Saturday, July 23, 2011

Review: Goose Girl by Giselle Renarde

There are some things out there that make you shake your head to yourself as you try and figure out exactly what to say about them.  When you take the classic Brothers Grimm fairy tale, "Tale Number 89 (The Goose Girl)", add some lesbian eroticism with a modern twist, and throw in a dash of what the author herself admits is a heavy Robin Hood Men In Tights influence, and what you've got is Giselle Renarde's Goose Girl.  Now it does help to be familiar with the Grimm tale that the plot, characters and story are culled from, but it is not totally necessary.  But then again it helps.

I hadn't read the Grimm Fairy Tale until after reading Giselle's novella, and I have to admit it helped me get a slightly better grasp on the story's inspiration.  In Goose Girl the reader is presented with a faithful spoof of its inspiration, that at no point takes itself too seriously.  The author herself told me that she felt it was either a love it or hate it kind of story, and I have to admit I totally understood as I have a few stories of my own that are that way.

Goose Girl tells the story of a princess-to-be who is on the way to meet and marry the prince she is betrothed to, carrying a handkerchief with her mother's blood on it and riding a talking horse.  Along the way her scheming hand maid forces her to change places with her, including clothing and horses.  Once the maid has situated herself within the royal household she has the talking horse killed, and the real princess is sent to help tend the local geese with an amorous male goose keeper.  After a time the princess's true identity comes to light, and the scheming maid is punished.

Yes, the story is pretty much that same as Grimms' The Goose Girl, with the addition of lesbian sex, a voyeuristic king, a wimpy prince, and a goose lovin' goose keeper who has his little penis blown away on the wind instead of his hat.  Oh, and I forgot to mention, one hairy assed, butch, scheming maid.  I've been with a hairy chick in the past, but at least I could put a hand between her boobs and cover it.  Renarde's Rosamunda is just as hairy as Juliette in Troma's Tromeo And Juliette after she takes the potion that turns her into a human-donkey hybrid with male parts!  Add to that the fact that Renarde adds the term poultry-sexual to the English language, and you got some comic gold.

In this novella Giselle Renarde presents us with such, should be, classic dialogue as:

"Oh, my dearest, Rosamunda, riding this way has my precious cavern flowing with love nectar.  I feel I would die without immediate gratification. I beg you, dismount, and take a drink from my cup."


"She rubbed faster and faster, her big breasts bouncing, until the pleasure was so vast she had to squeeze her eyes shut just to stay sane."


And I did close my eyes at that point to keep from going insane with laughter.

Is Goose Girl terrible?  Well that depends on your point of view.  If you have an open mind and a good sense of humor you'll love it.  If you're a stick in the mud, or hoping to be titillated to the point you have to stop reading and masturbate before going on you'll hate it.  Goose Girl is erotic comedy, but the emphasis is on comedy and not steamy sex scenes.

I give it four stars overall, and in part because I went back and read the Grimm story it is based on.  For me knowing the initial story helped put Renade's take on in into perspective.  It's not totally necessary to know the fairy tale, but it helps, especially for someone who begins reading this with the expectations it is going to be more sex than ha, ha.

Goose Girl by Giselle Renarde is available as an eBook or download
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You can follow Giselle Renarde on Twitter @GiselleRenarde .  Or check her out on her own sites:


Giselle is a very prolific writer, and it seems on almost every site I go to where she is mentioned I find there are more and more stories written by  her than on the last site I researched her on.  She writes in a number of genres and many of her stories deal with LGBT themes.  She's not afraid to take a risk and does not take herself too seriously, and that is enough to earn her a ton of respect from Me.  Be sure to check her out, because I can't wait to delve into her other works to see what they are like.

Master Vyle

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