso!"</span></strong></span></span></span><br />
<strong><span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"></span></strong><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWHR7HuQ1jKlFamflBSp4WG9Ozkjx4Z0adNafENNu4-u0p27pzch4kmpjCUyCkpoCrX1ywLMQzU12hKecJVg_3RBVQg2W1GwC6oJ7HWUJmpHh4XWfPL1OC52ZEsQRVXNQQ3kr-Gyr_V6_s/s1600/SAM_0422.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWHR7HuQ1jKlFamflBSp4WG9Ozkjx4Z0adNafENNu4-u0p27pzch4kmpjCUyCkpoCrX1ywLMQzU12hKecJVg_3RBVQg2W1GwC6oJ7HWUJmpHh4XWfPL1OC52ZEsQRVXNQQ3kr-Gyr_V6_s/s640/SAM_0422.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: large;"><strong>Ohhh-BOY!</strong></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: lime;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: lime;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-family: inherit;">Granted it is not as long or as flashy as her bio for <u><em><strong>Sins Of Mother Superior</strong></em></u>, although you can see that Reverend Jose Mather has magically become Father Jose Mather y Lopez. (<span style="color: cyan;"><strong><em>En Energrish</em></strong></span>: Father Jose Mather "and" Lopez, Attorneys at LAW!) Also her works are "<span style="color: lime;"><strong>controverial</strong></span>".</span></span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now if Jun Baran/Candie Darlin are consistent about anything it seems to be their fetish for the names Jimbo and Mather, almost as if there were no other fictitious names that she could come up with. Which would be enough to lead one to the conclusion that if she only uses a combination of the same two names for all of her characters, then her stories must be pretty fucking boring. Well, of course you know I just had to take a look at a preview of the book. Here is an example of what awaits the reader inside of <u><em><strong>Sins Of Mother Superior</strong></em></u>!</span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"I confess my sins, Holy Mother!", I said, my voice breaking. She held out her hand and I humbly kissed her ring.</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"Here kneel!" I knelt before the holy woman. The holy woman sat on the chair, her chin held high. She composed her self, and smoothed her habit. She reached down, and raised the black robes of her habit. She spread her legs, then covered her face with the hem of her black habit. "Expiate your sins, my son!" she commanded firmly. Her secret place was shamelessly revealed, with its dark lips and frizzy hair.</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"Mother Superior! This is sinful," I was shocked at her lewd display.</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"Silence! You must consecrate my secret place and give me the kiss of peace!" Sister Serenity said sternly.</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Okay! Admit it! When she said, "<span style="color: yellow;"><strong>Silence!</strong></span><span style="color: orange;">", </span>you added, <span style="color: cyan;"><strong>I KEEEEL YOU</strong></span>, in your head. LMMFAO!</span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">In all honesty, perhaps the only way to actually read a book as awful as <u><em><strong>Sins Of Mother Superior</strong></em></u> looks to be from what I have seen so far would be to cast the characters in your head and have every single one of them use a different inflection of Jeff Dunham's Achmed the Dead Terrorist voice.</span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Again, I'll freely admit that it's quite possible that <u><em><strong>Sins Of Mother Superior</strong></em></u> just might have the potential to make <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> look like a mother fuckin' masterpiece. At this moment, in this economy, I'm not quite prepared to part with any amount of money to find out, and believe me, both Baran's novel and short story, based on how awfully written her Amazon bios are, are waaaaaaay too overpriced, even if she were giving them away for free. And in parting let me just add that on the back cover of the print edition of <u><em><strong>Sins Of Mother Superior</strong></em></u> her bio states that she "<span style="color: lime;"><strong>livesin</strong></span>" Thailand.</span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I feel compelled to add one final little nugget on the subject of Jun "Brady" Baran and <u><em><strong>Sins Of Mother Superior</strong></em></u>. At the time of this post the novel actually a Three Star review tacked onto it on Amazon. It was a long and rambling review, maybe somewhere in the neighborhood of only 13.999999999999998% as long as this blog post (and I'll let you do the math on that one), but I think you get the picture, it was a fairly long review. Now this review seemed to have been written in an attempt to praise Baran's book and writing skills, and one can only assume that it was written by a friend, perhaps even one of her fellow authors at Good Samaritan Press, who perhaps didn't understand that Four Stars would have been better, or that Five would have been "the BESTEST". I mean, after all, when the author bio is written by someone denounced by<span style="color: yellow;"><strong> the VALICAN</strong></span>, and their works are <span style="color: yellow;"><strong>CONRTOVERIAL</strong></span> enough to be (like Chic-fil-a) banned in Boston (where I might add they're tasteless enough to love John Cena), and her books (a bulk of which are in eBook format) have been <span style="color: yellow;"><strong>PUBICALLY</strong></span> burned, and thinks a member of the Scottish Parliament is the Governor of the State of Alabama...</span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yeah, I see how possibly (and hypothetically, mind you), that a "friend" of theirs might think a Three Star rating on Amazon was very good.</span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
<strong><span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: large;">BITCH PLEASE! LMMFAO!</span></strong><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Of course in recent weeks there has been much talk of people buying, and in some cases even writing their own reviews. I would never write a review of my own work, as it is highly unethical. However, I will gladly accept payment for reviews. I do charge a flat fee, and the schedule is as follows: $50 for a Five Star review. $40 for a Four Star review. I write nothing less than a Four Star review, because quite frankly, I am that damn good. Now, I must warn you that I only accept cash or money transfers. American Only! (Sorry, Patti Larsen and Jason Darrick.) Also that money is non-refundable if you are not pleased with the Three Star to Negative Three Star rating I am actually going to give your book, short story or collection.</span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">What? Did you think I meant I would actually give out Four and Five Star reviews for a price? Not at all. The fee covers the quality of my review of your work, not the rating I'm going to give it.</span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: x-large;"><strong>OH, BITCH PLEASE!</strong></span><br />
<span style="background-color: orange; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4c0fbMX7zZX3lG5GAYtHWjiKRvwTL1lSFeJH6KlRNNjVVbdetqo5W8LIixrkf5TpV-jYnW_s7YouuYBPQf0xnOE5XaRv1w016her8Clpgm7uXFx81e8FvFDS9APuNanluHQcDfg0m946u/s1600/SAM_0933.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4c0fbMX7zZX3lG5GAYtHWjiKRvwTL1lSFeJH6KlRNNjVVbdetqo5W8LIixrkf5TpV-jYnW_s7YouuYBPQf0xnOE5XaRv1w016her8Clpgm7uXFx81e8FvFDS9APuNanluHQcDfg0m946u/s640/SAM_0933.JPG" width="566" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: large;"><strong>"Be Jealous!" - Morrison and The Miz</strong></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<span style="color: black;">
</span></span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, here it is! It's the moment all those little "Bunker Bitches" have been waiting for. I didn't save the best for last, but I saved it for next to last, that space devoted to me talking about that thing that I have and all the little 50 Shades fan-girls want, <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of American Women Who Love The Book And Live The Life</strong></em> a.k.a. <em><strong>Fifty Shades Magazine</strong></em>. Well, before you all start raiding those emergency funds you set aside to cover any medical expenses not covered by Obama-Care so you can subscribe to the equivalent of <em><strong>Tiger Beat</strong></em> or <em><strong>Dynamite Magazine</strong></em> for the pre-menopausal woman who's never actually <strong>EVER</strong> had an orgasm with a man, let me be the atomic bomb blast that turns "twilight" into broad daylight. You see, there's no such magazine.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes. Yes, I am laughing my ass off as some of you, mainly due to the fact you consider the works of one Erika Leonard to be high art, are trying to fathom what that actually means.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Spider-Fangire?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOKdb_9M_gG4MzAamIeyVt37qhOmGo2jVj7hcj2McJmL0mdaxiwgQYobuyZcufs0rIAx1DJJqcjyq94bSH4SQ8TBpOVouKOnqjp6JX-ZNtGqa1qrVK7iX3RJ9-Nxb7ni1wFw6GblfugHx6/s1600/spider+fangire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOKdb_9M_gG4MzAamIeyVt37qhOmGo2jVj7hcj2McJmL0mdaxiwgQYobuyZcufs0rIAx1DJJqcjyq94bSH4SQ8TBpOVouKOnqjp6JX-ZNtGqa1qrVK7iX3RJ9-Nxb7ni1wFw6GblfugHx6/s640/spider+fangire.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: x-large;"><strong>HEEE-Hhehehehehehehe!</strong></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Damn. Just the duck puppet again and no crayons. Okay, here goes...</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">You see, that copy of <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of American Women Blah Blah Blah Yaddah Yaddah Yaddah</strong></em> I'm holding is not Issue #1 in a continuing series of <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of American Women With No Real Self-Esteem And Would Run Screaming From A Real Dom If They Ever Really Met One</strong></em>. In reality, what it is, is a copy of <em><strong>Tropix Medial Lab Special</strong></em>. And it's actually Issue #5. Now, Tropix Medial Lab is this semi-fly-by-night magazine publisher, that throws together a one shot fanzine every few months to cash in on whatever the latest craze happens to be. For example future issues include <em><strong>Celebrity Astrology</strong></em> and <em><strong>Reality Stars, Where Are The Now?</strong></em> and of course <em><strong>A Tribute To TV's Greatest Judges</strong></em>. (A collector's edition, obviously, because it has both Simon Cowell and Howard Stern on the cover!) Fanzines like this have been around forever, and I'm actually using the term "fanzine" a little loosely here, as I have no evidence that anyone at Tropix Medial Lab is a hardcore 50 Shades Bunker Bitch at all.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, as a collector's item, depending on the number of issues printed, and as to whether or not a fanzine is official (and this one is not), prices can vary. I, for instance, have a copy of <em><strong>Kiss Guitarist Magazine</strong></em> (yes, <strong><em>that</em></strong> <strong>KISS</strong>, <em><strong>the hottest band in the world</strong></em>), which has great sentimental value to me, but might, just might if I was very, very, very, very, very lucky, net me $0.25 on <em><strong>Pawn Stars</strong></em>. If you have a copy of "<em><strong>Fifty Shades Magazine</strong></em>", trust me, in a few days I am going to help the potential resale value of this collectible, whatever it may be, go up, by destroying my copy.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, several websites have compared <em><strong>Fifty Shades "The Magazine"</strong></em>, to <em><strong>Cosmopolitan</strong></em> on steroids, and let me tell you all, if that's the case, then at a whopping 82 pages, that would make long time WWE and WCW referee Charles Robinson the new Hollywood Hulk Hogan, BROTHER. (And yes, I had to get one in for the EGOMANIACS, BROTHER.) In fact even a low level manager at a local retail chain commented that it was, <span style="color: lime;"><strong>"...just like <em>Cosmopolitan</em>, but edgier, and pushing the boundaries even more further.</strong></span>" Wow! Talk about product knowledge from someone at your local retail store with a token management position. I'll bet that person can tell you exactly how many varieties of salad their deli carries and name every single variation of plout they carry in their produce department right off the top of their head.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">For my own part I have to say the only things which I have actually recently read (other than the preview for <u><em><strong>Sins Of Mother Superior</strong></em></u>) that were funnier, more blow piss out my ass hilarious, than <em><strong>Fifty Shades "The Magazine"</strong></em> are <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Gravy</strong></em> and <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Stupid</strong></em> (each reviewed in posts below). In a nutshell, and I'm pretty sure I don't really have to tell you this, it's painfully obvious that there are only two types of people who would ever buy<em><strong> Fifty Shades "The Magazine"</strong></em>, hardcore Erika (E. L. snowqueensicedragon James) Leonard fans and people, like me, who delight in pointing out that hardcore Erika Leonard fans are the biggest group of "retardedest" fucking morons walking the face of the Earth and not contained within the boundaries of Polk County, Florida.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: large;">Note: A majority of the "articles" and "sources" within <em><strong>Fifty Shades "The Magazine"</strong></em> are uncredited or unlisted. In other words, I'm fairly sure ALL the information in this un-Official fanzine is 100% CORRECT.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: large;">LMMFAO!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">First off the reader is treated with the tale of a man's "meeting" with E. L. James (Erika Leonard), meaning, he was getting her autograph. I actually believed this story because when he ask Leonard what she thinks of "...<span style="color: lime;"><strong>having started a sexual revolution in America</strong></span>" her response is, "<span style="color: lime;"><strong>I don't</strong></span>."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">ROFLMMFAO!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes! Yes, the reason I find it believable is due to the fact that "<span style="color: lime;"><strong>I don't</strong></span>", is Leonard's response to any question that involves her <span style="color: cyan;"><strong><em>"thinking"</em></strong></span><span style="color: orange;">...</span> ABOUT ANYTHING!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The second little bit, coming of course from reliable source number two, that teaser on the cover that has "inner goddesses" twitching all over, the news about ~gasp~ BOOK FOUR!!!!!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, the source, someone else in line somewhere to get Leonard's autograph (again someone TOTALLY RELIABLE), got this information from Leonard's Vintage handler (who of course I am sure would get over FIFTY feet away from Leonard at a book signing). Not only did this jabroni from Vintage reveal that there was going to be a BOOK FOUR (INNER GODDESSES REJOICE), and that sex happened within the first five pages (~WHEW~ MUCH BETTER THAN WAITING FIVE CHAPTERS), and... AND that it would be out in time for Christmas (JUST LIKE THAT FIFTY SHADES COLOGNE a.k.a. A USED TAMPON or USED MAXI-PAD), but... BUT she actually opened her laptop and showed it to her.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, yes! Like they really do that!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: large;"><strong><span style="color: red;">NEWS FLASH BUNKER BITCHES!</span> NO! THEY DON'T!</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">AnyWho... Back to the Inner Goddess FanGasm that is <em><strong>Fifty Shades "The Magazine"</strong></em> (and yes I keep referring to it as <em><strong>Fifty Shades "The Magazine"</strong></em> because it's funny, like saying <strong><em>Spaceballs "The Video Tape"). </em></strong>Well, if I haven't made your "Inner Goddess" sag and frown like the sag bags hanging on a majority of most women who "love the book and live the life", please read on, because I'm not quite done yet.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Hhehehehehehehehehe.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The real life Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, oh, I mean Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, are pretty much dissed by Tropix Media Lab's compilers in their <em>"Juicy Movie Details"</em> section. Pattinson doesn't even make the potential cast list, and Stewart showed up as the person they begged Hollywood <strong>NOT</strong> to cast as Anastasia Steele. One can only imagine they were afraid she would show off her whisker biscuit a'la Sharon Stone in <em><strong>Basic Instinct</strong></em>. By the way Sharon Stone did make the fan-girl cream dream cast list (as "Mrs. Robinson").</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Other fun parts include things like beginner's tips on how to properly spank someone, something that Christian Grey could have found useful, if he gave a rat's ass about SSC. (Sorry, Bunker Bitches, I know all you know about BDSM you learned from the <strong>Fifty Shades Books</strong>, and have no clue what SSC means.) A section on cocktails inspired by the book (because we know Anastasia Steele holds her liquor so well). A survey of men asking them which character from the books they wanted to date the most, and believe it or not Anastasia's slutty best friend Kate Kavanaugh won by a whopping 45.5% margin while Grey's sloppy seconds of Ana and "Mrs. Robinson" tied for last place with 9.1%. Yes, that wowed me, because what hot blooded straight guy in his right mind doesn't want to go out on a date with a 23 year old hot chick who looks like Kristen Stewart, has zero self-esteem, is dumber than a brick and will give her virginity up on her first date EVER? Oh, wait , I know what it was. They were all afraid of her massive whisker biscuit.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">There are a few longer pieces inside <em><strong>Fifty Shades "The Magazine"</strong></em> as well, however they mainly seem to come from the points of view of closet submissives and people somewhat disillusioned into trying BDSM Erika Leonard style. The fanzine's one potential shred of credibility comes in the form of an interview with sex therapist Dr. Stephen Snyder that was conducted by Jeff Ashworth. I'll say it's the closest it comes, because it becomes fairly apparent after doing a little research that Dr. Snyder is pretty much a 50 Shades fan-boy. At least that was my take on Dr. Snyder, insomuch as it looks as if he wants to cash in on the 50 Shades craze by making it into his own little version of <em>"Mars and Venus".</em> I guess like those quacking independent erotica authors with little talent and recognition there are some sex therapist who need to latch onto the fan-fic shit wave to have attention drawn to themselves too. Of course he starts off by reminding people it's only a book and not to take it too seriously. Then later on seems to talk about Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele as if they're concrete people to be analyzed (because sex therapist go sooooooo deep into analyzing their patients). On <u><strong>Psychology Today</strong></u>'s website an anonymous commenter quipped, <span style="color: lime;"><strong>"As for 50 shades -- The excerpts I read, read like the journal of a 15 year old fat girl.", </strong></span><span style="color: orange;">in response to Snyder's article <em><strong>Fifty Shades For Men</strong></em>. Snyder spent time answering this and other negative comments by redirecting them back to passages in his article, and telling people, they pretty much didn't get what he was talking about at all.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"><span style="color: cyan;">What Dr. Snyder Is Talking About = He Is Trying To Make Money From Taking About <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> As If It's Relevant</span> (Or at least that was the impression I got.)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">P.S. - If you want to see a sex therapist who might know something about BDSM other than what you learned from <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> make an appointment with Dr. Gloria Brame. Why? Dr. Gloria Brame actually has a background in dealing with BDSM, BDSM Lifestyle relationships and fetishes, and I am sure she is infinitely more qualified to deal with the subject than Dr. Stephen Snyder and Erika Leonard combined.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Honestly, you do not actually have to buy <em><strong>Fifty Shades "The Magazine"</strong></em> to make fun of it. All you have to do it read the cover. For instance it tells you to: "Release Your Inner Goddess! With 80 pages of jump-starting sex secrets." And believe me I was looking hard for those 80 PAGES of jump-starting sex secrets contained within an 82 PAGE FANZINE. Quite the feat when you consider that there are FIVE PAGES of full page ads alone, and somewhere in the neighborhood of TEN PAGES of full page photos. It was just like looking for all those "hot and mind blowing sex scenes" in <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u>.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">LMMFAO!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The cover also offers "50 Women 50 Stories". Wow, like one from every state, but no one from D.C. or Puerto Rico. Yes, it's fuckin' funny, because it's so difficult to track down 50 morons who absolutely love <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u>. And of course since it's a "fanzine" they did not interview anyone who did not "love the book or live the life". Better yet there is this teaser on the cover, "Reviewed: 20 Books even steamier than Shades!" DUH! Like that's really fuckin' hard! Unless you're Jun Baran.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I could go on and on about this, I really could, but unfortunately all good thing must end eventually. In closing on the subject of <em><strong>Fifty Shades "The Magazine"</strong></em> I want to leave you with a quote from one of those titular 50 Women. The quote is from "Jane", a thitrysomething year old woman from Missouri. (And yes, it's totally fuckin' funny to me that someone from the good old "Show Me" State would make a comment such as this.) <span style="color: lime;"><strong> "I still get turned on looking at the cover."</strong></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Okay, "Jane", okay. If looking at gray neck ties turns you on, then this one is just for you!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: x-large;">YOU'RE WELCOME!</span></strong></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yep. There you go, "Jane". A triple shot of out of style gray neck ties just for you!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">As I get ready to wind this post down I have to announce that this will more than likely be my last post for the foreseeable future. I know I have only recently begun posting again, however I feel it is more important to commit myself to the task of finishing my re-edit of <u><em><strong>Heather's Journey: The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE</strong></em></u> and preparing that novel for the relaunch and promotion it deserves. I have said several times over the past year that I was committed to getting this done, and have unfortunately suffered various setbacks, the latest a case of some form of tendinitis or other which has more or less left me with the use of only eight fingers, which has made the task of writing this blog go from a three day task to a ten day one.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"><u><em><strong>The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE</strong></em></u> was my first published novel, and many of you know by now that I rushed it into publication a little overzealously, excited at the prospect of at long last being in print and available somewhere other than on a story submission site. I know, again, in a world where shit like <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> and its ilk are considered high art, that most of the things that are actually wrong with the novel most people are going to either miss or not care about. However, I am not most people, and I cannot just simply let it remain in the state that it is currently in forever. I pride myself on doing what is right and correct by my stories and characters in a world full of<em><strong> "fell out of bed and decided they were authors"</strong></em> writers who do not. I still hope to have this task done before the end of the year, however I still have at least two and a half read throughs to do as I am my own editor and it is a nearly 800 page manuscript.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I do keep mentioning the fact that I have to re-edit and relaunch this book, because I do make mistakes, and believe it or not, when I make them I actually do admit that I made them. There are some people, on the other hand, who will never admit to making a mistake. In fact there are those who get so big when they're called out on a mistake, and when I say mistake I mean they didn't do their homework on a fact, that they'll blow it off and say, "Well, oh, it was all in my own fiction Universe anyway. Fiddle-dee-dee-dee."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Let me tell you a little story about an anarchism. It's an anarchism which takes place in the Stephen King's 1994 novel <u><em><strong>Insomnia</strong></em></u>. (Yes, I do realize that blowing off people by saying you were writing in your own fictional Universe is actually King's bag. However...) It was <u><em><strong>Insomnia</strong></em></u> that gave me that first glimpse that the "King" of modern horror, was starting to slip. Now of course I know that not everyone rattles off a book and sends it right off to a publisher. Sometimes they'll write a few when they're super productive, stick them in "the vault", and then pull one or two out when they're feeling lazy and give them to their publisher so they can relax. (Oh, hey, I think King mentioned doing something similar to this in <u><em><strong>Bag Of Bones</strong></em></u>.) But, anyway <u><em><strong>Insomnia</strong></em></u> was supposedly set in contemporary times, the late 80's or early 90's, yet during the climax of the novel, little Patrick Danville (who I might add it turns out becomes a pivotal character in the fictional Universe of which Stephen King is not only the God of, but also a character in as well... and I'm not just talking 30 odd cameos in every other film based on his works either if you're uninformed, I mean literally this clown had the balls and unabashed EGOMANIA to write himself in as a VERY IMPORTANT character in his own novels) is drawing a picture of the Roland the Gunslinger on the back of a coloring sheet at the local McDonald's which prominently features Mayor McCheese.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Mayor McCheese???!!!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Okay, yes, for me reading this actually had the impact that the infamous tampon yanking scene from <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> has on any woman with good hygiene. As soon as I read, <span style="color: lime;"><strong>"Mayor McCheese"</strong></span><span style="color: orange;">, </span>I was like, Wait a minute. This kid wouldn't be drawing on the back of a picture of Mayor McCheese. The Kroft's sued McDonald's and won over him looking too much like H.R. Pufnstuf, and they hadn't used the character in years. BOOM! And from there I just could not enjoy the rest of the novel, despite the Dark Tower connection (which had I known what was coming would have foreshadowed even greater disappointment with King), and the fact that there was a cameo by Gage Creed's missing shoe.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now believe it or not I have ridden this little "error" of fact checking for YEARS! In fact I have pissed off many a hardcore Stephen King fan, and even <u><em><strong>Insomnia</strong></em></u> fans in particular, when they are discussing either him or the book, and their greatness, and then I decide to throw in a monkey wrench named Mayor McCheese. It has elicited the response of, <span style="color: lime;"><strong>"Stupid!" "Idiot!"</strong></span> and my all time favorite, <span style="color: lime;"><strong>"Stephen King is brilliant. MOTHER FUCKING BRILLIANT! He knows what he's talking about. Who gives a fuck about Mayor McCheese?"</strong></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, I do. Because, like I told Chrystian Marrero, a young man who idolizes King, once you enter a known fact, a time frame, or even a known location whether they
are used in a fictitious manner or not, and these elements are meant to enhance
the story, the author loses the right and ability to simply say, "Oh, it's all
in my made-up Universe."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">See Chrystian. I have absolutely no problem using that on<span style="color: yellow;"><em><strong> </strong></em><span style="color: orange;">"</span><em><strong>the master of horror and suspense known throughout the entire world as
Stephen King - the modern day master of English literature</strong></em></span><span style="color: orange;">" as well as using it on budding young authors. You're in good company, my young friend.</span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: large;"><strong>Mayor McCheese and Mayor H.R. Pufnstuf, separated at lawsuit.</strong></span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><br /><span style="background-color: black;">Yes, over the years I've had a grand time poking fun at the great Stephen King for letting Mayor McCheese slip past him, his editors and whatever fact checkers worked on <u><em><strong>Insomnia</strong></em></u>. And in the past year it's actually come up more and more often whenever there's a Pufnstuf related post that pops up on FaceBook. In fact the whole thing has been one of those little side tangent pieces of fodder that has just been waiting for the right story to come along so it can be referenced, so <u><em>Kroft vs. McDonald's</em></u> has always been in the vault as something for characters to potentially discuss in one of my stories.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;">Recently, however, there was a little pause in the fun. While chatting on LiveStream the subject of Mayor McCheese just so happened to come up out of the blue, which lead to a discussion with someone who claimed that I was all wrong about the <u><em>Kroft vs. McDonald's</em></u> lawsuit. She informed me that the Kroft's had been in with McDonald's from the beginning on the creation of the McDonald Land Characters, helped design and build them, and that the reason they sued McDonald's was that McDonald's did not abide by whatever deal they had made with the Krofts.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;">Well, being that this woman was a hardcore <em><strong>H.R. Pufnstuf</strong></em> fan and seemed to know her own stuff I didn't argue. On occasion, again, I have been known to be wrong, and I do occasionally possess incorrect information. I thanked her for the heads up and told her I would have to check into the subject further, and I did want to know, because this was something I had been thinking of writing about for years, and the idea of putting something out there and it turning out to be wrong (or worse maybe I have been just a wee bit too hard on old Steve for the past 18 years) was a little horrifying.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;">So first thing the next morning, within five minutes of being online, I was looking at the judgment in the case of <u><em>Kroft vs. McDonald's</em></u>. Not only was the judgement recorded, but there was also a breakdown and timeline of the entire case. I'm not going to bore you with all the details, instead I'll provide you with the link so you can see for yourself, but basically Sid and Marty Kroft NEVER had a deal with McDonald's. McDonald's can still, of course, use "their" characters, however they have pretty much been in retirement, according to various websites, and according to my research, would have surely have been inactive during whatever time that Stephen King's <u><em><strong>Insomnia</strong></em></u> covered.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: large;"><strong>R.I.P. Mayor McCheese (Oh, NO!)</strong></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black;">Follow this link to see the final judgement and court records in the case of <u><em>Kroft vs. McDonald's</em></u>:</span><br />
<a href="http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=16740683432222862864&hl=en&as_sdt=2&as_vis=1&oi=scholarr" target="_blank"><span style="color: yellow;"><strong>Sid and Marty Kroft Entertainment vs. McDonald's Corporation</strong></span></a><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;">Now, of course you know I was as humble about my victory as circumstances would allow. I sat in my chair and did the "In Your Face" Dance. The current House Of Master Vyle "In Your Face" Dance is <em><strong>Gangnam Style</strong></em>. If you're not familiar with PSY's <em><strong>Gangnam Style</strong></em> I have provided the video.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;">Well, it's quite possible that I covered it all and more with this blog post. I have that feeling that many of you have wet faces, wet keyboards, and quite possibly wet underwear. I said near the beginning of this post that I like to make people laugh, when I am making them laugh on my own terms. That is, after all, why I am the creator of the humorous prostitution erotica genre. It may be too late now, but<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="color: cyan;"> House Of Master Vyle is not responsible for ruined keyboards, sticky monitors, soiled panties, or asthma attacks</span></strong>.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;">If you didn't appreciate my biting sense of humor, because it does have teeth, and they are sharp, <strong><span style="color: lime;">fill free</span></strong> to comment. Yes, U R famous...LOL is pretty much expected.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;">See you after vyle!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;"><strong>Master Vyle</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"></span><br />Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-33394790099001496512012-09-15T16:18:00.000-07:002012-09-15T16:18:03.176-07:00Review: Fifty Shades Of Gravy by Jenny Ric<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIdBm-jnXNu1sk29Ry826h2ed7HCJ3b5YyK9qkg3MWoPaWZUyjwPe3aOvNMcletjvMryydrGxRiPYeCTI4NlWCDObYFFtr78OiTJTIEd7PMwuxZ9-gwMIGWhGgKZqxSW02gMvWI1gmsrZU/s1600/Of+Gravy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIdBm-jnXNu1sk29Ry826h2ed7HCJ3b5YyK9qkg3MWoPaWZUyjwPe3aOvNMcletjvMryydrGxRiPYeCTI4NlWCDObYFFtr78OiTJTIEd7PMwuxZ9-gwMIGWhGgKZqxSW02gMvWI1gmsrZU/s400/Of+Gravy.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Our next review from "<strong>Fifty Shades Parody Land</strong>" comes in the form of <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Gravy</strong></em> by Jenny Ric, and it's hilarious, or my name isn't Michael C. Laney. In this send-up Ric treats up to a slight mash-up of <u><em><strong>Twilight</strong></em></u> and <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> set in a culinary school, where the dumb and ditzy Vanessa Biscuits falls under the spell of Chef Grey. Ric's versions of Leonard's versions of Meyer's characters are spot on, and are sure to make you laugh until you cry, or wet yourself, or both.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Ric has Vanessa deliver such Anastasia Steelesque inner dialogue as:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"><strong>"I never acknowledge anything below my waist except when I am forced to tie my shoes. I suppose I go to the bathroom sometimes, but I block that out lest my ardor become inflamed."</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">And:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"><strong>"I love emails, but I don't have a computer in my house because I inexplicably have the sensibilities and understanding of the world of a fifty year old woman."</strong></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">And if course:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"><strong>"We have only known one another for 45 seconds, but I can see in his eyes that he desires me as much as I desire him."</strong></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The best however comes after the story's gravy dripping climax, but it is so laugh out loud funny that you have to read it for yourself to appreciate it. It's a witty and quick little read, and well worth Five Stars. Thus far this story seems to be the one and only thing that Jenny Ric has ever published, however I am looking forward to more as it would be great to see what sort of original fiction her mind is capable of producing.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">You can get your copy of <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Gravy</strong></em> by Jenny Ric from Amazon for Kindle:</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-of-Gravy-ebook/dp/B00820LRAC" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>Amazon</strong></span></a><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Check out this great little read, but be careful not to make your own pant gravy. Hhehehehehehe.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">See you after vyle!</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifjp3L7RE-o6hx1cBLGWLdTvisMgnXirhs3ECfDm9S_eLzOCCepOL008W1PwCGUQBxEq9fBvqJqvrS1IHeNPnGcinX37UMszVu-_D5UTOP7_01cqx8UmKqsqPmgbfP-r0a2NgV7acBWGaW/s1600/A+MV+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifjp3L7RE-o6hx1cBLGWLdTvisMgnXirhs3ECfDm9S_eLzOCCepOL008W1PwCGUQBxEq9fBvqJqvrS1IHeNPnGcinX37UMszVu-_D5UTOP7_01cqx8UmKqsqPmgbfP-r0a2NgV7acBWGaW/s1600/A+MV+1.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;"><strong>Master Vyle</strong></span></td></tr>
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Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-23285937118572929512012-09-15T15:23:00.001-07:002012-09-15T15:23:54.262-07:00Review: Fifty Shades Of Grey And Zombies by Grey West<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFVW9KCtNTnrvc37q4CWTbz1fNaDaMEQw7GTD84FEw3mH6IwhIKx3Ix4wWZSoJBrcWwMgGpwnl2DTEc2G8mh8ouEy7OrlktW6_HLHd3XLltLKycr9LcencDsiPzgdZwel8pLLsVxN83AFq/s1600/Of+Zombies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFVW9KCtNTnrvc37q4CWTbz1fNaDaMEQw7GTD84FEw3mH6IwhIKx3Ix4wWZSoJBrcWwMgGpwnl2DTEc2G8mh8ouEy7OrlktW6_HLHd3XLltLKycr9LcencDsiPzgdZwel8pLLsVxN83AFq/s400/Of+Zombies.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Greetings fright fans, fiends, freaks, perverts and sickos, this next review is one of a pair that comes from "<strong>Fifty Shades Parody Land</strong>", and yes there are dozens upon dozens of them, and if the ones I have read so far are any indication I am inclined to agree with the reviews and speculate that a majority of them are actually written better than Leonard's books themselves (as if that is a hard feat). This short story parody, <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey And Zombies</strong></em>, comes to us from Grey West, a budding author in the field of "mash-up" fiction, where history and/or classic fiction meets horror (usually zombies). And no, unlike Warren Murphy, West did not choose a new pseudonym just for the purpose of bashing Erika James Leonard as the Grey was already there, poor soul.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">In this little send-up Christian Steel (C S for short, no little periods in between because he doesn't like them), braves zombie hordes to interview Mr. Grey West, a parody of the first segment of <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u>, replacing his now zombified roommate, Nick Navanaugh, in the hopes of exposing West as the man who unleashed the zombie plague on humanity. Yes, the villain is named Grey West, the same as the author, which as you will see in my forthcoming post <strong><em>I'll Accept "Retardeder" As A Word Because I'm From Florida, or Her Teeth The Same Color As Her Shirt (At Least The Yellow Part Of It)</em></strong> is something I usually have an issue with, however since this is a parody and it is so well done I have no problem letting that pet peeve slide in West's case.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">This short story is hilarious from pretty much beginning to end. West not only takes delight in poking fun at <u><em><strong>Twilight</strong></em></u>, <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u>, E.L. James and fan fiction in general, but he also takes pot shots at his own field of mash-up fiction, <u><em><strong>Pride And Prejudice And Zombies</strong></em></u> in particular. West's narrative is funny, witty and downright hilarious, and as great parody writers go he ranks right up there with Mel Brooks and Aussiescribbler. This isn't one for the weak or simple minded, it's actually thinking man's fiction and that's why I give it a solid Six Stars. West has fun all the way, never taking himself seriously, which I love in an author, and he even includes a parody review section at the beginning of the work, which also appears on the Amazon listing.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Perhaps the best part of this little story comes near the end when Steel and West enter West's Red Room of... Of...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Hhehehehehehehe. I can't tell you because it's so funny I do not want to spoil it.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Thus far <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey And Zombies</strong></em> has not been given a major review, and it seems to be passed over in favor of West's <strong>Double Barrel</strong> zombie series which has gotten high praise and generated a lot of interest on Amazon.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">You can get your copy of <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey And Zombies</strong></em> by Grey West for Kindle from Amazon:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-Grey-Zombies-ebook/dp/B0085FFWK0" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>Amazon</strong></span></a><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">You can also learn more about Grey West, his <strong>Double Barrel</strong> series and his other works on his website:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<a href="http://authorgreywest.com/" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>Author Grey West</strong></span></a><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">If West's zombie fiction is even as half as good as this parody, and judging from the reviews it is every bit as good if not better, then he is definitely an author to watch. The first "Episode" of<strong> Double Barrel</strong> is available on his site for free download in various eReader formats, and I would say you would have nothing to lose by giving it a shot.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">See you after vyle!</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigTf5qVy3Ki5h5SubpsxCYx9C2N-aFZ4puUvdJ87vDAcnEJi99XsJjLg7vr62BkOd_exB5X8qZYyZcYDrGl5MsRJ-LzyXmLlqWj-kiJ6SH0-ho1hUGZFbEFHw-PZ6btivQTPkgnacJe6Sv/s1600/A+MV+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigTf5qVy3Ki5h5SubpsxCYx9C2N-aFZ4puUvdJ87vDAcnEJi99XsJjLg7vr62BkOd_exB5X8qZYyZcYDrGl5MsRJ-LzyXmLlqWj-kiJ6SH0-ho1hUGZFbEFHw-PZ6btivQTPkgnacJe6Sv/s200/A+MV+2.jpg" width="129" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;"><strong>Master Vyle</strong></span></td></tr>
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Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-68370023796191307402012-09-14T11:13:00.000-07:002012-09-14T11:13:03.220-07:00Review: Fifty Shades Of Stupid by Poupon Grey<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF7KgMHGwI2hack60bHEtVoWwYcTm9agq9Y9H6y1a-6zsTvkiL5d2k0E6Oz1t0vyUMOB_c_FCmpNhGiIYZLkppBBCaevQyNMAnK6DscX7IyjH9d6JVFsCrC-CdNkRPzbjA2M_aeSETf96l/s1600/Of+Stupid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF7KgMHGwI2hack60bHEtVoWwYcTm9agq9Y9H6y1a-6zsTvkiL5d2k0E6Oz1t0vyUMOB_c_FCmpNhGiIYZLkppBBCaevQyNMAnK6DscX7IyjH9d6JVFsCrC-CdNkRPzbjA2M_aeSETf96l/s400/Of+Stupid.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Pardon me, do you have any Poupon Grey? From thoughtful essay to through skewering this next review takes a look at <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Stupid: The Real Man's Guide To The World's Stupidest Book</strong></em> by Poupon Grey. If you've read my review for <em><strong>A Million Shades Of Green: The Real Story Behind Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em> then you already know that that essay was actually written by an action-thriller author, Sean Black. The funny thing is this essay/review is written by another author who usually writes "A Man's Man" type of stories, for you see "Poupon Grey" is actually a pseudonym (chosen exclusively to skewer <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> with) being used by one Warren Murphy. If you have no clue who he is Warren Murphy is the co-author and creator of the long running <strong>Destroyer</strong> book series, and its rough and rugged central hero Remo Williams. (And that would be the Remo Williams in the books and not the sad adaptation that made it to the screen.)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">To say that I immensely enjoyed this little piece would be an understatement. Grey/Murphy takes trashing Leonard and her book and makes it into an art form. The only thing I can say that I hated about it was that it was too short, and I can only but hope that someday Murphy will be brave enough to trudge through <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Darker</strong></em></u> and <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Freed</strong></em></u> and then resurrect Poupon Grey twice more to give them what they deserve.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Grey/Murphy provides such hilarious observations as:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"><strong>"To get a better sense of the book, it might be better to read one page of it while vomiting and sticking a fork in your eye, because <u><em>Fifty Shades</em></u> is, quite possibly, the worst-written book you're ever likely to find, even in the dismal, dumb, unliterary world of porno fiction."</strong></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">And when commenting on Christian Grey's life aside from bondage, as in how Leonard never really indicates exactly what he does at his multi-bazillion dollar conglomerate, Murphy speculates that:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"><strong>"It would seem, therefore, that E.L. James' research and preparation for writing this book consisted of only one thing, daydreaming about the characters in the book <u><em>Twilight</em></u>."</strong></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">LMMFAO!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Best of all, however, is when he turns his attention to that area that scares us all, Anastasia Steele's massive whisker biscuit:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: lime;"><strong>"There is a lot of mention of Ana's pubic hair. When given the image of a college senior, who's a virgin, sporting a massive bush, we think of an awkward, hideous, greaseball with zero social skills and no friends. You know, a young sex author in training."</strong></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Wait a minute, was he describing Anastasia Steele, or young Erika Leonard with that statement?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">LMMFAO!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Despite the fact that this is such a short work it is well worth the $0.99 price, and believe me I haven't even scratched the surface because Fifty Shades Of Stupid is hilarious from start to finish. Mr. Murphy, I salute you, and I give this little essay Six Stars, and believe me it's worth every one.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Here is where you can get your copy of <em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Stupid: The Real Man's Guide To The World's Stupidest Book</strong></em>:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"></span><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-of-Stupid-ebook/dp/B00868IJ42" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>Amazon</strong></span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/fifty-shades-of-stupid-poup-oacute-n-grey/1111178194" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>Barnes & Noble</strong></span></a><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Be sure to check this one out, and keep a clean pair of underwear handy (and no it won't be because your "Inner Goddess" is weeping with joy either. Hhehehehehehehe.)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">See you after vyle!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;"><strong>Master Vyle</strong></span></td></tr>
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Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-39484553970148079402012-09-14T09:59:00.001-07:002012-09-14T10:07:59.240-07:00Review: A Million Shades Of Green by Sean Black<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-0F3a67i6INyljLZasmk6lC07X8AN-o4-CH4z6DqnaXUKF_JfRULYFnzCbXYIOi8kneadmnRdr2Xlz3-WMrGQksQDtNkc3gyeflOghdK5q2jmyCCRffs_LlbFwAWepypSs48aQQulrKIc/s1600/Of+Green.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-0F3a67i6INyljLZasmk6lC07X8AN-o4-CH4z6DqnaXUKF_JfRULYFnzCbXYIOi8kneadmnRdr2Xlz3-WMrGQksQDtNkc3gyeflOghdK5q2jmyCCRffs_LlbFwAWepypSs48aQQulrKIc/s400/Of+Green.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well fright fans, fiends, freaks, perverts and sickos, I know it's been a while since I've done a review, and this first one up is somewhat far from the normal fare reviewed here, however it does fit with the theme of the next few reviews to come. Instead of a book, short story or collection this time up it is an essay <em><strong>A Million Shades Of Green: The Real Story Behind Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em> by Sean Black. I had initially expected this to be an unfair skewering of my least favorite book and author, however Black, whose own normal forte is action thrillers, composes a very well written, researched and thoughtful piece.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">In this essay Black goes back and delves into the origins of the "book", fan fiction (what it is, why people write it and how several "legitimate" authors feel about the subject), and probes into some of the questions surrounding "pulled" fan-fics and what sort of trends may follow. It's a quick and easy read, and I think written on a level that a majority of people not involved in the worlds of writing and publishing can understand. Black does an excellent job with the subject matter within the span of 25 or so pages, and I feel he does his best to take a thoughtful look at the <strong>Fifty Shades</strong> phenomenon. Although I did not agree with all of his ideas in regard to "pulled" fan fiction Black still delivers a very well written essay, and that alone is enough to make me wonder what his own fictional works are like.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Perhaps the main drawback to this little essay is that it is somewhat dated, initially written within the first few months of <u><em><strong>Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> taking off. However, even in that Black delivered a little piece of humor in an otherwise serious and thoughtful piece, when he mentions Anne Rice and her abject hatred of fan fiction. Of course you remember her, maybe. she was big a long time ago until one of her books was made into a movie and it bombed because it didn't have Tom Cruise in it. If you don't I'll remind you that just a few months ago that she was praising E.L. James (a huge writer of fan fiction... I'll leave whether that was a pun or not up to you), coincidentally just in time for the re-issuing of her erotic <em><strong>"Sleeping Beauty"</strong></em> series.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, Anne Rice, it's safe to say I think you can pretty much go fuck yourself, and back into that little hovel you've been in down in New Orleans since 2002, churning out shit your true fans keep buying only because it has your name on the cover.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, the irony! If only Erika had picked Lestat de Lioncourt instead of Edward Cullen. Then <em><strong>"<u>Master Of The Damned</u>"</strong></em> would have never seen the light of day. Hhehehehehehehehe. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">But anyway, I'm getting away from Black's essay, which, again even if it is slightly dated, is a great little read, and that's why I'm giving it Five Stars. The essay itself has been pretty much ignored on Barnes & Noble and has mixed reviews on Amazon, though reading most of the negative reviews on Amazon it becomes apparent that a majority of those who hated the essay did not even bother to read it, as they accused him of attacking Leonard, which he did not, as he took a fairly neutral and thoughtful look at the entire picture.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">P.S. - Bunker Bitches, attacking Erika Leonard and her shitty pieces of fan fiction is my thing.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Here is where you can get your copy of <em><strong>A Million Shades Of Green: The Real Story Behind Fifty Shades Of Grey</strong></em>:</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Million-Shades-Green-Behind-ebook/dp/B007O5WVDS" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>Amazon</strong></span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-million-shades-of-green-sean-black/1111652080" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>Barnes & Noble</strong></span></a><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Be sure to give this little essay a read, as it is well worth the price.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">See you after vyle!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;"><strong>Master Vyle</strong></span></td></tr>
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Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-10855242846644558592012-09-12T14:14:00.000-07:002012-09-12T14:14:12.788-07:00Released: House Of Master Vyle MiniSode 2: Yeah, The First One Deserved A Sequel<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well fright fans, fiends, freaks, perverts and sickos, the first one was so fun I decided to do another, and it's even longer. Hhehehehehehehe. Two videos leading up to a written blog post? Well just watch and it will become apparent why I write and do not publicly speak. However, it's still better than the guy in his comic book store (a.k.a. HIS MOM'S BASEMENT), holding the wiggly dog as he fumbled for 20 minutes to say two sentences about <em><strong>Power Rangers: SUPER MegaForce</strong></em>.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">More laughs ahead, even a sad one for me as a tongue fumble during the "Corrections" section makes Doctor Paul Bearer Day (October 30), sound as if it takes place on Halloween (October 31).</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, again, it is why I write.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">So, enjoy this second treat for the eyes and ears, such as it is, and look forward to the release of the actual post on Monday, September 17, 2012.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Why all the fuss?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, once you get to near the end of the post you'll know why I've put to much into it.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">See you after vyle!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;"><strong>Master Vyle</strong></span></td></tr>
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Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-85035288565010029732012-08-31T09:19:00.000-07:002012-08-31T09:19:22.696-07:00Released: House Of Master Vyle MiniSode 1<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Greetings fright fans, fiends, freaks, perverts and sickos. In anticipation for my upcoming blog post, <span style="color: cyan;"><strong>I'll Accept "Retardeder" As A Word Because I'm From Florida, or Her Teeth Were The Same Color As Her Shirt (At Least The Yellow Part)</strong></span><span style="color: orange;">, </span>I have offically released the very first "MiniSode" episode of <strong><em>House Of Master Vyle, Preview Of Coming Distractions</em></strong>. Think of it as a little eye and ear candy. Hhehehehehehe.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Enjoy, and I will see you after vyle.</span><br />
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Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-38834233631335036322012-08-07T20:50:00.000-07:002012-08-07T20:50:21.622-07:00EGOMANIA Still Runnin' Wild, BROTHER!: How Michael C. Laney Became A "Liberated" Author<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">This morning I woke up and brushed my teeth. I then brushed my pretty, bottle blond hair, parting and styling it like the late, great, Dr. Paul Bearer. I adjusted my more than generous man titties under my, oh so manly, man shirt. Had a healthy dose of steroids for breakfast. Did my trainin' (or in other words emulated the "training" most of the rest of you do by reading what was posted on FaceBook). Then I got down on my broken down old knees and said my prayers to the man upstairs... Jeff Bezos. Why Jeff? Well because Jeff claims his company, one I am sure plenty of my fellow EGOMANIACS reading this believe they peripherally work for, Amazon, owns the Internet. Funny, I actually always thought that Google owned the Internet, or das FaceBooken, or at the very least Henry van Statten, you remember, the guy who was revealed to own the Internet on the <em><strong>"Dalek"</strong></em> episode of <em><strong>Doctor Who</strong></em> back in 2005. Hhehehehehehe.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, yeah, BROTHER! If you haven't gathered from the posts on das Booken over the past few days, or the tweets, EGOMANIA is alive and well, and still runnin' wild! And oh, yeah, Master Vyle's EGOMANIA ego, is still bigger than the biggest, hugest, mega-sized Yahoo Messenger Internet penis you never saw. The little caskets beside both Long Dong and Long Dan Silver (not relation), just rolled over in shame and envy.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, and speaking of rolling over in shame and envy, I think there's a good chance of a lot of people doing that after they read this. The why to this is quite simple really: I'm Michael C. Laney, and I say and do all the shit that all the rest of you little ass sniffers are scared to say and do because...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">ONE: Michael C. Laney/Master Vyle truly is the Last Free Radical, and therefore is not scared to say shit!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">TWO: Michael C. Laney/Master Vyle is not motivated by money because he is actually a writer.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I am very sure most people are familiar with Number One, and I'll be going into Number Two more and more as this post continues.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"><strong><span style="color: red;">CAUTION: IF YOUR EGO BRUISES EASILY, YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR, OR YOU GET VERY EASILY PISSED OFF, MY ADVICE WOULD BE TO STOP READING RIGHT ABOUT RIGHT NOW!</span></strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">It was a little over a week ago that I made the announcement that I would no longer label myself as an independent author or writer, but rather as a liberated author. Now, the idea was not to create some new label for myself or others, but more to actually make the statement, that though for the longest time I had embraced that distinction of being independent I had made the decision to no longer be associated with the INDEPENDENT AUTHOR title. In fact it's pretty much always been author and the label has been an identifier to help others who needed that, and now, in the future, if someone <em><strong>just has</strong></em> to call me something other than <em><strong>just author</strong></em> I'll say, just throw on liberated, because I am. More and more independent author is becoming code for "shit" and since, of course, now that the name of Erika "E.L. snowqueensicedragon James" Leonard will be forever be associated with the term independent author who in their right mind would want that label hung on them?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Okay, gonna pause. I know some of my EGOMANIACS are sitting there and scratching their heads. What? But we want to be just like E.L. James, the most successful writer on Earth.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Bitch, please! I'll get to "Snowjob Icedragon" in a little bit.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Pictured above is a yellowed and nasty manuscript I've shown off before. This is what's called an unpublished novel. I have several of these, as well as several short stories and poems; in similar binders, in notebooks, in manila folders, in word files, hell even on floppy friggin' diskettes. The point I'm trying to illustrate with my manuscript the size of a New York City phone book, EGOMANIACS? Again, I am a writer, and it is what I was born to do. That said I'm not one of almost every "independent author" who says in their bio, "I've been writing as long as I can remember", or "I've been writing since I was a little kid", or "I've been telling and writing stories since before I stared school."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">When I see such statements usually the first thing I think is, LIAR! What a fucking LIAR!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Been writing since before you started school? Well it shows, because it's painfully apparent that most of these "writers" haven't learned a damn thing about writing since they started writing, waaaayyyyy back before they ever started going to school. And oh the horror of the Online Publishing Age, because now Mom and Dad can jot down Little Billy or Little Suzie's drivel and send it to, OH YEAH, Amazon! Let's see the requirements to publish a Kindle book still are that it has to be in a PRC-MOBI file and that it has to have WORDS in it right? Well, of fucking course that's all there is to it, which is how so many of these <strong>neat-o-keen</strong>, super awesome books by these independent authors who have been writing stories since pre-Kindergarten and not evolving a single damn step from day one in their writing ability get published. WOOOOH! You're welcome for me having the time and balls to point that one out to you my EGOMANIACS!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Been writing since you were a little kid? Nothing worthwhile. Because before you can learn write well the first thing you have to do it learn to listen well, as well as learning how to observe the world around you. You see, yes, I'll admit, I did write little things, did little picture stories "proto-stories" when I was young. However, that is part of evolving as a writer and not actually being a writer. Yet, were I to listen to the 99% (meaning the git me some fast money gigglers and droolers) of the independent writing scene, I'm apparently doing it all backwards. To move ahead and be on track, EGOMANIACS, what I would need to do would be to dig up the <em><strong>Hong Kong Phooey</strong></em> fan fiction I wrote back in Kindergarten, just change the names of the characters, and send that bitch on to Amazon and Barnes & Noble.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><strong>(PLEASE, WAIT FOR IT! MY FEELINGS ON FAN FICTION AND SNOWJOB ICEDRAGON STILL TO COME!...)</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, that ain't happening, again, because I AM A WRITER and it is WHAT I WAS BORN TO DO. I didn't just wake up one day and fall out of bed and say to myself, "Hey, writing books. That's easy money. I can sit on my ass and do that." I wasn't sitting on some erotica story submission site one day, torn between reading some poorly written piece of shit and hovering my mouse over to go to the <em><strong>Dare Dorm</strong></em> to check out "Hot (Yet Barely Legal) Co-Ed Action", when another link caught my eye that said, "Hey, why just stroke to shitty stories on our site when you can submit them too?!!" I wasn't some Edward Cullen fangirl who was unsatisfied with her old man and started submitting her poorly written sex fantasies to FanFiction.Net until they ran me and my ripped off <strong>Mortal Kombat</strong> logo off crying like a little bitch because their rules forbade "porn", started my own site to keep writing my "inner goddess" clit diddle fantasies and then decide, "Hey, I got a book here. I should publish it and make money."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">NO. Again, I am a writer, and this is what I was born to do. I'm published because it was my dream to be published, not to make a mountain of filthy dirty, quick money. People buy my stories because people want to read my stories, not because I got down and joined the Mutual Brown Nose And Chin Society. You know how many people "Like" my Amazon Author Page other than myself? Freakin' ZERO! Not a complaint, a fact, and it can stay that way forever because I would feel a lot better if no one liked it than if I went around soliciting all my "friends" and "buddies" to like it. My writing style can be pretty no frills and bare boned, and I do my best to give it to you straight, so I like it back just as straight. I can smell the difference between comments and reviews, and that I believe I have established at length. And when the time comes and there are actual reviews on my work on the major sites, I'm ready for honest reviews. I love honest reviews, I give them, yet that said I have never expected anyone to ever turn around and give me a review I didn't deserve just to give me a review or "return a favor." I don't do favors, and I don't ask for them.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, I know the 99% are probably rolling their eyes and thinking, This guy is totally ass-backward. Yeah, that would be the point, idiots. If I am to be a megabuckmiester someday, again, a membership in the Mutual Brown Nose And Chin Society or the Hyper-Hype Circus won't have anything to do with it, my EGOMANIACS!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I still and will probably always credit Jason Darrick with giving me the most honest review ever. Jason had no problem at all saying what he didn't like about the first edition <u><em><strong>A Letter To Doctor Freudstein - Demoni - And Ten Poems</strong></em></u>. Not only was his review fair and neutral, but he also didn't give it a perfect rating, and that was from a guy who the book was co-dedicated to. That, my EGOMANIACS, is the mark of someone acting as a real writer and reviewer.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Again, I know the head scratchers within that 99% are saying, well if you're so great, where's all your stuff? We have ten times as many things published as, ~huff~ Michael C. Laney.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Hhehehehehehehehehehehe! LMMFAO!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I point back up to all those statements alluding to the fact that I'm a real writer. Yes, I maybe, just might be, maybe possibly ruffling some feathers here. Hell, I may even sound like Postie the PostMan, James Robert Smith himself right now, but that's okay, because James Robert Smith couldn't write himself out of a wet paper bag with a freakin' razor blade! But you see, what the 99% of the giggling and drooling, money grubbing idiots in the independent author world, and when I say 99% of the giggling and drooling, money grubbing idiots in the independent author world I mean James Robert Smith included, fail to realize are that actual authors and/or writers believe in a little thing called quality. Quality over quantity. It means a lot to me, but that isn't to say I haven't made mistakes. However, as a REAL or FOR REAL author I am actually taking the day off of correcting one of those major mistakes made with an 800 page manuscript to do this.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Am I scared that every day that mistake is not corrected that someone is going to have fodder to deliver me a dreaded horrible rating and review?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Again, bitch please. As much as Postie the PostMan has attacked independent writers that bitch has a Four Star rating on all his works. (All two of them.) Why? Simple. You're all scared. You're all scared to answer back and give a truthful and honest review, one other than the ones he has from friends, what he in fact accuses you of doing on a daily basis, that the finger will be turned back on you, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, he's right in your case and you'll be exposed for the hack that you, like him, probably are.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Where's my review of <u><em><strong>The Flock</strong></em></u> and <u><em><strong>50 Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u>, you're asking, EGOMANIACS?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I do assure you they're in the que. But the thing is, again, I'm a real writer, and pretty much at the moment I have been occupied with doing what it is that I do. WRITING BOOKS!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now, of course, since I was born to write, and I am getting pretty old, 40 (yes, I was born in the backward and arcane 20th Century), I had another dream. I used to dream of going into the library and walking amongst the rows, and looking and having the ability to find one of my books. Ah, libraries. You know what those are 99%ers? They're great repositories of knowledge. When books get published, even now "eBooks", they tend to end up in them. You go to this place, this library or virtual library-like thing, and instead of buying a book you get to borrow it from that library, or virtual library-like thing, for something like 14 days. You read it, then you take it back. Now sometimes they have names like the Library of Congress, or the New York Metropolitan Library. Then other times they have stranger names in the Digital Age of the 21st Century, names like Lendink.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">~HUGE SOUND EFFECT OF A RECORD BEING SCRATCHED~</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><strong>SHARPEN YOUR PITCHFORKS AND LIGHT YOUR TORCHES NOW, BITCHES! BECAUSE IF I HAVEN'T PISSED YOU OFF YET YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE!</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, what joyous fate that I decided to dump the title of "independent author" just days before the independent writing world discovered Lendink, a nearly two year old eBook lending facilitator which allowed people who owned eBooks to lend copies of them to their friends. Yes, I have much enjoyed the moronic circus which ensued once the Hounds Of Iniquity started baying," AROOOOOO! They've stolen our shit! AROOOOOO! We have to shut this site down! AROOOOOO! ALL YOU LEMMINGS FILE DMCA NOTICES RIGHT NOW! AROOOO! Better check to see if your work is there!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, I have laughed. And laughed. And LAUGHED to the point I've nearly pissed myself over this. In the beginning because, Number One: Lendink never actually "had their shit." Yes, not a damn indie author screaming for Lendink's blood even had a clue how it worked. I also, <span style="font-size: large;">AND FREAKIN' TADA BITCHES</span>, doubt they are aware of an article that came out in May titled <strong>50 Book Lending Sites Similar To Lendink</strong>. (Again, please excuse me, LMMFAO!)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The other reason I've had such a good laugh over this was that at the end of July Lendink posted a letter "from Amazon", sadly announcing an end to their partnership, due to recent changes in California law (California being where Lendink was based) in regard to digital file sharing, because, not of the content, but to ensure that people's "intellectual property rights" were being protected. Now regardless of any expired site certificates, or "shady" dealings by Lendink, or whether or not the letter from Amazon was bogus or not it was pretty much effectively impotent to conduct further business as a file sharer due to the wording in the law. And oh, by the way, great job on that law people out to protect your vaunted intellectual property rights, kind of screwed yourselves on that one in the long run.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">So what does that mean?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, here's where all the almost pissing myself laughing comes in. Lendink was pretty much, you could say, in the process of probably looking for something else to do. It's owner, who yes, also sells this and that and other stuff, was no doubt just letting the site shut itself down. THREE FRIGGIN' WEEKS AGO. Now, on a side note, before I continue, let me add that one of the first people I actually saw screaming, "Oh, no this site is stealing our books," I found attached to an actual "Book Pirate" site when I went to that site to file legitimate DMCA notices because they did have my files on their site illegally with a huge, So And So "Likes" this site by his name. But back to the comedy, the utter piss myself joy I've had watching the indie author lemmings gathering around the cold and unmarked corpse of Lendink with their clean and shiny swords screaming, "VICTORY! WE DID IT! WE SLAYED THE BEASTIE! WE WON FOR INDIE WRITERS EVERYWHERE!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yeah, well guess what. If getting about 100 DMCA Notices within a 72 hour period was enough to shut down a site, then Amazon, that company a lot of you EGOMANICAS somehow actually believe you work for, would have been out of business years ago. DUUUUUHHH-FUCKIN-HU!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">(And just a side note, there are some who say that Lendink isn't as dead as you think! Hhehehehehe.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now-zers. Let's get to "Big River" and if they did or didn't have an arrangement with Lendink. Well, I've seen the letters from Amazon. You know, the typical Amazon form letters, no doubt sent by some low level jaborni who just wants to shut up the quacking of independent authors, and in the end has no fucking clue what's going on either way. You see, yes, at the time those responses came from Amazon they didn't have an agreement with Lendink. However, if you search back through the archives, there are several people on Amazon's Forums also screaming about the Lendink witch hunt, because they are pointing out over and over that Amazon was in a partnership with Lendink.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Were they, or weren't they?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Let's see. If Amazon actually had a partnership with Lendink and it did sever it somewhere along the lines of three weeks ago that would mean that, at the time the 99% began flooding Amazon with letters sniffling about some site stealing their shit (and by the way Amazon is a multi-billion dollar conglomerate that's doing quite well, and in the end does not give one fucking shit coated kernel of corn if some website in California is ripping you off or not), they actually didn't have, or wouldn't have had an agreement with Lendink. Das Jabroni at his/her desk who only exist to answer your whining plugs the information into the form letter response e-mail at their work station, and like 99% of the 99% can't be bothered to do further research into if Lendink ever actually had an agreement with Amazon at any point, and sends you the letter in the hopes of shutting you up so they can go back to playing Spider Solitaire. Two words, bitches, PLAUSIBLE DENIAL. Never mind the fact that if there was something of any real concern (and when I say something of real concern I mean something of real concern, to Amazon), you can bet that Bezos (and probably Romana) would have come down from on high and issued (or had another low level jabroni issue) a statement.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well why wouldn't they address this problem? What? Haven't you been reading?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Okay, here let me put it in these terms. Like so many huge ass, multi-bazillion dollar conglomerates Amazon outsources stuff it doesn't want to deal with by either investing the money or man power to deal with. Oh, what to compare this to so the 99% would understand... OH, YEAH! SMASHWORDS! Smashwords and most other fly-by night eBook sellers cut overhead by not having an accounting department. They let PayPal take care of all of that. And that all works out pretty good, except for the whole PayPal and eBay deciding to dictate what is morally acceptable in print whenever they so choose for every retailer on Earth. Mmmmm... except eBay.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Taking a pause to look at my watch. Oh, yeah. I'm still waiting for that "victory" from earlier in the year to come back and bite all of you in the asses. And when it happens, yes, that picture of Hitler wearing a PayPal logo is going back up with a huge I TOLD YOU SO on it, and that will be all I have to say about that. (At least that's all I will have to say about it on the first day of the Second Great PayPal Purge.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, of course I could just go on forever about eBook lending. Maybe it's best to simply say, Hey, thanks, like you self-back patters are expecting everyone to do. Thanks for saving us all from a dying eBook lending site. WOOHOOO! One down 49 to go! So what's next? Going after the "real" libraries? WOOOHOOO! Do the Romans proud why don't you?! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Now again I'm sure there are some people who do not know my history thinking, well this guy doesn't care at all about intellectual property rights.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, just go back through the archives of this blog and you'll see it's what actually let me to eBook publishing in the first place. ASS-BACKWARD? Yeah, one of my works was plagiarized and sold on Amazon, defender of my intellectual property rights, who earlier this year accused me of plagiarizing my own works and demanded I remove them from their site. I mention this because Amazon is a huge corporation, and having worked for a few huge corporations in my past I can tell you they're filled with low level functionaries and jabronis who either don't know, or have no clue what is going on from one area to the next, therefore, whether Amazon ever had a partnership with Lendink or not, ever, they'll never tell you, because they will never be able to figure out whether they had an agreement with Lendink or not.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">And by the way how many of you EGOMANIACS know how eBook lending works? Well apparently not too many; as the first clue you would have had before burning the "lenders" to the ground would be to know that Person A has to have a copy of Book B, and that Person C actually wants to borrow that book, and then Person A has to be willing to lend it for 14 days to Person C, or whatever. Complicated? Here, I'll let my old friend Spider-Fangire explain it to you.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: large;">HHEEE-Hhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, I'm sorry. Apparently he only brought his duck puppet and didn't bring any crayons. I suppose you might have to actually get off your lazy asses and break down and research something for a change, other than where to get a copy of a DMCA Notice. Sorry, I'm pretty fuckin' generous, but I ain't doing it all for you.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I know by now several people are shaking their heads. They think I have no clue what I'm talking about. They think I may even be insensitive to several authors who were, sort of, swept up in the whole Lendink scandal and accused of being book pirates themselves. For a writer who actually works hard at their craft being accused of plagiarism or piracy is an awful thing, however with 99% of the so called indie scene filled with money grubbing gigglers and droolers concerned with their intellectual property rights, or at least the perceived intellectual property rights of the members of their chapter of the Mutual Brown Nose And Chin Society, this is going to happen more and more often. Instead of writing, actually ever doing any writing, they're more concerned with Witch Hunting. Again, all the research one needs to begin a Witch Hunt is for someone to make the wrong post on FaceBook, because, of course, when one of their other independent author "friends" post it on FaceBook it's the absolute truth! These EGOMANIACS are taking to heart statements like, "You have to remember that when you're an independent writer not only are you a writer, but you're a publisher as well."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">BWWWWWFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Really? Because most of these idiots aren't qualified to even claim they're writers, and they're going to take to heart that they're publishers as well.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">BITCH, FUCKIN' PLEASE!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Listen, for all my harshness I'm sorry. Recently, I was told that I had no sense of etiquette or knowledge of proper decorum after comparing Queen Elizabeth II to Darth Sidious for not smiling at the group of disabled children singing "<em><strong>God Save The Queen</strong></em>" at the opening ceremony for the <strong>Olympic Games</strong>. And yes, I realize part of the faux pas was that you are not actually allowed to make fun of Queen Elizabeth along with subjects of the British Crown, unless you are in fact also a subject of the British Crown. Before I go any further let me apologize to Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. It was totally wrong for me to compare you to Darth Sidious, as Darth Sidious is known for smiling evilly and for great burst of melodious laughter.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">What was the point of that unapologetic segue? To say I do realize there was a time when independent writer and author had nothing to do with being published in digital formats, and in many cases even self-published. However the term is now lost and at least for now meaningless. Some people will probably say, Man this guy isn't out to win any friends. Nope. Some would say, Ha, this dude's friends and followers list is gonna so shrink. So be it. Real friends don't necessarily agree with every single opinion you have, and you don't agree with every single opinion they have, but you're still friends. If an opinion cost a friendship it wasn't much of a friendship to begin with. If there happen to be some money grubbing and no talent parasites that I barely know who de-friend or unfollow me on whatever social media we're attached on, WHOOPIE-FREAKIN-DO!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, and I hear it coming. You're just an asshole! You don't care about piracy or intellectual property rights.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, junior, let Master Vyle educate you EGOMANIACS a little further. I see that it took quite some time for y'all to catch on to the oh so horrible, Devil Lendink. Perhaps you've never heard of something called Torrents.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, you have heard of torrents. Yeah, yeah. People use those to download all sorts of things, like TV shows, and movies, and songs-. Oh, and <strong>eBooks</strong>!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, that is correct. People can use torrents to download eBooks. Oh, and not just eBooks, but entire eBook libraries. Oooooh-HO, and not just eBooks and entire eBook libraries, but sometimes the entire short story catalogue of a particular story submission site or two can be found on them as well.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, EGOMANIACS! YOU'RE FREAKIN' WELCOME! Thanks to Master Vyle you now not only have 49 eBook lending libraries to take down, but you also have a few hundred torrent sites to send your DMCA Notices to as well. Good luck on that one, after all governments have been trying to shut down those gosh darned torrent sites forever, but hey, you independent authors beat PayPal and Lendink with such ease. I'm sure you'll be TOUTing, "Victory!", on WWE.Com and have all the torrent sharing sites shut down for good by next week.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Of course now I get to the part that may really piss you off. That OMG moment where Master Vyle yanks the curtain down to expose that the big bad bogeyman, Oz the Great and Powerful, isn't some lending site you have no clue how works, but rather the ease that anyone, probably including you idiots who can't publish an eBook without Mark Coker holding your hand can figure out to do, and that is how to actually "pirate" an eBook. It's quite simple. All you need is an eReader device, a computer, at least two jabronis who want to "share" the book without going through a library or lending service, another eReader device or a computer with an eReader emulator, and in certain cases a file converter available free on any of dozens of sites.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">How many of you have red-assed ears right now? You're probably like, HOLY SHIT! HE'S TELLING PEOPLE HOW TO PIRATE eBOOKS.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I'm not telling anyone anything. I'm pointing out the harsh reality. I'm betting if I handed my 14 year old a Kindle and a NOOK and said, "I want you to take <u><em><strong>Book X</strong></em></u> off this Kindle and format it so this NOOK can read it," that he could have that done in less than 15 minutes. It's not that he has experience doing that. Hell, he's never even held a NOOK, but my point is it is really so easy anyone can figure out how to do it that fast.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Just as the independent writing scene today is made of hundreds of thousands of individuals writing substandard shit for quick sale, so too is the independent pirate scene filled with hundreds of thousands of people willing to strip and flip a file and "share" it over and over. Your drama queen holy war crusade against sites that actually may not even have your file physically on them shouldn't be your main concern. If you're worried about someone reading something you've written without you getting paid for every single copy you're probably going to have to take your search from house to house. Although, in the long run, you're not going to find your cheap and easy, priced from free to $1.99 eBooks there. No, EGOMANIACS. What you will find in the pirate libraries are books by authors that probably most every other man, woman and child walking the face of the Earth have actually heard of. Why?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Hhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe! Because most major publishers do not allow their titles to be lent, because they sign a totally different agreement than you 99% quackers do when you set up accounts at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, EGOMANIACS, that concludes the Butt Pirates of the eBook Lending Site part of the tour. Need I really point out any other reasons I wanted to distance myself from the independent author label? There is all the backstabbing and backbiting. The whining about someone sabotaging someone else because they gave them a bad/honest rating or review. Squabbling over ethereal intellectual copyright infringements the courts on Bizarro Superman's home planet wouldn't even touch. More drama than at my son's middle school. Oh, and one of my favorites, the guy whining, "You ruined my career by throwing me out of the group." (Meaning of course that his writing career was forever ruined because he was booted out of a FaceBook writer's group that has less than 100 members in it.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Mmmm.... Yeah. WELL, NO NEED TO KEEP BEATING THIS DEAD HORSE! I THINK I JUST MAY HAVE PISSED ALL OF YOU OFF!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">OOOOOOOHHHH SNAP AND WAIT! Not quite everybody! See this is what everyone has been waiting for, especially one of my favorite readers, Mrs. Erika Leonard, herself. WOOT, icy! TA-FREAKIN-DA! Yes, I'm well aware you read all my post on das Booken, my Twitter tweets and, oh yeah, of course right here at <strong><u>House Of Master Vyle</u></strong>. And just let me say I'm honored, or would be honored if I actually considered flies on shit to be readers. Just let me also say before I get too deep that I know you have a blogger account too, although I'm not sure if "Mistress" Snowqueen does. That said, if at any time you want to prove me wrong, and prove you're not a gutless little coward, please comment on this post. Chrystian Marrero proved he could do it. But then again, I never disputed the fact that Chrystian Marrero was a writer either.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: large;">Master Vyle Wins! BRUTALITY!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Ahhhhhhhh, <u><em><strong>50 Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u>. It was as if the heavens opened up and from them dropped all the proof I would ever need that a majority of independent erotica writers were idiots. Yes, this (and I am always loathe to call it either book or trilogy) travesty somehow produced a bastard child called the "<u><strong>What To Read After 50 Shades Of Grey List</strong></u>". So, okay, this piece of shit wasn't bad enough? Now you want to aspire to be listed as what to be read after it?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Of course! OH-HO-HO-HO, who wouldn't want to be Edward Cull-...er I mean Christian Grey's sloppy seconds?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">(My outer god cringes and seeks to crawl up my own musty arse at the thought. Rolling my eyes.)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">But oh my, some indie authors are so honored to get on the list. They ride it like Anastasia Steele riding Grey's over bloated, only never seen that big on the Internet, penis. They want to be on the list, or write the "Next" <em><strong>50 Shades Of Grey</strong></em> as if that would be some arduous accomplishment. Really? You've got to have low self-esteem, I mean even lower than Anastasia Steele's self-esteem, and have a poor opinion of your work if this is the height you aspire to.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, wait. I hear it.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">But 50 Shades is outselling Harry Potter.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">BITCH FUCKIN' PLEASE! A copy of <u><em><strong>Harry Potter and the Search For The Philosopher's Stone</strong></em></u> written on a loose collection of napkins will always be a much bigger literary giant the <u><em><strong>50 Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u>, even if it was inscribed on the freakin' golden plates of Mormon.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">To add to the abject absurdity and hilarity of people clamouring to "catch the wave" or as I call it the shit tsunami of fan-fic-fickidy-fickiness I listen to people say how badly written it is, then say how much they liked it. HUH? These same people talk about Mrs. Leonard as if she's some kind of genius, and that she's their hero.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Hero? REALLY?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">LMMFAO!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">What makes that so funny is that many of these people are the exact same people who were burning up the trail, pitchforks raised and torches blazing, out for Lendink's blood. Which means these are the same people oh so concerned about intellectual property rights being protected. And EX-FREAKIN-CUSE ME? Erkia Leonard, A.K.A. E.L. James, SnowJob Icedragon herself is actually your hero???</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: x-large;">BITCH PLEASE!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The <em><strong>50 Shades Trilogy</strong></em> took Stephenie Meyer's intellectual property rights, threw them on the pinball machine in the corner of the bar and started raping them. And all you independent erotica authors are all patrons in the bar yelling, "Woohoo, fuck her good', and "Man, I can't wait to take a turn with that ass!"</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, yeah, EGOMANIACS. Erika Leonard is a genius alright. A genius who knows all about helicopter cockpit dialogue and not a damn thing else. I have had someone who has actually met her describe her as humble. Humble? She's not humble. Whenever she's on US soil she's afraid Stephenie Meyer might walk through the door, having finally come to her senses, and slap the fucking taste out of her mouth. You would think she would want to do that for using her characters as the templates for characters in a story so bad it would be panned on all major erotic story submission sites, that is if it even generated any interest at all. Without the <em><strong>Twilight</strong></em> connection no one would have ever given a rat's ass about <u><em><strong>Master Of The Universe</strong></em></u>, other than Mattel. (Still afraid they're going to sue you, Erika. That other reason she gets, oh, so humble on US soil. Of course the other would be fear that Midway would come after her for using the <em><strong>Mortal Kombat</strong></em> logo as if it were her personal crest.) Yet, better still, you would think Meyer would want to smack the shit out of this diffy idiot for being brazen enough to substitute her husband's name for her character's name when Leonard decided to "revamp" <u><em><strong>MOTU</strong></em></u> for legitimate publication.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">What, sniffling on the other side of the pond? Yeah, I know you didn't see that one coming, Erika, and despite your best efforts to block my digging into your so called career you still haven't managed to hide everything now, have you? See, you've made quite a few enemies among your old fan fic buddies, or as I'm sure you think of them now when your inner goddess still has that occasional smile the little people. P.S. - There's still plenty in the vault all saved up for review time.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">And, oh for the holidays that 50 Shades Cologne will be hitting the market, right?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, guys, Master Vyle is going to help save you and your woman some bucks on that one. Want to smell like Christian Grey? It's easy. Just sneak into the LADIES ROOM and grab a hand full of used tampons, string them bitches around your neck, and you'll have that smell that Christian Grey so deeply covets hanging around you, and the ladies will be all over you like you dunked yourself in a barrel of Axe.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Did that sound totally fucking ridiculous?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Then you haven't trudged too far into the <em><strong>50 Shades Travesty</strong></em>.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Why be so up in arms over this?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Easy. I hate lazy mother fuckers who suddenly one day decide they're writers.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"><u><em><strong>50 Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u> is fan fiction. And the Number One unwritten rule of fan fiction is: You never profit from fan fiction. Not being a writer, Mrs. Leonard decided it was okay to break that rule, and oh, lookie, it paid off for her in spades, quick and easy mountains of filthy stinking money she can, in the end, attribute to someone else's success.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Oh, but she's an innovator for that. She changed the rules.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yep, that she did EGOMANIACS. Because after so many years of no one paying any attention to it the spotlight has shifted to fan fiction. And mark my words that will end up killing that form of expression, what for years and years has been an outlet for fans of other works to make up and share stories with each other. Why? Because authors other than Stephenie Meyer will start having a problem with their characters and ideas being presented as fan fiction one day, then as templates for "legitimate" fiction another day. And in the name of intellectual property rights more and more authors will request fan fiction sites not post work based on their stories and characters. Way to go, Erika, you innovator you. Man, you're a humble freakin' genius!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: large;">Master Vyle Wins! FLAWLESS VICTORY!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yeah, my EGOMANIACS. That's how it is. And those are some of the reasons why I'm now liberated. I'm, again, not calling myself a "liberated author", yet I'm liberating myself from being hung with any title other than author itself. I meant what I said, over and over in this post, I was born to write. I wasn't born writing, haven't been writing since I was a little kid, but I was born to do it. That said I take great exception to anyone who actually did fall out of bed one day and decide they were going to write because it was an easy way to make money. There's nothing easy about this. This is hard as fucking hell, and it's worse knowing at times you have more brains than anyone within 50,000 feet of you at any given time. That feeling is worse still when you finally, supposedly, meet your peers, and realize a majority of them are as stupid, if not even bigger idiots, than most you run into on an everyday basis. I worked very hard to get here, and in reality that isn't very far. I plan on working harder still, more than likely every day for the rest of my life. My effort in writing has always been to be better than the next guy, and to be better than I was before. It's a hard road, but that's the true road.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Easy money?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Show me one person who ever amounted to shit after making easy money.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">See you after vyle.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Da Champ IS HERE!</span></td></tr>
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<br />Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-85402172676415566222012-07-17T10:45:00.004-07:002012-07-18T04:21:03.979-07:00Master Vyle Gets Kink~E!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Well, it was bound... hmmmm... bound to happen... ummmm... Hhehehehehehe.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Okay. It was bound to happen sometime. This month yours truly graces the virtual pages of the one and only <strong><em>Kink~E Magazine</em></strong> in an issue which focuses on author interviews. I join the likes of the spooky Robert Ropars, sensual Savannah Chase, the mega witty Rich Woods, and the mega talented Cassandre Dayne (yes the one person I feel is a shinning ray of light within the abyss that is Naughty Nights Press).</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Come on and get Kink~E with me all you fiends, fright fans, perverts and sickos if you haven't ever gotten Kink~E before, and check out the Internet's premier lifestyle magazine! Marabelle Blue wants you to come on down. And just so you know, only real authors were interviewed for this issue. She said so. Hhehehehehehe.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><a href="http://www.kinkemagazine.com/">www.kinkemagazine.com</a></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-2507845748244311602012-06-20T11:11:00.001-07:002012-06-20T11:11:05.370-07:00Where, Oh Where Has Master Vyle Gone? ...BEWARE, I LIVE!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Nothing like having a good laugh over <em>Newsweek's</em> poorly researched article about the white collar woman's desire for BDSM, that proved their research into BDSM was just as poor as <em>20/20's</em> research into it, and E.L. James's.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">The sound of silence (at least in print). For anyone who has dropped by this blog as of late it has become a common sight. "Visual silence"... ummmm... quietness. No updates, no reviews, just the same old... since that last post... way back, when I announced my <em>Man's World Interview</em> with <strong><em>The AfterDark World</em></strong>. And I'm sure for some maybe it's been just a little disconcerting. Just where is Michael C. Laney? Where is Master Vyle in this world of uncertainty?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">These are uncertain times after all. I mean there are so many things I know you fiends, fright fans, freaks, perverts and sickos are just dying for me to weigh in on. I mean, in a nation where Congress shall make no law against the right to freedom of speech, ...mmmm, except in the Michigan State Congress. I mean, come on! You know if that had been me I would have jumped up on my little ledge and grabbed my crotch and yelled, "Jump up my bloody cunt, you in public homophobe, under your desk getting blown by you male page, closet cross-dressing, pro-life, give religious nuts the right to protest at the funerals of soldiers you'd sent to die, give tax cut to the rich-benefits cuts to the poor, I'm not a racist I know a black person, LITTLE BITCH! YEAH, CENSOR AND CENSURE THAT MOTHER FUCKER!"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">Now, I'll bet you're looking at that thinking, would you have really have said that if you were Michigan State Representative Lisa Brown? Well, the answer in an emphatic, HELL YES! Because, you see, I am Michael C. Laney, Master Vyle, the guy who's not afraid to say shit. You see my brain, and the First Amendment, well they like to get FUCKIN' BUSY, and after they do my mouth and fingers give birth to shit that make the late Senator Jesse Helms pop right up out of his grave like a zombie loaded on crack and bath salts with a coffee table book cataloguing the complete works of Robert Mapplethorpe jammed up his ass.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">Oh, my! What happened to that guy?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">The truth is fright fans, as of late, things have been really crazy. I have had a battle with migraines that has been pretty much ongoing since the end of October, and for a while I felt as if they had pretty much shut me down. Then once I was on a medicine that had them pretty much under control my allergist put me on a new medication to help with something else, and let's just say the side effects made me more vyle than usual. In the midst of all of that there were work schedule changes, and volunteering at Four <em>Coroner's</em> Charter School, and attempting to purchase a new house, just running all over Hell, the stuff that the nightmares of a writer with OCD are made of, the kind of shi... I'm sure you get the gist, none of it's been very conducive to writing or reviewing, and I've been doing fairly well to get any reading squeezed in. Currently my college student and his girlfriend are here for the summer, so it's vacation time as well. Healthwise I'm pretty much back on track, however the scar tissue has returned in the lady vyle's airway, and in a couple of weeks she will have to go in and have the blockage cleared, so for the moment my writing and blogging are pretty much on hold and at a crawl for a few more weeks.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">That doesn't mean that I don't have a backlog of reviews I want to get to. Nor does it mean that there isn't a lot of bid'ness I intend to address. Some of you may remember that at the first of the year, good old New Year's Resolution time, one of my main resolutions was that I was not going to hold back, about anything. I said that and a lot of people were like, "YAY! Woohoo! Give 'em, Hell, dude!" Then after about the second review I posted I had some e-mails and messages, of varying degrees, and I will add sent with the best of intentions, that were sent because my friends were concerned that I was going to damage my reputation as a writer or that I might be perceived as a "flamer". And to the latter I have to say, People have been calling me a flamer since middle school, long before I began to admit it. Hhehehehehehe. That aside, this can be taken as a joke or it can be taken seriously, but being in a "flame war" with about 99% of the people I would give an awful review to isn't a concern, mainly because (and this could be the EGOMANIA talkin', BROTHER) they don't have the tools to respond to anything I've written in a awful review of their work, hence that would be why the review is awful.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">You see I'm really, and I mean (once I get back in the swing of things) really , really not going to hold back. For example it was recently brought to my attention that the Indie Book Collective (whoever the fuck they are) wanted to create a "Mark Of Excellence" to help readers, I guess, find well written independently published eBooks and distinguish them from all the crap and drivel flooding the market and giving all us independent writers a bad name. Uhh-huh. And just who the fuck decides what an excellent book is Indie Book Collective? A bunch of back-biting ass sniffers and self-praisers, "You vote for my shit, and I'll vote for your shit," just like at CatLiterotica, FlushStories and XNFullOfViruses.Com? Well, I got news for everyone, friends, foes and "The Indie Book Collective", I'm an independent author... No, scratch that, INDEPENDENT author. I write, I edit, I do the cover art (shittily bad, awful cover art), I do all the promotion, publishing and distribution. (And by publishing and distribution I mean I send it to the big boys directly. I don't wait for Smashwords. I don't hem and haw for days with any third party. I don't break out a champagne bottle and pop the cork because someone sent me an e-mail and told me my book was up on Amazon like that was a big deal. In fact, when I publish I submit to Amazon, Barnes & Noble and everywhere else I intend to sell through at the same time and announce a publication within 48 hours.) </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;"> INDEPENDENT! I get the job done and I shake my head at other people who want to struggle and pay other people to do what it so simple when they could do it themselves and save the money they're spending on a book broker for artwork and advertising. However, I am getting away from the point I really wanted to make, and that point it this, first and foremost I am a writer and I write the stories I want to tell and I write them for myself. After that those stories go to readers, who as I have said in the past, do me the honor of buying them because they felt they were interesting enough to spend their hard earned money on. Beyond that it is their opinion, and only their opinion that matters. So my writing isn't tailored to appeal to critics, or book reviewers, or even other independent authors, and it damn sure will never be tailored for the "Independent Book Collective" and their "Mark Of Excellence". In fact if anyone from there is reading this please, oh please, let there be a "Mark Of Shame". I dare you to stamp all of my eBooks with it, because negative publicity sometimes works wonders, yo. I bend over in front of the Independent Book Collective, spread my ass cheeks wide open and yell, "ASS-simulate THIS!"</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">Of course all that shit being said I can admit that not everything comes out perfect the first time around. It has been no secret that as soon as I actually had a Kindle and started reading it on it I found several errors in my first published novel, <u><em><strong>Heather's Journey: The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE</strong></em></u>, which was the reason I slashed the price to the bone (because $1.99 for a 900 page novel is to the bone believe me) and promised not to raise it to normal price until it was finely edited. Fortunately one of the things I have actively been working on is editing <u><em><strong>The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE</strong></em></u>, as well as enhancing the interior in ways I was not savvy enough to do, since I did rush to convert the manuscript for publication, and it was my first eBook. I am going slow, and am still avoiding projected date, however I do hope to relaunch the novel by the fall with wider online distribution and possibly in a print edition as well.</span><br />
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<span style="color: yellow;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-size: small;">Here's a look at the revised cover for <u><em><strong>Heather's Journey: The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE</strong></em></u></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">As far as other projects. Well, I have so many ideas running around in my head that I don't really want to speculate as to what it coming next. I can tell you that <u><em><strong>The Creeper</strong></em></u> was coming along until I became derailed, and I did begin work on another (yes, yet another) collection of more "family friendly" (as family friendly as I get, Hhehehehehe) stories dedicated to the memory of Dr. Paul Bearer (Dick Bennick, Sr.) titled <u><em><strong>In The Name Of Creature Features</strong></em></u>. With this school year the Q-Man starts high school, so it will be yet another schedule change for me, so I am going to wait and see what it does to my writing time and how much more it opens it up, if indeed it does, before I begin to plan on what I am actively going to work at publishing next.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">Also on that note within the next few weeks I am planning on renewing my relationship with OmniLit/All Romance eBooks. I don't really look on it as much me going back on my convictions or not proving a point as I do that no one really much gave a crap that I severed my ties with them in the first place. OmniLit/ARe probably didn't notice. I had a hand full of friends who were concerned enough to ask if cutting relations with a distributor was a good idea the day I made the post and that was it. In a nutshell, it was no big thing. Hell, I could blame it on the medicine I was taking, and it probably was, but IN A WORLD WHERE at any time eBay and PayPal still might dictate to Smashwords and any other Fly-By-Night Jabroni Press what they can and can't publish and they'll all fold up to whatever eBay and Smashwords want like the greedy, dicksuckin' little bitches they are, despite the fact that eBay looks the other way at that "bannable" stuff in its own listings... eh, why the fuck not. And yes, Smashwords is run by a guy actually named Mark Cocksucker, and he doesn't really give a crap about anything published on Smashwords or independent authors because he likes the feel of a real book in his left hand while the right hand is takin' care of bid'ness.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">Now, that said, I am standing firm that I will still refuse direct linking to Smashwords from this blog, due to Mark Cocksucker's aforementioned habit of folding up like a little bitch for eBay and PayPal, and again sorry to any authors solely distributed through Smashwords, though as you see in my man Ray Sostre's case, I got around that by linking through one of his sites. I think this is as a good a time as any to clarify that just because I don't often support certain publishers, companies or websites because their owners or admins are greedy assholes, or their policies are stupid and idiotic, does not mean that I do not appreciate or support the talented authors who may be there. I take this moment to give a shout out to the Dirty Martini man himself, Alan Jankowski, who along with several other authors from LushStories, were published as part of <u><em><strong>Lush Erotica: An Anthology Of Award Winning Sex Stories</strong></em></u>. Much love Alan! Even though I was loathe to do it I joined the FB page for the book and was the first person to comment on it, mainly because I wanted to be able to say "FIRST!!!", on it, as well as promoting it on my profile and pages. I of course won't nitpick and say that the awards these stories won were all awards actually given on LushStories itself, the number two, umm-hummmmm, NUMBER TWO, erotic story submission site in the world. This collection is getting much buzz, and was even highly endorsed as, "BEST BOOK!", by no less a figure than "Kim Kardashian" <span style="color: cyan;">@Kim_Karsdashian</span> via her Twitter account, although not by Kim Kardashian <span style="color: cyan;">@KimKardashian</span> via her officially verified Twitter account. But, again, all jokes aside, and despite the fact that I have yet to read it myself, I do suggest getting a copy of <u><em><strong>Lush Erotica</strong></em></u> because it is filled with stories from a broad range of talented erotica authors I am sure many of you have never heard of.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">I do, of course, have a backlog of reviews that I want and need to get to. I have read quite a few more Five and Six Star shorts from the awesome Aussiescribbler, and it's almost a crime that I haven't had the time, or even felt well enough to share my thoughts on them. I also had a chance to read a couple of novels from the Mistress of Dolls herself, the late, great, Ruby Jean Jensen, a pair that I had actually never read before which were not only beyond her standard fare and written close to the end of her life but I consider among her best. Plus I had a chance to get in some Sci-Fi for a change, a little <em><strong>Star Wars</strong></em>, including Drew Karpyshn's <u><em><strong>Darth Bane: Path Of Destruction</strong></em></u> and James Luceno's <u><em><strong>Dark Lord: The Rise Of Darth Varder</strong></em></u>, which are two of the best <em><strong>Star Wars</strong></em> novels I have ever read.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">Now, not everything in Review Land is all rainbows and puppy dogs. Oh, no. (Or, really, oh, yes! Because I know you're hoping it's so.) First of all there's the matter of one James Robert Smith, <span style="color: cyan;">@JRobertSmith</span> on Twitter. You may have heard of this guy. He's the mailman from North Carolina who thinks all independent and self-published authors suck, despite the fact that his own first novel, <u><em><strong>The Flock</strong></em></u>, was initially self-published through a company which mainly publishes children's books. He's the guy that says things on Twitter like, "STOP SELF-PUBLISHING ALL OF THOSE SHITTY BOOKS! IF YOU DON'T STOP THEN YOU ARE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!!" and "<span style="color: orange;">Oh. Your crappy piece of self-published shit is free. That makes me SO much more inclined to download it. Really, though... Stop it." and<span style="color: orange;"> "I'm not kidding. Your self-published novel sucks. What made you think your work wasn't horrible.</span>"</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">Ahhhh. Apparently James Robert Smith has never read <u><em><strong>The Flock</strong></em></u> by James Robert Smith. And they say I've got problems. Yes, this guy is truly postal, which is fitting because he's a mailman. He also pats himself on the back claiming he has submitted several scripts to Marvel Comics. Humm, funny, because <u><em><strong>The Flock</strong></em></u> is supposed to be (in Smith's poorly written way) an attack on the Walt Disney Company for building the City of Celebration, Florida, and how it ruined the environment and the balance of nature and what a cruel and heartless company Disney is, in what's supposed to be that creative and disguised way writers disguise things, though Smith does it poorly. Oh, DAMN, the Walt Disney Company owns Marvel Comics! Ooops. P.S. - I live in that area you wrote about and apparently know nothing about, because you're a very poor researcher. Double Ooops.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">Then there's that other "book", or "book series", whatever. Of course I'm talking about that now infamous piece of shit <u><em><strong>50 Shades Of Grey</strong></em></u>. I really want to save up for the review but as a preview I can't express how much I hate this moronic drivel, and I'll go on record again as saying it makes every piece of absolute cheese that I've ever read from Ellora's Cave look good. (And I mean really, really, really, really, really, really, really good.) Erika Leonard a.k.a E.L. James a.k.a Snowqueens Icedragon has no talent, is no writer, knows nothing about BDSM, and is nothing but a <em><strong>Twilight</strong></em> fangirl who looks like an deer in the headlights every time I see her. Never in my life have I ever seen anyone make so much money for being able to SUCK! All doubts that she and her fans were a bunch of total losers evaporated when I went to her official, and I am serious it was her official FaceBook page, and found it to be nothing but pictures of cookies, and helicopters and Christian Grey, and when I say Christian Grey I mean pictures of Robert Pattinson, just like there were on her old <em><strong>50 Shades</strong></em> website before, in preparation to self-publish this crap the first time, she used Microsoft Word to replace all of Stephenie Meyer's character names with her own, and changed the title from <u><em><strong>Master Of The Universe</strong></em></u> because she was more afraid of Mattel suing her than Ms. Meyer. LOSERS!!!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">Hey, Erika, I've written fan-fiction too, and you know what, it's all exactly where it belongs, on free sites, in my closet and under my bed, and not for sale. Plus, as someone who actually is experienced in the BDSM lifestyle in the flesh and online I figured I would point this out, since apparently no one else has bothered to yet, but your old pen name, obviously wasn't chosen at random for whimsy, now was it, icedragon? And it would be icedragon with a lowercase i, correct? You see it's not Snowqueens Icedragon or snowqueensicedragon, but Snowqueen's icedragon. Right? Which would mean you're the icedragon, little i. Which would mean that you're someone's online bitch. So then, who's Snowqueen? It's a mystery. Now maybe I am a little bit crazy for just saying that, and there's nothing to that at all, however I'm guessing about 80% of the people who just read it were laughing so hard they nearly pissed their pants. And even if there's nothing to it, it just further goes to prove that you're a total dumbass.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">But on the other side, if there is a Snowqueen and you're reading this, Snowqueen, I'd love to do an interview with you. In fact I'm willing to pay you exactly what Mrs. Leonard paid you for all the shitty and incorrect BDSM information you gave her to use to inspire her works with, absolutely nothing. Hhehehehehehe.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange; font-size: small;">Well, that's it for now. I'll be keeping you posted on when I'm closer to the relaunch of <u><em><strong>The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE</strong></em></u>. Until then I will be doing my best to enjoy the rest of Alex and Cali's visit and our trip to St. Pete Beach next week. I will also keep you posted on the lady vyle. I should be clearing out my review backlog at the end of the summer. Come back after vyle, I'll be lurking for you.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span><br />
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</tbody></table>Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-36207180967469648472012-03-14T09:39:00.003-07:002012-03-14T13:01:59.208-07:00The AfterDark World: AfterDark's Interview with Michael C. Laney<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_7hzz8i_8FphZOl_alMsUQbYu1DiUMfUir6WayNh7Cw8w3yCYylBL3iTFm5U9lceEM7Rg7RAU0JIkzpejl16yHv4EcHc3et_0soT9T2fhTharkwmzrXh0La-YUWKW7BLTWLIk5WELkRz9/s1600/MV+Author+19.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_7hzz8i_8FphZOl_alMsUQbYu1DiUMfUir6WayNh7Cw8w3yCYylBL3iTFm5U9lceEM7Rg7RAU0JIkzpejl16yHv4EcHc3et_0soT9T2fhTharkwmzrXh0La-YUWKW7BLTWLIk5WELkRz9/s320/MV+Author+19.JPG" width="202" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Check out my irreverant, candid and at points deeply personal inverview with AfterDark's Ray Sostre.</span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://theafterdarkworld.blogspot.com/2012/03/afterdarks-interview-with-michael-c.html?spref=bl">The AfterDark World: AfterDark's Interview with Michael C. Laney</a>: In continuation of “A Man’s World Interview” with The AfterDark World, I am proud to bring a man who takes paranormal to a whole new level,...Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-52507980265312393702012-03-05T12:39:00.001-08:002012-03-05T12:49:10.848-08:00I'm A One Man Show, It's Nothing New<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJDZumkk2wc6P7oTJE7YJWBhAwxAIaL07wGTaX7Iczrux1wLqNzsVPUn6L_jQB5M7BgJAET5MjzU3IThcX_grGF7t2nNQcQwwEixBdBkdqC5acj2ziNHR34h8XVMgItOzaa8fmu1B0Fvj1/s1600/picasabackground.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJDZumkk2wc6P7oTJE7YJWBhAwxAIaL07wGTaX7Iczrux1wLqNzsVPUn6L_jQB5M7BgJAET5MjzU3IThcX_grGF7t2nNQcQwwEixBdBkdqC5acj2ziNHR34h8XVMgItOzaa8fmu1B0Fvj1/s640/picasabackground.bmp" width="640" /></a></div><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I'm a one man show, a maverick, a loner, the oddball. It's really nothing new to me. For days I had struggled with exactly what I was going to do, with what I was going to try to do. In the end I had pretty much resolved myself with staying a part of what I saw as pretty much was the "Great Circle Of Hypocrites". Pay Pal had done its thing and there was no sign of revolution or rebellion. No backlash from the world of independent writers to say, "Hell no, we're not standing for this crap!" Just business as usual. So I was going to plug on and be business as usual. Write a funny little article. Do my story to make fun of Pay Pal and Mark Cocksucker, and explain how I was going to stick it to the system by continuing to sell my stories through ARe and smile each time Pay Pal had to disperse a payment to me through their system for the smut I had written they found acceptable.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">That was until I got home this afternoon and saw that it was Read An e-Book Week. And wow, in honor of Read An e-Book Week I see all these other people who are left over at Smashwords who were apparently unaffected by the Great Pay Pal Purge are offering all sorts of deals and shit to drive traffic to Smashwords and get people to buy their shit. So, I suppose all the shit these people have written are works of art that are so great and so grand they will never, ever be touched by Pay Pal, so why should they ever worry about standing untied with some dirty old porn writers? Of course that's not to say that there aren't writers out there who aren't doing things, like passing around an e-petition I'm sure that eBay and Pay Pal will do nothing more than wipe their asses with once they're presented with it, then ask if anyone has a copy of the First Amendment they can use to finish the job with.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">So not that it amounts to anything, but this writer has made the decision not to be a part of the Great Circle Of Hypocrites. I have pulled my library from All Romance eBooks and OmniLit.Com. I have also removed all "Featured Creature" links to that go directly to Smashwords. I do know a couple of you are solely distributed through Smashwords, which is unfortunate. I am willing to carry the links for those works if they are on Amazon or Barnes & Noble, but I refuse to do any direct linking to Smashwords or any other company that is going to let an outside vendor blackmail them into writing the publishing guidelines they want, when they are not a publisher, especially when the publishers in question have no backbone to stand up to those outside parties and are too greedy to hire their own internal accounting department.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I am and always have been a writer. I wrote when the only audience I had was myself, and if worse comes to worse I will do so again, but I do not foresee this happening, because I am determined to stand up for myself and others, whether the rest of you choose to do so or not, whether you have the balls or backbone to do so or not, whether you feel the writers and works being discriminated against are worthy or being stood up for or not. I will have an audience. There is an e-book market for the stories Pay Pal feels are unfit, and if this whole thing is a set up to clear the market for eBay to start it own restriction free ePublishing service I promise you I will never be on it. I've been published in eBook format for just over a year, and personally I've come too far to hold back, and I'm not going to hold back. What's coming from me is out there, and I can promise if nothing I've ever written has never offended you before you might want to hold on to your blue hairs, granny, because there's no turning back, I had already decided I wasn't going to turn back, and the events of the past couple of weeks have really cinched and set me on that course more than I was before.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">So that's it basically. Yes, there's still old Smashwords links on old post and reviews, but only because I'm not going to take the incredible amount of time it will take to go through and remove all of them. Yes all those ARe and OmniLit links are there on my stuff too, but they're dead links to nowhere, because I'm done there. I have my freedom and self respect. Being an independent author means everything to me, they're not just casual words, I take them to heart. I have the freedom to chose what I want to write and how long it's going to be and how far it goes. It's never been about the money, and if it ever came down to it I would go back to Cat-Literotica or Flushstories or even lowest common denominator sites like XN to get my stories out. However, I don't think it will come to that, not even if I have to sell my stories as eBooks door-to-door.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Anyway, that's pretty much it. That's what I'm doing. Again, I may be a one man show, but again, it's nothing new to me. I have my dignity and self-respect, and still no more and no less than I had the day before. Everyone else can take what you want from this and do what you want, as long as you feel what you're doing is the right thing for yourself and your craft, that's all I think I can leave you with.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz9_kQ4bN-WN3KivDom6Cgc3wM-aHKBdoy-8jBZD7Kd5r1WnTsDAppooE_FH8jOiXlNC570uivGA-V-9q8vZUJsm3wd3hZ8fgQuEy13Viga9yx4iZl4648ko2fj68ceQxHT_64SJkBIsHk/s1600/A+MV+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz9_kQ4bN-WN3KivDom6Cgc3wM-aHKBdoy-8jBZD7Kd5r1WnTsDAppooE_FH8jOiXlNC570uivGA-V-9q8vZUJsm3wd3hZ8fgQuEy13Viga9yx4iZl4648ko2fj68ceQxHT_64SJkBIsHk/s1600/A+MV+1.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-4962760025453750992012-02-26T13:55:00.000-08:002012-02-26T13:55:01.875-08:00Review: Jolly Rogering by Aussiescribbler<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlt-0PzzEJYu-Uzn8pXgYukLD5_khRq2AwEakV-Y61Pbdj1Yqg4INAEJk8my5iOqScQpfp4xeXGsikeCtAK8x89P2HwuhqLAUpfbmVkay_xWub2GnlbJcXS2JgIUS0lyzQPdi1evKOtKeu/s1600/Jolly+Rogering.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlt-0PzzEJYu-Uzn8pXgYukLD5_khRq2AwEakV-Y61Pbdj1Yqg4INAEJk8my5iOqScQpfp4xeXGsikeCtAK8x89P2HwuhqLAUpfbmVkay_xWub2GnlbJcXS2JgIUS0lyzQPdi1evKOtKeu/s640/Jolly+Rogering.jpg" width="426" /></a></div><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">There's nothing quite like a good story that has sex and pirates, and when you throw Aussiescribbler into the mix you've got a <u><strong>Funny Boner</strong></u>, a story that goes beyond the usual fan fiction pirate fare involving Elizabeth Swan, Nico Robin, "Cat Burglar" Nami, Roranora Zorro, Chef Sanji and Captain Jack Sparrow doing naughty and sweaty things to and with each other. Yes, the awesome Aussie delivers a two-for-one double shot with this mini-collection filled with his own Down Under brand of humor erotica that's guaranteed to make you giggle more than grab yourself. If you're looking for a deep and historically accurate tale to beat off to, FORGET IT! But if you're looking for a great story to put a smile on your face and make you snicker every time you think about it like a little kid having a dirty little thought, then this pair of stories is right up your alley.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Jolly Rogering</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Agatha has always dreamed of being a pirate, and when the Libertine arrives in port one day she decides to try her luck and disguise herself as a cabin boy and join the crew. Everything works out for a while, but it's hard to hide the fact that you're a horny girl pirate in the middle of a crew of horny boy pirates, especially when all the "facilities" are on deck. In the end Agatha learns a whole new appreciation for the term "All Hands On Deck" (and a few other things on a few other places too). Five Stars!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Washed Up</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Robin Crusoe sneaks up onto the deck of the ship she's traveling on one night for a little scrumping with the first mate, until they're interrupted by the captain and he pushes he overboard so he's not caught caught having improper relations with a passenger. Robin ends up stranded on an island all alone in this quick and clever retelling of Defoe's <u><em><strong>Robinson Crusoe</strong></em></u> with bits of <u><em><strong>Mutiny On The Bounty</strong></em></u> and <em><strong>Castaway</strong></em> thrown in. Bananas and cannibals and mutineers, oh my! Five Stars!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Of course as a native Floridian I have a thing for pirates, beaches and tropical settings, and of course when you throw in raunchy sex and off humor and you have my full attention. Again the awesome Aussie proves why he calls his stories <u><strong>Funny Boners</strong></u>, and if you're looking for something other than a straight-up exercise in racy raunch he's the man to try, because, again, he writes erotica for the thinking person, and he always delivers.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Here is where you can get your copy of <em><strong><u>Jolly Rogering</u></strong></em>:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Barnes & Noble: <span style="color: yellow;"> </span><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/jolly-rogering-aussie-scribbler/1107759472"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/jolly-rogering-aussie-scribbler/1107759472</span></a></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">iTunes Book Store: <span style="color: yellow;"> </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/jolly-rogering/id483376546"><span style="color: yellow;">http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/jolly-rogering/id483376546</span></a></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Sony eBook Store: <span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black;"><a href="http://ebookstore.sony.com/ebook/aussie-scribbler/jolly-rogering/_/R-400000000000000551533"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">http://ebookstore.sony.com/ebook/aussie-scribbler/jolly-rogering/_/R-400000000000000551533</span></a></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjCLu0-F_egJZ9djkDj1IxKP7UpkIoqci1JAK0l0_yRFxIbeNRs4_5m8vqAPj1mUssn2vfJ2PUVrC1hRj1Tu6O3UYoB98e_Fm2hyphenhyphenkORsVilS5a967kUe3_CpJFH9aVsHlU9qg5o-P89BRD/s1600/A+MV+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjCLu0-F_egJZ9djkDj1IxKP7UpkIoqci1JAK0l0_yRFxIbeNRs4_5m8vqAPj1mUssn2vfJ2PUVrC1hRj1Tu6O3UYoB98e_Fm2hyphenhyphenkORsVilS5a967kUe3_CpJFH9aVsHlU9qg5o-P89BRD/s200/A+MV+2.jpg" width="129" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-23149149670763628742012-02-19T00:35:00.001-08:002012-02-26T04:56:00.627-08:00Lisa McCourt Hollar: A Triple-Shot Review!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbEiDc3hy1Zr0jrC62NWTLHsiRAxnRZhHSrInXRd61F4pZrJqnWvE8wgzggNmoF6bojtdfNqzoF5CTC2rdjooof9_D7Lb4K3JW42eQRboZJ9NYL6sovxI7vw2dpmGGjqU6w2dm8tIa3tx5/s1600/LMH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbEiDc3hy1Zr0jrC62NWTLHsiRAxnRZhHSrInXRd61F4pZrJqnWvE8wgzggNmoF6bojtdfNqzoF5CTC2rdjooof9_D7Lb4K3JW42eQRboZJ9NYL6sovxI7vw2dpmGGjqU6w2dm8tIa3tx5/s400/LMH.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">To start with I have to say that my initial intention was to do my standard, single review on a single work, because thus far I have only done a couple of reviews where I included more than one work by the same author (always a sign of an exceptional talent). I also have to state that it was my initial intention to have that review done about three weeks ago as well, along with an entire laundry list of other things that, as always, went on the back burner due to my recurrent migraines and other assorted and endless disasters.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">But enough about my issues, let's talk about Lisa McCourt Hollar. If you follow this blog you may know that I first became acquainted with Mrs. Hollar's works back around Halloween when I read her short story <em><strong>Sam</strong></em>, a sweet little tale of a boy and his flesh eating, zombie, goldfish. I found it to be a quaint and endearing little story, and from the author's bio at the end I was really under the impression that Mrs. Hollar was mainly into the YA and "Children's" horror scenes, someone who told tales that were grodie enough to be cool, but safe enough for the local PTA to approve of.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">A couple of months later, during the <u><strong>Twelve Nights Of Creepfest Blog Hop</strong></u>, I learned that Mrs. Hollar was a little more edgy than I though after getting a look at a work that was still somewhat in progress on her blog. I realized there was more to Lisa McCourt Hollar than I had thought at first glance, but yet I really didn't get the fact that she wrote the kind of things your local PTA wouldn't approve of. In fact it was not until getting through the following stories that I knew how gritty and edgy Lisa McCourt Hollar was, not only writing the type of story I love to read, but the type I love to write as well.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJGiLOTaua9OmVJr7xSZSQZDafqDNGQRF5l3Y_0uUq5H-ApGLjBjkkd1EL4dzZN7N8WfgG_qVY4GhVOEioSicbZ3KvqquiugqTwjK1OGSurxyhjUPE10hW7GaQ9_loccpPGyeY3Yxf2KbE/s1600/Carnival.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJGiLOTaua9OmVJr7xSZSQZDafqDNGQRF5l3Y_0uUq5H-ApGLjBjkkd1EL4dzZN7N8WfgG_qVY4GhVOEioSicbZ3KvqquiugqTwjK1OGSurxyhjUPE10hW7GaQ9_loccpPGyeY3Yxf2KbE/s320/Carnival.jpg" width="284" /></a></div><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">First up is a stand alone short story <em><strong>The Carnival</strong></em>. Pregnant at 15 Lucy has been confined to her home by her father, the mayor, to avoid a scandal, but she will do anything to be reunited with her lover Tom. When the little clown arrives at her house with a message from Tom to follow him she does without a single though, straight into an unimaginable nightmare.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">It's pretty hard to say much more without giving too much of the story away. I can tell you it's not a tale for the faint of heart or prudish. The story itself is very well written, although it does becomes slightly predictable near the end. I give it Four Stars.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdwf7GlKUL98HGgf-nuMcVf_TjCjA9H6ISkDCyJXizj7Z_I9EwbC8N5rxz6ajXHTKaE-FQiXKnIYwJTGQz8ehPuBwdxOl41EQOpd8HtErZhgm7c-8GkdfoMrGENQ_1tJDuYz3nQQ59S-fz/s1600/Halloween+Frights.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdwf7GlKUL98HGgf-nuMcVf_TjCjA9H6ISkDCyJXizj7Z_I9EwbC8N5rxz6ajXHTKaE-FQiXKnIYwJTGQz8ehPuBwdxOl41EQOpd8HtErZhgm7c-8GkdfoMrGENQ_1tJDuYz3nQQ59S-fz/s400/Halloween+Frights.jpg" width="272" /></a></div><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The second body of Mrs. Hollar's work up for review is a short story collection <u><em><strong>Halloween Frights</strong></em></u>. This is a fairly easy read, and most of the individual stories are only a few pages long, but their length does nothing to lessen their impact.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>'Joe's Night Out'</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">A sweet little poem about crazy Joe heading to the cemetery to dig up a few friends for Halloween. Five Stars.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Happy Halloween</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Sandra finally has what she's wanted since the day she married George. She's a widow. Unfortunately she's not quite as alone as she seems. Four Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Taxidermy Nightmare</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">On Halloween Night most of the kids avoid the Harper house, because they say deformed Tom does some crazy things. They may be right. Three Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Dolly</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Francine's daughter Annie is acting out, but it isn't her fault. Dolly is the one telling her to do bad things. Three Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Things That Go Bump In The Night</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Tasha can't sleep. There's a monster under her bed that wants to eat her toes. She knows it. Just knows it. But who is more scary in the end? Five stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>The Beast Inside</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">There are times when you shouldn't tease someone. There are times when you shouldn't be a bully. And a group of neighborhood kids is about to learn their lesson too late. Five Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>The Voices</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Francine and her mother move into a haunted house where the past replays itself. Four Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Eternity</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">There's a killer in the house, but it's okay because he can never, never, touch you. Five Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Family Lore</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">A young woman discovers she is descended from a long line of witches, but it seems like someone else may have already known first. Four Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Weekend Escape</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">A woman's unseasonal trip to her summer house becomes an exercise in terror when an escaped killer joins her on her retreat. Five Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Vampire's Hollow</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Judith dreams of a man coming to her in the night as her family crosses to America. Once she arrives she follows him into the wilderness, the mysterious Tiberius Crane. Then, she learns his plans for her, and her torment begins. Five Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">An overall Five Star collection. Some of the stories are easy to figure out, and you see the twist in them coming, and I never could find the little girl's motivation in <em><strong>Dolly</strong></em>, but <em><strong> Things That Go Bump In The Night</strong></em> is cute and <em><strong>The Beast Within</strong></em> is an awesome mix of anti-bullying tale and gorefest, while <em><strong>Vampire's Hollow</strong></em> is filled with the edginess and grit most stories out there are lacking.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6iyX6oacwFshbKE3Hqs6PLWuX-vlRjWENh-P-lknX6lkGhT5_rClOFKRKKjlcVy5B08f8bLVGoFxUyjoNTgOjlZg_AbyoQraqvK4IIbaTNZzsJYHWNefpXHF-mVZzl3kyn3f6mONtDlYA/s1600/Flashes+From+The+Grave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6iyX6oacwFshbKE3Hqs6PLWuX-vlRjWENh-P-lknX6lkGhT5_rClOFKRKKjlcVy5B08f8bLVGoFxUyjoNTgOjlZg_AbyoQraqvK4IIbaTNZzsJYHWNefpXHF-mVZzl3kyn3f6mONtDlYA/s400/Flashes+From+The+Grave.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The final of our trio of Lisa McCourt Hollar works up for review is the short story collection <u><em><strong>Flashes From The Grave</strong></em></u>, which was the work I had set out to initially review in the first place. As with the previous collection it is filled with very short stories which are to the point and impactful. Throughout this collection Mrs. Hollar also demonstrates her range as a writer, throwing in a little comedy this time out as well.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Zombie Beach</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">A woman attempts to save her young daughter from the zombie horde by swimming out onto a raft anchored in the ocean. Zombies can't swim, can they? Five stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>The Rat King</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">A gritty tale of a young woman driven to seek revenge on the creature that murdered her baby sister, and made her into a thing like him. Five Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>The Vampire Hunter's Wife</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Bride. Assistant. Prisoner. A madman's slave finds salvation in an unlikely source. Five Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>The Zombie Reunification Act</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">In a world overrun by zombies there's only one thing the government can do, put them to work. A taste of the lighter side of Lisa McCourt Hollar. Five Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Don't Play With Your Food</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">A tale of cannibalism and revenge. A story so horrifyingly over the top it has to be read to be appreciated. Six Stars!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>The Bearded Man</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Tabitha dreams that the Bearded Man is coming to take her children, even though she has not had any yet. Four Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>The Birth Of Evil</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">A brother and sister learn too late that they are part of a plot to bring about the beginning of the end. Five Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>No Respect For The Dead</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">It's one of those old "There Goes The Neighborhood" stories with a twist, and another example of Mrs. Hollar's lighter side as a vampire has to deal with some undesirable new neighbors. Four Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>The Uninvited</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The scene of a wedding reception ruined as the zombie apocalypse begins. Four Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Dear Charlie</strong></em></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Charlie is a diligent worker with OCD. Nothing will keep him from getting his job at a small diner done, even death, a fact the local health department is sure to frown on. Again the humor of Lisa McCourt Hollar shines through in one of her funniest tales. Five Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>The Circle Of Life</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">A brief scene from the zombie apocalypse told from the zombie point of view. Five Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Til Death We Meet Again</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Every night Selina gets ready, waiting for the vampire she met when she was a young woman to come and take her so she can be with him forever. Now she is an old woman at death's door, and as her wait nears its end someone else's wait is about to begin. Five Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><em><strong>Caged</strong></em></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Tabby deals in exotic animals, when your definition of what an animal is is broad. She captures them, cages them, trains them and sells the ones who live to the highest bidder. Four Stars.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Again with <u><em><strong>Flashes From The Grave</strong></em></u> Lisa McCourt Hollar delivers an overall Five Star collection. It may have been served a little better ending with <em><strong>Don't Play With Your Food</strong></em> or <em><strong>Til Death We Meet Again</strong></em>, but I have seen other collections end with far weaker stories than<em><strong> Caged</strong></em>, which is a pretty good story. Overall <u><em><strong>Flashes From The Grave</strong></em></u> is proof that Lisa McCourt Hollar does not just write "kid stuff" and neither is she a one trick pony. Looking at it against <u><em><strong>Halloween Frights</strong></em></u> it is plain to see that Mrs. Hollar's writing only continues to improve and advance as well.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Like Diana Trees and the author formerly known as Poppy Z. Brite Mrs. Hollar delivers in the above works tales that are real, gritty and sometimes uncomfortable to read, just as good horror should be. There has been a definite lack of this kind of story telling since the mid-1990s, and I can't wait for a novel length story to see what she does with a long and sustained story.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">You can find all three of these works on Amazon:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The Carnival: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Carnival-ebook/dp/B004YR77D8"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.amazon.com/The-Carnival-ebook/dp/B004YR77D8</span></a></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Halloween Frights: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Halloween-Frights-ebook/dp/B005PA94U2"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.amazon.com/Halloween-Frights-ebook/dp/B005PA94U2</span></a></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Flashes From The Grave: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Flashes-From-The-Grave-ebook/dp/B005A7QMZK/"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.amazon.com/Flashes-From-The-Grave-ebook/dp/B005A7QMZK/</span></a></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Lurk for all three of these great reads and acquaint yourself with Lisa McCourt Hollar if you have not already.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX6uOy_VJhiVxu9dleviVBkYVgis51hyphenhyphenVLCjAs512UyIYLue13zpFpRfv4TmAOyEUqinnbqq0ui7bV4QsPK7GC5CV5Kg6S4e_SGPiU9AteX90rdzn9pr7cfWQ_fok05Su1icC0l5TTHOx4/s1600/A+MV+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX6uOy_VJhiVxu9dleviVBkYVgis51hyphenhyphenVLCjAs512UyIYLue13zpFpRfv4TmAOyEUqinnbqq0ui7bV4QsPK7GC5CV5Kg6S4e_SGPiU9AteX90rdzn9pr7cfWQ_fok05Su1icC0l5TTHOx4/s1600/A+MV+1.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-23582731472319662032012-02-08T17:10:00.000-08:002012-02-12T02:57:01.738-08:00Room And Broad For The Night: Cheap Released As An eBook<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKXAICYUzERTOCRSvCq_ZbRnNePQYucDGL4U27_bweyAV-maT0mfXILQ06RSK1Hz1fcfawR7X30AEiAlzaC9otoGRxlM8V7DEEWlZkfJSDxtee2yz1XQlWx2IBp6t9pqkOHgZnYLS9ohew/s1600/RB+Cover+New.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKXAICYUzERTOCRSvCq_ZbRnNePQYucDGL4U27_bweyAV-maT0mfXILQ06RSK1Hz1fcfawR7X30AEiAlzaC9otoGRxlM8V7DEEWlZkfJSDxtee2yz1XQlWx2IBp6t9pqkOHgZnYLS9ohew/s640/RB+Cover+New.jpg" width="412" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">My mature woman/younger man hook-up erotica short story <em><strong>Room And Broad For The Night: Cheap</strong></em> is now available as an eBook from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, All Romance eBooks and OmniLit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">NO VACANCY...</span></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Cris Nash is on his way from North Carolina to Key West to begin his new job as a drummer in his old high school friend’s band.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once it starts getting late he decides to pull off of Interstate 95 and get away from the coast in search for a reasonable place to stay for the night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the middle of nowhere, in the midst of several motels with signs proclaiming NO VACANCY, he finally finds a motel that seems to fit the bill, until the woman at the desk tells him there’s no vacancy there either.</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">NO PROBLEM…</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">The woman running the desk knows somewhere that Cris can stay for the night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The price is fairly reasonable, as long as he’s willing to pay it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the payment is not one made in money!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;"><em><strong>Room And Broad For The Night: Cheap</strong></em> contains the original, never before published, 1994 version of the story as a special bonus!</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><strong>Warning:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This story contains mature themes and strong sexual content.</strong></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: orange;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Amazon:</span> </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Room-Broad-Night-Cheap-ebook/dp/B0076QZD94"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">http://www.amazon.com/Room-Broad-Night-Cheap-ebook/dp/B0076QZD94</span></a></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: orange;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Barnes & Noble:</span> </span><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/room-and-broad-for-the-night-michael-c-laney/1108621074"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;">http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/room-and-broad-for-the-night-michael-c-laney/1108621074</span></a></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: orange;">All Romance eBooks: <a href="http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-roomandbroadforthenightcheap-679134-144.html"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-roomandbroadforthenightcheap-679134-144.html</span></a></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: orange;">OmniLit: <span style="color: yellow;"> </span><a href="http://www.omnilit.com/product-roomandbroadforthenightcheap-679134-144.html"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.omnilit.com/product-roomandbroadforthenightcheap-679134-144.html</span></a></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: orange;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"> </span><br />
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</div>Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-9180808496020703422012-02-08T16:31:00.000-08:002012-02-22T09:25:16.672-08:00Older Is Bedder Released As An eBook<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzHjU5SR0AXOkPKkHeSdAjQsreHdZfWq1aDRgJu6BBJw-74iatZM72ei6E21X_7J-gvdAfMSuXFyi-8eQPHhFkmXRWb5qhbHCZRPK7NVQAUnLKDGaJJilb14AIx8NTNO3yDkV0B4K036A3/s1600/OIB+Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzHjU5SR0AXOkPKkHeSdAjQsreHdZfWq1aDRgJu6BBJw-74iatZM72ei6E21X_7J-gvdAfMSuXFyi-8eQPHhFkmXRWb5qhbHCZRPK7NVQAUnLKDGaJJilb14AIx8NTNO3yDkV0B4K036A3/s640/OIB+Cover.jpg" width="412" /></a></div><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">My very first erotica story <em><strong>Older Is Bedder</strong></em> is now available as an eBook from Amazon, and Barnes & Noble.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Johnny isn’t having a good day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The heat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His boss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re all getting on his nerves, but nothing gets on his nerves worse than working with the moody and sour Doris Walker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To make his day go from bad to worse Johnny offends Doris and gets in trouble at work, an act that has possible consequences outside of work.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Feeling his Friday can’t get any worse Johnny decides to cancel his evening plans to smooth things over with Doris with a face to face apology.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Soon, however, Johnny learns that Doris has other plans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For Doris Walker fancies herself as a cowgirl, of the kinky variety, and before the night is through she plans to teach Johnny that Older Is Bedder!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">A mature BDSM story featuring one kinky old cowgirl, and more!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><strong>Warning:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This story contains adult themes and strong sexual content.</strong></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Amazon: <span style="color: yellow;"> </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Older-Is-Bedder-ebook/dp/B0076QZD9Y"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.amazon.com/Older-Is-Bedder-ebook/dp/B0076QZD9Y</span></a></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;">Barnes & Noble: <span style="color: yellow;"> </span><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/older-is-bedder-michael-c-laney/1108620948"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/older-is-bedder-michael-c-laney/1108620948</span></a></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZDnOneEVA0PXvTY-2O2sEgW0XMfx7YbHtHao-Gp5mUSAHjt2Jhj4tBXrqqTOS93ngeJHjKCO8aV2WmTkWtUYnairyKUamOzAHcS1BmiPePo9M6iNVFvlA5sHPy20K6KQRmUXiJtpY3KGr/s1600/A+MV+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZDnOneEVA0PXvTY-2O2sEgW0XMfx7YbHtHao-Gp5mUSAHjt2Jhj4tBXrqqTOS93ngeJHjKCO8aV2WmTkWtUYnairyKUamOzAHcS1BmiPePo9M6iNVFvlA5sHPy20K6KQRmUXiJtpY3KGr/s200/A+MV+2.jpg" width="129" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: orange;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-77361967827833246432012-01-29T15:41:00.000-08:002012-01-29T15:41:34.017-08:00Review: The Chamber Of Pleasures by Opal Andrews<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1ScWa4d-u7KAwactsTIfJez3YwWVl_8inYPh01XY45_sXjrnABXyftbp9OMD8zjhZdtPXbD_MnLwgnEuxSyB7Wp20TCDQz_gaX98rXmNaHjAocCPXDlNsZR-rIgLDYXv0yJ9L8mAXXPsU/s1600/COP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1ScWa4d-u7KAwactsTIfJez3YwWVl_8inYPh01XY45_sXjrnABXyftbp9OMD8zjhZdtPXbD_MnLwgnEuxSyB7Wp20TCDQz_gaX98rXmNaHjAocCPXDlNsZR-rIgLDYXv0yJ9L8mAXXPsU/s640/COP.jpg" width="392" /></a></div><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Next up for review is a classic piece of, what I believe the old timers called, <em>"pornographic garbage",</em> from that age before the Internet and when you had to go to the store to get your porn the old fashioned way, the 80's, <u><em><strong>The Chamber Of Pleasures</strong></em></u> by Opal Andrews. It was kind of a treat to get a hold of this book, since I grew up on Bee Line cheapies and "letters" magazines. And as I began reading the story I found myself doubly delighted, because it seemed that Andrews was writing the same kind of story that I, myself, have always tried to tell. Unfortunately, like the 80's, nothing last forever.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;"><u><em><strong>The Chamber Of Pleasures</strong></em></u> is the story of Victoria, sole child in a poor family who goes to live with her Aunt Isobel, to relieve her parents' financial burden. Soon after moving in with her aunt Victoria's parents commit suicide, leaving her with her strict and somewhat domineering aunt, who decides to rename her Tori. Soon she learns a secret about her rich and dominant aunt, she's actually a submissive sex slave to her neighbor, Erik Parker, and his servants, Lois and Miles, a fact she learns by sneaking out one night and viewing the goings on through Parker's basement window.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The things she has seen through the basement window begin to give Tori ideas, fueling her need to masturbate, and masturbate often. Then her aunt goes back to Tori's home to take care of her parent's estate, and in her absence Parker and his servants kidnap Tori, teaching her that the chamber of pleasures is anything but.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The story starts out with a slow and steady pace, and looks very much like something other than trashy/shock fare, all told in diary form (mostly from Victoria's point of view). Once she's kidnapped what was an above average story begins to fall apart and becomes a gratuitous series of rape scenes (mainly anal), that our heroine flip-flops between loving and hating. Her life and actions after being released from her captors further devalues the beginning quarter of the novel. The faux Victorian style that Victoria writes in is slightly charming at first, but begins to get annoying after a while, even to the point that Lois makes fun of it during the period she had seized the diary and is relating what is happening to her during her imprisonment.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Of course it goes without saying the narrative provides plenty of unintentional humor as modern Tori attempts to describe sexual situations in a refined style. Andrews gives us such gems as:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"The poor mistreated ripe melons of her breasts jiggled and bounced and swung wildly."</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">And this line describing Lois and Miles engaging in oral sex:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"But now, even as I stared, the menacing cylinder of steely sexual flesh throbbed and jerked before the face of the kneeling Lois."</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">While masturbating Tori massages her breasts, noting:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"Without my awareness my own hands caught and massaged my bosom's soft round bulges, unconsciously crushing and worrying the swollen tips until I find them still tender as I write this..."</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">In describing herself giving oral sex Tori says:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"I ate him then, sliding my mouth and face up and down the big throbbing red pole of his sex until my forehead and strained, tautened cheeks glistened with sweat from my exertions."</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Wait! His pole of sex was red???</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Then there's this line describing anal sex:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"Ummm-m-m-mmm," I sighed, smiling as I felt the big solid prick slide up and up into the often opened and probed but still tight hot hole that leads up into my bowels."</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Yes, kids, I shit you not. Above is an example of the extreme lack of commas in the 1980's.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Of course Ms. Andrews is not above giving us a nice and romantic line. Like this one:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"He opened my thighs as he'd have pulled apart those of a suddenly coy whore."</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">And:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"I squealed and drummed my heels on the bed when his tight furry balls gushed their sperm deep into the receptacle for his masculine offering."</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Later on Tori is not afraid to take charge:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"I impaled my own rectum on the great shaft just as it started to spew forth its liquid lust!"</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Wouldn't that fall under post-mature lubrication more than premature ejaculation?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Finally, she knows that her lover has the ability to produce some strong swimmers, as she says:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: yellow;"><strong>"But we soon had him nestled between the cheeks of my bottom, pumping and pumping and soon he sent another lake of liquid seed up to meet that he had poured down my throat."</strong></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">All in all <u><em><strong>The Chamber Of Pleasures</strong></em></u> is not a totally terrible work, although it is not all that great, nor does it advocate Safe, Sane or Consensual BDSM. It was pretty obvious from the beginning of the novel that Opal Andrews could craft an interesting and engrossing story, but unfortunately once it got to the sex the story became as cheap and tawdry as any badly made porn film from the era. In the end <u><em><strong>The Chamber Of Pleasures</strong></em></u> gets Three Stars from me.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">You can get your copy of <u><em><strong>The Chamber Of Pleasures</strong></em></u> here:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Barnes & Noble: <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-chamber-of-pleasures-opal-andrews/1107746992"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-chamber-of-pleasures-opal-andrews/1107746992</span></a></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Lurk for it if you dare to brave horrible faux Victorian dialogue.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtWpKY3GtkGxFMQF1plqgf4MowdPx5zL-KVs2gz4ViXZ4TWijzdGFGSGIpNEagtqABHC9mb6Gnl14HIZNCVEb-gyapYZu_ZD30EBVasB8sHJz5yvSjCNmn6Ufxu_ljf0KMyxUDJuuR-uWW/s1600/A+MV+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtWpKY3GtkGxFMQF1plqgf4MowdPx5zL-KVs2gz4ViXZ4TWijzdGFGSGIpNEagtqABHC9mb6Gnl14HIZNCVEb-gyapYZu_ZD30EBVasB8sHJz5yvSjCNmn6Ufxu_ljf0KMyxUDJuuR-uWW/s1600/A+MV+1.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-49616050365456951672012-01-29T08:21:00.000-08:002012-01-29T08:21:30.069-08:00Review: Seychelles Sunset by Lynne Connolly<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha7_Fwr1YQbv5XvfNP877mtBEaf9hxl1sIZer0rsLuK1lZebcrc4fEVdbP9I-rgmuq3m_jQk9ODgj3oJGjIB6MoAlM_h4uMbjug86uiebrd9mCBHBdSTYcdkb_Dc-evsXEKp9A2ALI7aJl/s1600/SSSS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha7_Fwr1YQbv5XvfNP877mtBEaf9hxl1sIZer0rsLuK1lZebcrc4fEVdbP9I-rgmuq3m_jQk9ODgj3oJGjIB6MoAlM_h4uMbjug86uiebrd9mCBHBdSTYcdkb_Dc-evsXEKp9A2ALI7aJl/s400/SSSS.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The next foray into the erotic romance cheese cave is yet another "<u><strong>Naughty Nooner</strong></u>". This time out <em><strong>Seychelles Sunset</strong></em> by Lynne Connolly. There's nothing like a story with an exotic setting. Unfortunately, in this case, the exotic setting is pretty much in title alone, and really does nothing to add to the ambiance of the story.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Edie, a retired model and budding writer, is in her hotel room, awaiting the arrival of her plastic surgeon boyfriend, John. Edie is slightly insecure because she's ten years older than her boy toy. Plus, because she detest condoms she has just gotten back on the Pill at the ripe old age of 46. Her romantic get away seems to be turning into a downer when John calls and tells her he's still stuck in L.A. This leads to a bout of raunchy phone sex, which last until it is revealed that John is actually calling from inside her room.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The story itself is pretty basic, another story which looks like it has the quality one would expect out of someone still in high school. The exotic location is wasted, and completely comes off looking like a name chosen at random by the author, perhaps somewhere she's always wanted to go but has never actually been. The exposition is wasted by filling it with basically useless information, and it's even more wasteful here as Connolly is actually clever enough to use that information at the end of the story to book end it (Yeah, Creative Writing 101, Trick #1). The fact that the story revolves around an older woman and a younger man is presented as a major point, but actually turns out coming off as more passe than it really is in Connolly's hands. Everything beyond the story's brief sex scene is a jumbled mess, that again screams, "High School Writing Assignment!". Plus I can't imagine that anyone did not actually figure out the twist of John actually calling her from somewhere else within their suite from about "Hello", I mean it was just that painfully obvious that that was how the story was going to go.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I give <em><strong>Seychelles Sunset</strong></em> Three Stars. Despite the muddled mess that this story is it is plain to see that Lynne Connolly does have talent and imagination, and in the end I think this story would have been better served with a much longer length and more focus on its exotic location to add further ambiance. The story itself has received mixed reviews on both Amazon and Barnes & Noble, with an average review of Three Stars on both. Looking at the reviews of her works on Good Reads she has an average of a Four Star rating on most of her other stories, an indication to me that she perhaps actually does do better when writing in a longer format than the limited <u><strong>Naughty Nooners</strong></u> one.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">You can find your copy <em><strong>Seychelles Sunset</strong></em> here:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Amazon: <span style="color: yellow;"> </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Seychelles-Sunset-ebook/dp/B003SX12BM"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.amazon.com/Seychelles-Sunset-ebook/dp/B003SX12BM</span></a></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">Barnes & Noble: <span style="color: yellow;"> </span><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/seychelles-sunset-lynne-connolly/1022140619"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/seychelles-sunset-lynne-connolly/1022140619</span></a></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">All Romance eBooks: <a href="http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-seychellessunset-437886-144.html"><span style="color: yellow;">http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-seychellessunset-437886-144.html</span></a></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWqzCUeeZ1kPM6t5yQsU_754c7slFVmrnLAeb4lU7DXK9MMx_BsNXO6HikJUIEZhCGpAggFEY4ajA4feNNHbJGG_EL5BmdOHcShrLeyCuR8KlMALjSVSYPX64-sIuyUAu3wMnwYBs5AVqk/s1600/A+MV+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWqzCUeeZ1kPM6t5yQsU_754c7slFVmrnLAeb4lU7DXK9MMx_BsNXO6HikJUIEZhCGpAggFEY4ajA4feNNHbJGG_EL5BmdOHcShrLeyCuR8KlMALjSVSYPX64-sIuyUAu3wMnwYBs5AVqk/s1600/A+MV+1.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663465590327615348.post-18956251312700386742012-01-29T07:21:00.000-08:002012-01-29T07:21:04.802-08:00Review: Wolfsbane by William W. Johnstone<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh85yiwVfUwozwcVxValAUB6B9DwpbDptJomMIaeQS8CAdG8zd8U4wxXdKLbO2AWL7sc8eHlJEXDyYii7axrb6SGmqBAVB484FVpIwKszMn-GBo-TFSE4dt_YKjrm5m0Ocd_cjDt0kQiaxt/s1600/Wolfsbane.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh85yiwVfUwozwcVxValAUB6B9DwpbDptJomMIaeQS8CAdG8zd8U4wxXdKLbO2AWL7sc8eHlJEXDyYii7axrb6SGmqBAVB484FVpIwKszMn-GBo-TFSE4dt_YKjrm5m0Ocd_cjDt0kQiaxt/s640/Wolfsbane.jpg" width="384" /></a></div><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">They say that you never forget your first, and for me this one was a first in two areas. Not only was <u><em><strong>Wolfsbane</strong></em></u> my first William W. Johnstone book, but it was also the first book I ever owned from Zebra Books. Published in the late 1980's the book came from a time when Zebra's Horror imprint was on top and nearly every edition had a skull or skeleton in the artwork on the cover. (And as I am sure you know I have a huge skull and skeleton fetish.)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">The story was my introduction to the typical Johnstone horror tale, featuring monsters, cults, Satanism, a former war hero/soldier of fortune male lead, salacious sex and graphic violence. Johnstone's horror to many is a cheap man's Stephen King, penny dreadfuls churned out in a hackish, but endearing style. In this story a cult of Satanic werewolves has set up shop in Durcos Parrish, Louisiana, to do the dirty work of the Dark Lord, as well as assorted other naughty things, and it's up to Johnstone's dye-cut, bad ass, hero to take them all down.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I have to admit that William W. Johnstone is one of my favorites, and despite his style and sometimes carbon-copy (plug cliche in here) storytelling and stories, I do count him in as one of my influences because one thing he always was innovative with was coming up with new ways to maim and dismember victims in his stories. Of course, when I speak of William W. Johnstone I do mean the actual William W. Johnstone and not the "continuation" of his western works since his death in 2004 by "J.A. Johnstone" or other ghost writers. <u><em><strong>Wolfsbane</strong></em></u> itself is from a time when Johnstone's horror work was beginning to really take off. It is not my favorite Johnstone book, but it did hold my interest enough to make me want to buy more of his works, thus turning me into a rabid Johnstone fan.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: orange;">I give <u><em><strong>Wolfsbane</strong></em></u> by William W. Johnstone Four Stars. If you have never read him before he is well worth the read, and he was a very versatile writer in his time, writing not only horror and westerns, but also men's adventure, post apocalyptic and even contemporary romance. Many of his horror stories are out-of-print, but if you can find one in good condition and at a reasonable price I can assure you that you've found gold. Be sure to keep a lurk out for this blast from the past!</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhERiTkV-NP2OSzNKXyzNWSC5Sn-8mPYD2My-FUkBPvuEZZldqIlEk1zSGcc9Q9mYI2H-48BCeUFHB4p27H8STWFdnljRN-GPa640nJBhDTq7aGWYvv-6nQ4Tbll4degbgK9f1jJxG2-1bZ/s1600/A+MV+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhERiTkV-NP2OSzNKXyzNWSC5Sn-8mPYD2My-FUkBPvuEZZldqIlEk1zSGcc9Q9mYI2H-48BCeUFHB4p27H8STWFdnljRN-GPa640nJBhDTq7aGWYvv-6nQ4Tbll4degbgK9f1jJxG2-1bZ/s200/A+MV+2.jpg" width="129" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: yellow; font-size: small;">Master Vyle</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Master Vylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14271308160614058451noreply@blogger.com0