Showing posts with label reviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reviews. Show all posts

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Review: Jolly Rogering by Aussiescribbler


There's nothing quite like a good story that has sex and pirates, and when you throw Aussiescribbler into the mix you've got a Funny Boner, a story that goes beyond the usual fan fiction pirate fare involving Elizabeth Swan, Nico Robin, "Cat Burglar" Nami, Roranora Zorro, Chef Sanji and Captain Jack Sparrow doing naughty and sweaty things to and with each other.  Yes, the awesome Aussie delivers a two-for-one double shot with this mini-collection filled with his own Down Under brand of humor erotica that's guaranteed to make you giggle more than grab yourself.  If you're looking for a deep and historically accurate tale to beat off to, FORGET IT!  But if you're looking for a great story to put a smile on your face and make you snicker every time you think about it like a little kid having a dirty little thought, then this pair of stories is right up your alley.

Jolly Rogering
Agatha has always dreamed of being a pirate, and when the Libertine arrives in port one day she decides to try her luck and disguise herself as a cabin boy and join the crew.  Everything works out for a while, but it's hard to hide the fact that you're a horny girl pirate in the middle of a crew of horny boy pirates, especially when all the "facilities" are on deck.  In the end Agatha learns a whole new appreciation for the term "All Hands On Deck" (and a few other things on a few other places too).  Five Stars!

Washed Up
Robin Crusoe sneaks up onto the deck of the ship she's traveling on one night for a little scrumping with the first mate, until they're interrupted by the captain and he pushes he overboard so he's not caught caught having improper relations with a passenger.  Robin ends up stranded on an island all alone in this quick and clever retelling of Defoe's Robinson Crusoe with bits of  Mutiny On The Bounty and Castaway thrown in.  Bananas and cannibals and mutineers, oh my!  Five Stars!

Of course as a native Floridian I have a thing for pirates, beaches and tropical settings, and of course when you throw in raunchy sex and off humor and you have my full attention.  Again the awesome Aussie proves why he calls his stories Funny Boners, and if you're looking for something other than a straight-up exercise in racy raunch he's the man to try, because, again, he writes erotica for the thinking person, and he always delivers.

Here is where you can get your copy of Jolly Rogering:

Barnes & Noble:  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/jolly-rogering-aussie-scribbler/1107759472
iTunes Book Store:   http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/jolly-rogering/id483376546
Sony eBook Store:  http://ebookstore.sony.com/ebook/aussie-scribbler/jolly-rogering/_/R-400000000000000551533

Master Vyle

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Lisa McCourt Hollar: A Triple-Shot Review!


To start with I have to say that my initial intention was to do my standard, single review on a single work, because thus far I have only done a couple of reviews where  I included more than one work by the same author (always a sign of an exceptional talent).   I also have to state that it was my initial intention to have that review done about three weeks ago as well, along with an entire laundry list of other things that, as always, went on the back burner due to my recurrent migraines and other assorted and endless disasters.

But enough about my issues, let's talk about Lisa McCourt Hollar.  If you follow this blog you may know that I first became acquainted with Mrs. Hollar's works back around Halloween when I read her short story Sam, a sweet little tale of a boy and his flesh eating, zombie, goldfish.  I found it to be a quaint and endearing little story, and from the author's bio at the end I was really under the impression that Mrs. Hollar was mainly into the YA and "Children's" horror scenes, someone who told tales that were grodie enough to be cool, but safe enough for the local PTA to approve of.

A couple of months later, during the Twelve Nights Of Creepfest Blog Hop, I learned that Mrs. Hollar was a little more edgy than I though after getting a look at a work that was still somewhat in progress on her blog.  I realized there was more to Lisa McCourt Hollar than I had thought at first glance, but yet I really didn't get the fact that she wrote the kind of things your local PTA wouldn't approve of.  In fact it was not until getting through the following stories that I knew how gritty and edgy Lisa McCourt Hollar was, not only writing the type of story I love to read, but the type I love to write as well.


First up is a stand alone short story The Carnival.  Pregnant at 15 Lucy has been confined to her home by her father, the mayor, to avoid a scandal, but she will do anything to be reunited with her lover Tom.  When the little clown arrives at her house with a message from Tom to follow him she does without a single though, straight into an unimaginable nightmare.

It's pretty hard to say much more without giving too much of the story away.  I can tell you it's not a tale for the faint of heart or prudish.  The story itself is very well written, although it does becomes slightly predictable near the end.  I give it Four Stars.


The second body of Mrs. Hollar's work up for review is a short story collection Halloween Frights.  This is a fairly easy read, and most of the individual stories are only a few pages long, but their length does nothing to lessen their impact.

'Joe's Night Out'
A sweet little poem about crazy Joe heading to the cemetery to dig up a few friends for Halloween.  Five Stars.

Happy Halloween
Sandra finally has what she's wanted since the day she married George.  She's a widow.  Unfortunately she's not quite as alone as she seems.  Four Stars.

Taxidermy Nightmare
On Halloween Night most of the kids avoid the Harper house, because they say deformed Tom does some crazy things.  They may be right.  Three Stars.

Dolly
Francine's daughter Annie is acting out, but it isn't her fault.  Dolly is the one telling her to do bad things.  Three Stars.

Things That Go Bump In The Night
Tasha can't sleep.  There's a monster under her bed that wants to eat her toes.  She knows it.  Just knows it.  But who is more scary in the end?  Five stars.

The Beast Inside
There are times when you shouldn't tease someone.  There are times when you shouldn't be a bully.  And a group of neighborhood kids is about to learn their lesson too late.  Five Stars.

The Voices
Francine and her mother move into a haunted house where the past replays itself.  Four Stars.

Eternity
There's a killer in the house, but it's okay because he can never, never, touch you.  Five Stars.

Family Lore
A young woman discovers she is descended from a long line of witches, but it seems like someone else may have already known first.  Four Stars.

Weekend Escape
A woman's unseasonal trip to her summer house becomes an exercise in terror when an escaped killer joins her on her retreat.  Five Stars.

Vampire's Hollow
Judith dreams of a man coming to her in the night as her family crosses to America.  Once she arrives she follows him into the wilderness, the mysterious Tiberius Crane.  Then, she learns his plans for her, and her torment begins.  Five Stars.

An overall Five Star collection.  Some of the stories are easy to figure out, and you see the twist in them coming, and I never could find the little girl's motivation in Dolly, but  Things That Go Bump In The Night is cute and The Beast Within is an awesome mix of anti-bullying tale and gorefest, while Vampire's Hollow is filled with the edginess and grit most stories out there are lacking.


The final of our trio of Lisa McCourt Hollar works up for review is the short story collection Flashes From The Grave, which was the work I had set out to initially review in the first place.  As with the previous collection it is filled with very short stories which are to the point and impactful.  Throughout this collection Mrs. Hollar also demonstrates her range as a writer, throwing in a little comedy this time out as well.

Zombie Beach
A woman attempts to save her young daughter from the zombie horde by swimming out onto a raft anchored in the ocean.  Zombies can't swim, can they?  Five stars.

The Rat King
A gritty tale of a young woman driven to seek revenge on the creature that murdered her baby sister, and made her into a thing like him.  Five Stars.

The Vampire Hunter's Wife
Bride.  Assistant.  Prisoner.   A madman's slave finds salvation in an unlikely source.  Five Stars.

The Zombie Reunification Act
In a world overrun by zombies there's only one thing the government can do, put them to work.  A taste of the lighter side of Lisa McCourt Hollar.  Five Stars.

Don't Play With Your Food
A tale of cannibalism and revenge.  A story so horrifyingly over the top it has to be read to be appreciated.  Six Stars!

The Bearded Man
Tabitha dreams that the Bearded Man is coming to take her children, even though she has not had any yet.  Four Stars.

The Birth Of Evil
A brother and sister learn too late that they are part of a plot to bring about the beginning of the end.  Five Stars.

No Respect For The Dead
It's one of those old "There Goes The Neighborhood" stories with a twist, and another example of Mrs. Hollar's lighter side as a vampire has to deal with some undesirable new neighbors.  Four Stars.

The Uninvited
The scene of a wedding reception ruined as the zombie apocalypse begins.  Four Stars.

Dear Charlie

Charlie is a diligent worker with OCD.  Nothing will keep him from getting his job at a small diner done, even death, a fact the local health department is sure to frown on.  Again the humor of Lisa McCourt Hollar shines through in one of her funniest tales.  Five Stars.

The Circle Of Life
A brief scene from the zombie apocalypse told from the zombie point of view.  Five Stars.

Til Death We Meet Again
Every night Selina gets ready, waiting for the vampire she met when she was a young woman to come and take her so she can be with him forever.  Now she is an old woman at death's door, and as her wait nears its end someone else's wait is about to begin.  Five Stars.

Caged
Tabby deals in exotic animals, when your definition of what an animal is is broad.  She captures them, cages them, trains them and sells the ones who live to the highest bidder.  Four Stars.

Again with Flashes From The Grave Lisa McCourt Hollar delivers an overall Five Star collection.  It may have been served a little better ending with Don't Play With Your Food or Til Death We Meet Again, but I have seen other collections end with far weaker stories than Caged, which is a pretty good story.  Overall Flashes From The Grave is proof that Lisa McCourt Hollar does not just write "kid stuff" and neither is she a one trick pony.  Looking at it against Halloween Frights it is plain to see that Mrs. Hollar's writing only continues to improve and advance as well.

Like Diana Trees and the author formerly known as Poppy Z. Brite Mrs. Hollar delivers in the above works tales that are real, gritty and sometimes uncomfortable to read, just as good horror should be.  There has been a definite lack of this kind of story telling since the mid-1990s, and I can't wait for a novel length story to see what she does with a long and sustained story.

You can find all three of these works on Amazon:

The Carnival:  http://www.amazon.com/The-Carnival-ebook/dp/B004YR77D8
Halloween Frights:  http://www.amazon.com/Halloween-Frights-ebook/dp/B005PA94U2
Flashes From The Grave:  http://www.amazon.com/Flashes-From-The-Grave-ebook/dp/B005A7QMZK/

Lurk for all three of these great reads and acquaint yourself with Lisa McCourt Hollar if you have not already.

Master Vyle

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Review: Lusting While Dusting by Aussiescribbler



If you've ever been a member of a story submission site, and you like hanging out in the forums then you've probably come across an author or two who looks pretty interesting, and you say to yourself, Yeah, I should check their stuff out.  However, either your own work, or a list of other things to read (or do) keeps you from getting around to it.  There was such a person when I was a member of Lushstories that fell into that category, someone who was on my "to read" list, but  I never got to.  Well, one of the few things good that happened after I joined das FaceBooken was that I came across that person again, one Aussiescribbler.  And I have to say that I'm glad to have found the time to give him a read as the awesome Aussiescribbler brings a unique blend of comedy and eroticism in little doses that always leave a smile on my face by the time I get to the end.  (And how many people can say that an erotic story made them smile while still dressed from the waist down?)  If you've ever had the pleasure of reading any of Auss's stories you know why he calls them Funny Boners.

First in the que of the awesome Aussie's stories that I have been sitting on is a little tale by the name of Lusting While Dusting.  It's a very quick read about a man who works for a fully nude cleaning service.  His one client, Dora, is quite a problem.  She's always being suggestive as to the things he should clean.  The rules are specific about employee/customer contact, but when you're as inventive as Da-da, da-da-da, Dora, there's always a way around the rules!

I was going to quote my favorite line from this little story, but it is such a short piece that I'm afraid that it would give too much away.  One of Auss's greatest talents is telling an entertaining story in a very few pages and making it work.  That's why Lusting While Dusting is every bit worth the Five Stars I'm giving it.

Now, here's the best part.  Right now, at this moment, Aussiescribbler is making his entire body of work free, so it's a great time to become acquainted with the erotic humor author from Down Under.

You can get your copy of Lusting While Dusting here:

Smashwords:  http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/103413
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/lusting-while-dusting-aussie-scribbler/1107759502
iTunes Book Store: http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/lusting-while-dusting/id483400591?mt=11
getfreebooks: http://www.getfreeebooks.com/?p=7512
Free eBook Online:  http://www.freeebookonline.org/fiction/lusting-while-dusting-by-aussiescribbler/
Sony eBook Store:  http://ebookstore.sony.com/ebook/aussie-scribbler/lusting-while-dusting/_/R-400000000000000551656
Diesel eBook Store:  http://www.diesel-ebooks.com/item/SW00000103413/Scribbler-Aussie-Lusting-While-Dusting/1.html

Be sure to lurk for it as well as Mr. Scribbler's other fine works.

Master Vyle
   

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Review: Maui Heat by Ari Thatcher


Well that time is here folks, the first review of the New Year!  I have a lot to start clearing through to get my backlog in order, so I decided to start with a little erotic romance cheese.  And, oh yeah, if I'm saying it's cheese (if the cover picture was not enough of an indication) then it must be from Ellora's Cave.  "Mmmmm.... If it says Ellora's Cave it must be cheese".  Yep, it's another (FANFARE) Naughty Nooner, this time from one Ari Thatcher, whose Amazon bio picture makes her look like Sally Spectra on crack.

I will admit that I had initially looked forward to reading this story, because with a title like Maui Heat it brought up images of the islands and beaches, and of course the lady vyle and I someday want to visit Hawaii if we never do anything else.  However, as I'm sure you know, my expectations were sharply lowered after reading several of the other high noon stink cheese freebie specials that EC offers at the exact price they're worth, FREE!

Maui Heat is the story of Maggie and Gabe, two college students who are working at a resort in Maui over their summer break.  And first off let me break into an aside and say what a neato, cool summer job that would be.  In fact I'm sure all the money they made over the summer would actually cover their round-trip airfare to get there, as well as meals if they were not provided as a condition of their employment.  Yes, I'm sure that the local Hawaiians love students from colleges flying in from all over to take their summer jobs.  Wait, summer jobs in Hawaii?  Isn't it summer year round there?

Okay, sorry.  I'm getting carried away doing that thing that drives Gina Kincade crazy about me, applying facts and logic to cheesy romantic erotica.  And really I should especially not care at all about the story since I'm a man.  Get me through the mire so I can get to the stroke worthy stuff.  (Oh, but only if there had been some stroke worthy stuff to be found.)

Let me get back to our two rejects who had to go to Maui and work at a resort instead of joining the Disney college program.  It's the last night of the summer, and as the Rock would say, "FINALLY, Maggie and Gabe have decided to hook up!"  Aren't there like 104 days of summer vacation?  I know I'm getting back into a little Disney territory, but I am sure that the theme song to Phineas And Ferb plainly states, "There's 104 days of summer vacation, till school comes along just to end it".  But anyway.... last night of summer, two horny college students who live across the country from each other, finally deciding to hook-up, erotic romance cheese!!!

Hey, Maggie, I know what we're going to do today.

Yeah, on that very last night, they're gonna fuck, or as they say in erotic romance they're gonna MAKE LOVE  and PROBABLY FALL IN LOVE FOREVER... or some such crap.

Laughable?  Laughable?

Well it seems that good little Maggie has admired her dreamboat from afar all summer.  Keeping it real however, Gabe...

"...hooked up with one or two of the girls he knew he wouldn't get attached."

Maggie:  Oh, Gabe, please, oh please, pull out your club and knock me out so you can drag me by the hair deeply into Ellora's Cave and I'll be your woman forever!

Even for a Naughty Nooner short Maui Heat is tedious, mainly because Ms. Thatcher attempts to make it into an actual story.  Unfortunately her attempt to tell a story is negated by the fact that the story she tries to tell is not at all interesting.  Just as the get it on is coming Gabe is pulled away to break up a fight somewhere, and Maggie is left all on her own, thinking he will never come back and getting groped be a drunk who seems to have a little more interest in her than her man slut Gabe.

They finally do get together and alone, and Ms. Thatcher whops out her can of spray cheese to give them a healthy squirt with lines such as...

" 'So tight.  You're milking me already.'  He thrust again, withdrew, and reached to find her clit with his thumb.  'I want you there with me.  Come with me, baby.' "

Well... Go!  Go Gadget Thumb!  Where the hell was Shain Brown to read me that in his falsetto Arnold voice and make me really laugh?

Then of course there's the obligatory...

"Their lovemaking had taken her far beyond any place she could have ever imagined."  (Yep, and it took one or two other girls there earlier in the summer as well.  Too bad it didn't take me there.)  "No matter what happened after they went their separate ways, she would always have this night."

Oh, gasp.  Oh, gush!  Oh, BALONEY!

The most entertaining little nugget of unintentional humor comes in the author's bio, where it states that...

"Ari Thatcher is a native Los Angelean who is avidly approaching her cougar years."

She's "avidly approaching her cougar years" !  How the hell do you avidly approach anything?

You are from Los Angeles, check,  You look kind of like Sally Spectra, check.  Mmmmm... but not enough like Sally Spectra for me, so that'll be a rain check, you wascally cougar, you!  Doctor please come and get me with your TARDIS and take me to the set of The Bold And The Beautiful somewhere around 1989 when Darlene Conley was alive and hot!

Additionally her bio states that...

"When she's not hunting her next prey, she can be found writing down her fantasies."

I can guess which one she does more of.  I can also tell you that she does that very poorly.

Across several sites Maui Heat has gotten mixed reviews, though mainly negative ones, and it averages somewhere in the neighborhood of Two Stars.  Me, well I'm not that generous.  Maui Heat rates One Star with me and it did nothing to entice me to read its sequel, Maui Rekindled, or any of Thatcher's other works.

If you can't do without this piece of freebie cheese in your collection you can find it here:

Amazon.Com:  http://www.amazon.com/Maui-Heat-ebook/dp/B003SX0Y5C
Sony eReader Store:   http://ebookstore.sony.com/ebook/ari-thatcher/maui-heat/_/R-400000000000000237549

Lurk it up if you dare!



Master Vyle


Sunday, December 18, 2011

Review: A Very Cougar Christmas by Lex Valentine


Here is my review of the other story I initially downloaded in September and was holding for the holiday season so that a review for it would be timely.  When I finally opened it up and started reading I was pleasantly surprised, and unusually optimistic that I had come across that one in a million story in the "erotic romance" genre that was above and beyond the average drivel.  As I became engrossed in the story I was on that edge, feeling I was looking at a work that was a Five Star all the way.  I was even willing to overlook the misuse of terminology as Nikki, the female lead in the story, is not a woman out there on the prowl for a younger man.

Then, just as I was expecting A Very Cougar Christmas to deliver, it turned right into another chunk of lameness from the erotic romance grist mill.  I was so disappointed when this story turned away from a great example of writing craftsmanship into another below average exercise in the idiotic.  It was like Jack Frost suddenly ran by and snatched Frosty's hat off to make him turn back into a plain old snowman.

A Very Cougar Christmas is the story of Nikki, a successful business woman who is alone and very lonely on Christmas, which also happens to be her birthday.  Enter Vincent, her younger and concerned neighbor.  When the delivery man leaves a package with him because she refuses to answer the door Vincent attempts to deliver it himself and can hear her crying on the other side of her door.  Once he realizes and tells her that he is locked out of his own apartment she finally relents and lets him in.  Then after some talking and further  breaking down Nikki seeks comfort from the sexy boy next door.

Yeah, and believe it or not it was all good up until that point.  Then the shy guy that locked himself out of his own apartment who was hardly dressed and only wearing flip flops for shoes during a snow storm is able to produce a pocket full of rubbers.  And yes that image from Snoop Dogg's 'Gin And Juice' video was going through my mind for the rest of the length of the story.  Following "round one" Vincent urges Nikki to open her package, which turns out to be a sex toy, which he confesses that he sent her.  I though to myself, Oh, how timely, since just that morning I had read a story in the Orlando Sentinel about a man sending a sex toy to a woman.  Yeah, Lex, we call that stalking and inappropriate down here in Florida, and it gets people jail time.  But, what am I thinking?  It is erotic romance, so instead of totally freaking out or fearing for her life our erstwhile heroine is going to show her little stud muffin how to work it as a prelude to round two.

From bad to worse, guess what?  Looks like mercy Christmas scrumpin' is a great way to start a long term relationship.

???

Eh, boy.  I give it Two Stars only because this short little story actually starts out strong.  Lex Valentine actually has talent, and it really shows in the first quarter of the story.  In a way it almost looked like a chain story that was begun by someone who was totally brilliant before they passed it on for it to be finished out by a secession of idiots.

I did get a few laughs from a few lines in the story.

"I won't fuck you, you deserve better than that.  But I'd be more than happy to make love to you"

Yes, it was funny to read this line from Vincent correcting Nikki when she ask him if he would fuck her.  However, I was kind of that guy once, so I didn't really think it was all that bad.  It was corny, but it was realistically corny and I found it endearing.  (It was just after this that the story went from a Five to a Two).

After that, yeah, Vincent suddenly becomes less than sweetly romantical, especially when he says,

"Right now, I just want to get between your thighs.  Now, shall I take you upstairs, or shall I light a big fire in the fireplace and proceed to give you rug burn on your ass?"

Ooop!  The creepy stalker Vincent really is was showing through there kids.

Valentine goes on to give the reader this visual that no one should read with a full bladder:

"His fist twisted on his stiff cock, the movement smooth and practiced."

Yes, I get it.  Vincent jacks off, A-LOT!  Because that's what creepy stalker guys do.

Yeah, sorry again.  I did forget he can't be the stalker he so obviously is because it's an erotic romance story.  Here, let's take a look at a quality ER line:

"She sucked on him as if she was a little kid with a candy cane."

Merry Christmas, folks!  Good job, Ms. Valentine.  That was some USDA Grade A Erotic Romance cheese.

"Well, then, my sexy cougar, you're not too old to get pregnant."

Oh, Vincent, you romantical young stud you!  No wonder I always had a problem with women when I was younger.  I obviously was not saying the right things to them.

Now, again, this is another free read that offers a look at some of Ms. Valentine's other works, offering several chapters from books in her Tales Of The Darkworld Series.  In the past, a great deal of the time, I have not really mentioned samples provided with freebies, however I am going to take more of a look at them, especially when the previews exceed the length of the title story.  The series, as I understand it now from having read the assortment of chapters from various books in it, appears to revolve around vampires, and were-things, and elves, and stuff.  Yeah...

The story in part revolves around a powerful vampire family and a powerful group of were-dragons who are all some way involved in the funeral business.  Uh-hu, that's right.  There's much talk through the chapters about the were-dragons feeling their "inner dragon", which as far as I can tell is Ms. Valentine's code for them feeling horny.  As with Blaine's Mates there are no transformations, at least not in the samples, so I have no idea what it means for anyone to be a dragon in any of these stories.

The only line from any of the samples I even found remotely interesting was this one from the first book, Tales Of The Darkworld Book 1: Shifting Winds:

"Granville Cemetery was very old and catered to the elite in the vampire world.  They offered cremation, but vampires tended not to go that route."

So, the practically immortal worry about having a decent burial plot?  Coffins.  Yeah, I could understand a coffin, but a story where a cemetery caters to the upper crust of vampire society to take care of all their burial needs?  I think it's pretty obvious that Ms. Valentine has never read The Vampire Encyclopedia.

As with so many others before them the samples provided with A Very Cougar Christmas do nothing to sell me on actually buying them.  Tales Of The Darkworld is another example of a fairly new genre where the author immediately attempts to immerse the reader in a world populated with supernatural creatures with little exposition while throwing everything including the kitchen sink at them in an attempt to keep the reader's interest.  Having not read the books I can only speculate, but from other examples from other authors in this conglomeration genre are trying to give you an epic tale within 200 to 300 pages while either not possessing the talent to do it in such a small format or being far too lazy to take the time and actually write an epic length story.

As for the title story, A Very Cougar Christmas, according to the ratings it has it would appear I am in the minority in my opinion, because somehow it has a five star rating on ARe, and that's with 81 ratings on it as opposed to three or four.  If you want to give it a try it is offered as a free read:

All Romance eBooks:  http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-averycougarchristmas-398892-149.html

Below is a little rant on this conglomeration sub-genre, which I call the Conglomeration of Assorted Random Prose genre.  (Or is it Allied, or Affiliated, or Associated?  I can't make up my mind).  It should be good for a laugh for those who like to see me look like a stumbling and flubbing fool.


Master Vyle

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Review: Snowmen by James Melzer



This story and the next story up for review are a pair I got back in September, one horror and the other erotic, pretty much with the plan to keep them in reserve until December to have a little something to go along with the horrorday season.  With this story I feel that I found one that would fit in quite well with that plan, however, to paraphrase that old standard, "Never judge an eBook by its cover."

It isn't that Snowmen is an awful story, but it's not all that spectacular either.  It is a very brief tale of an elderly widower who builds a display made up of snowmen every winter in his front yard that becomes a local tradition with people coming from miles around to visit.  Edgar comes off as a kindly and lonely figure who takes pleasure in his project and the company it brings him, yet he has nightmares about his snowmen coming to life and coming after him, seemingly for no apparent reason and not really fitting into the tale of a kindly old man.

The story suffers the most due to its short length, and its failure to truly develop Edgar's character overall, or providing a sense of menace in regards to the malevolent snowmen in his dreams.  The surprise twist at the end really does nothing to enhance the story, and it took a second read and a week of thinking it over before I got the irony that was involved in the ending.  Overall it's a Three Star short story, and judging from the reviews and ratings on Melzer's other works compared to the ones on this one it's apparent that, at least other readers who have seen more from him, are of the opinion that he is capable of much better than this one.

Snowmen is in freebie territory and attached to it is a three chapter preview of Melzer's novella Hull's Landing, which far exceeds the length of the title story.  Hull's Landing, from what I have gathered from the preview, is a story about a group of men, some secret cult or order, that kidnaps a young woman, gang rapes her over the weekends, then ultimately kills her just before finding a replacement as part of a ritual that spans generations.  Just the sample and what was in it seemed to stretch the logic and credibility of such events too far, so it again ends up as one of those samples that does nothing to entice me to go out and put money down for, "The rest of the story," as the late, great, Paul Harvey used to say.

You can find you copy of Snowmen here.  Again it's not a totally awful little read, and probably is one of those stories that is no doubt more loved by the younger crowd than me:

Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Snowmen-ebook/dp/B003AZY6FM/

I'll be lurking for you later.  And also as Paul Harvey used to sign off, "Good day!"


Master Vyle


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Review: E-Rortica by J.K. Moore


Despite having shelves and boxes full of books, as well as a Kindle and folder on my PC nearly full of stories to read I am always on the look out for something new (and, often being that I am pretty literally a starving artist most of time, cheap as well) to add to my library.  So when one day on das FaceBooken there was another writer offering up a free copy of her latest work for review in an erotic writers group I jumped at the chance.  I had sort of "seen" her post in this particular group before, though I had not really read them or taken the time to get to know her.  Within a few days of taking her up on her offer she sent me a message curious to know if I had started reading, what was an erotic story collection, and I replied that I had not as life was going on and that I had quite a backlog of stories to read and review.  She responded back to let me know she would appreciate a review and a rating once I had the chance, and she let me know that I was really going to like her collection, and that if I had purchased it on my own I would have really been glad that I did.

Well, you know, of course, my first thought was, OH, BOY, (and rolling my eyes as I did so).  I felt pretty certain that here was another writer who was grossly overestimating their talent.  I should point out that at this time I had just made it to the midpoint of Danvers Asylum and received a response back from Gina Kincade regarding the problems I was finding with that highly endorsed story.  So once I was finished with that travesty I went straight into E-Rotica, almost sure it was going to be abysmal.  As I read the first story I found myself feeling I was right.  The story itself was not terrible, but it just didn't seem to make much sense, although the truth about what I was reading, what the story was, and was about, became more clear and defined at the very end.  Then I slept on that first story, really thinking it over and letting it sink in.  It was not that the story was insensible that was the problem as I read it, the problem was that it was deep, I had not went into the story thinking it would be deep, so the problem, as both a reader and a reviewer, was actually me.

The realization sank in the more I read.  And the more I considered what I was reading the more I knew that these were not stories you could simply read and "get it" (at least not all of them).  This is erotica for the thinking person.  These are the kind of stories I love!  I did not like every single story, but every single one was well written and well beyond sappy erotic romance and mindless porn scenes.  I would go as far as to say that Ms. Moore has the ability to get into the reader's head and make them reconsider their first impression of a story after they have though about it a little while after they finish it.  If anything I went in underestimating Ms. Moore's ability, and having sent a couple of messages to her since I initially finished reading the collection I believe that she underestimated herself as well, which is a lot to say about someone who has a great deal of confidence in their work to begin with.

What I found in E-Rotica is a great collection that is an excellent addition to my erotic reading library.  In fact I am already ready to take a look at her next collection, as well as getting my hands on her previously released works.  Ms. Moore delivers unique stories that are sometimes hard to pigeon hole or stick into one category, the kind of stories I know from past experience would be a nightmare trying to place on a story site to attract the maximum intended audience

Here's a look at the stories:



Decent Proposal
This first story is the one that had me coming and going.  It's not my favorite story in the collection, but by that same token it's not my least favorite story either.  I really, really kind of hated it until I reached the end.  After a couple of days of thinking it over I began to actually develop a grudging respect for it.  A man has the hots for his neighbor and she claims she has the hots for him as well, but things never seem to happen between the two of them whenever they get together.  A very unique take on the cuckold tale where the participants are not even in a relationship.  I rate it Four Stars due to the fact that the beginning is somewhat muddled.  I think the collection as a whole who have been better served if this was the third or fourth story instead of the lead in.  Still, once you understand there's more to this story than is on the surface it does open your eyes and mind to the fact that you need to be watchful throughout the rest of the collection.

The Pursuit Of Pleasure
The narrator of this story is indeed in the pursuit of pleasure, forever chasing after his neighbor, Ella, an erotic dancer and club performer.  She never really seems to notice him, so he lives a fantasy life in his head, spying on her as she has encounters with other men in the house across the way.  It is the study of a man who begins to realize that perhaps its the ideal of his perfect woman and being the voyeur on the outside means more to him than ever actually being in her life.  Five Stars.

Dark Desires
On a bench by the woods a woman submits to her lover's desires.  This is a true mind fuck story where most of the action occurs as the woman's internal dialogue as opposed to the physical, although it is there.  This one is short and sweet, but still manages to be thought provoking and though evoking.  Five Stars.

Historie d'E
This long story takes up a good majority of the length of the collection, which is saying volumes because the collection itself is pretty big.  I would have to say the Historie d'E is to E-Rotica what The Mist is to Stephen King's Skeleton Crew.  The story really didn't suit my tastes, however that does not keep it from being a good story, and perhaps its only fault was my impression that the individual segments within the story were uneven.  There was a great deal of exposition in the beginning with long scenes, where near the end some were quite short.  Then again, on sleeping on it the style of the story makes more sense considering this is the story of a relationship that becomes a long distance relationship, and if you've ever been there you know that a couple starts off with all the time in the world to spend together before it begins to grow shorter and shorter.  The sex is understated, but as I've already said this is not your standard "erotic romance" or wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am type of stories.  I was initially bored to tears with this story and began to wonder when it was ever going to end.  However, as with Decent Proposal, as I closed in on the end and then slept on the story I really opened myself up to what it was all about.  Five Stars.  This story features a long cameo by Ella from The Pursuit Of Pleasure, although she does not directly interact with the principal characters.

The Best Birthday Present A Girl Could Have
A woman puts on a show for her lover on her birthday with visions of getting a collar in her head as opposed to "simple" jewelry.  The lovers each tease each other as a way of Ms. Moore teasing the reader as well.  Another great little Five Star story.

When You Want Me More
A teasing game turns hot and steamy.  It's short but as you read it it actually feels like a much longer story.  A fair amount of teasing turns into one of the more graphic sex scenes in the collection.  Guy wasn't the only one rising to full mast on this one, and that's a rarity for me when reading other people's erotica.  Five Stars and a Stiffy!

Confessions Of A Stripper
Ella puts in her third appearance in the collection, this time as the story teller, giving a first person account of her own double life.  A great tale of reflection as Ella finds she has to admit that sometimes the different aspects of her two lives overlap and complete a more perfect picture of who she is.  Not as much erotic as expressing feelings of eroticism, but it works quite well.  Five Stars.

The Love And Sex Addicts Anonymous Group
This story was my personal favorite, as Ms. Moore shows a bit of her funny side.  A woman visits the titular support group with thoughts of perhaps seducing one of the other men or women in the group, but struggles with her conscience for even thinking about doing so.  Still it doesn't keep her from showing a little skin and teasing (not in the way you're thinking).  In some ways it does not quite fit in with the rest of the collection, and in other ways it's perfect and could have worked as either the lead in or the closing story.  Six Stars!  Oh, yeah!

Worship Me
A woman visits a fetish club and asserts her dominance over a respectful wallflower.  I usually never get invested in other people's BDSM stories, mainly due to the fact that the lifestyle is a personal and unique thing to every individual involved.  I read stories and a majority of the time I like them or I don't like them, only once in a great while does someone write one I love because it mirrors things in my own experience or it follows closely with my own personal philosophy about the lifestyle.  This is one of those stories I personally loved, meeting my Goldilocks Principal of being "Just right".  Another Six Star story in my book, and when combined with the preceding and seceding stories it is one of the reasons I do something I rarely ever do, and that's give it a high recommendation.

Toying With The Toy
Another BDSM story where a harsh Mistress teaches a novice sub a lesson in obedience and denial.  This one is hot in all the right places, and probably counts as the first story I have ever read that comes off as steamy and raunchy without a great deal of action focused on graphic sex acts, which I personally consider a feat.  Six Stars and a slight Stiffy!

Making Love Slowly
A young woman and her horror artist lover spend their time in deep conversation followed by hot, sweaty, slow lovemaking.  The beginning is paced like a the opening of a horror story, which was my first indication that Ms. Moore writes horror themed stories as well.  That different atmosphere is there, but there's no monsters other than the ones in the drawings, so the couple decides to make love and not monsters.  Five Stars.

Sexual Bliss
A woman stays after hours for some special, one-on-one, lessons from her yoga instructor.  For the most part I know it sounds like your average little trip in the erotic romance cheese cave, however in the hands of Ms. Moore the story is real, interesting, alive and entertaining.  Five Stars.

My Dirty Landlady
When a man has trouble with the boiler in his new flat it's the landlady to the rescue.  They're interrupted as she attempts to fix a little more than his boiler, so she promises to give him a call some other time.  When she finally gives him that call her tennant finds himself getting more than he bargined for.  This one is steamy and comedic as well, showing the lighter side of BDSM (or at least telling a tale people in the lifestyle will probably think is humorous).  Six Stars!

Fun At The Hotel
A quickie little scene between a couple visiting Las Vegas.  I found this one a little weak, and it would have probably been a better story for closer to the beginning of the collection as opposed to the end.  I did not feel the atmosphere as I did with other stories in the collection, despite the fact that the details were there.  It's still well written and far from being in the abyss.  Four Stars.

I Love You Forever
On the other side of the coin is a very brief story that is dripping with erotic atomosphere without being too blatantly a scrump scene.  A wife submits to her husband, wishing him to be her Lord and Master, and to totally own her.  Yeah, there's nothing quite like hearing that.  For me it was a trip down Memory Lane seen from the other side.  Very short, but still worth Six Stars!  This story could serve as a prologue for the next and final story in the collection, and upon reflection it could be related to Dark Desires as well.

The Woods
The final story in the collection picks up on the pair from the previous story quite some time later, and the woman in it, Kym, has run off with her old lover and is pursued by her jealous husband, who only has plans to kill whoever she is with.  This is a story, story.  There's not much sex or erotic action, but those things working on a lower level are what drive the story for all involved.  This one has everything to do with that one person who knows how to get into your head and stay there.  The one who makes you question exactly what it is you want enough to make you feel leaving them behind is a bad choice on your part whether it is or not.  It was a well told story that Ms. Moore could have taken into a dozen different directions, in a dozen different genres and made it work, but I think the story she chose to tell was the right way for her to go, on top of being quite effective.  Six Stars!



This is a new one for me, but I give E-Rotica and overall rating of Five & A Half Stars for going well beyond my expectations for any collection or anthology.  Again I certainly can't wait to see what J.K. Moore is going to write next, and knowing she has an Erotic Horror anthology in the works I can't wait to see what her take on the genre is since a couple of  stories in this collection have a definate Horror vibe to them.

You can learn more about J.K. Moore by visiting her blog Kinky Minds Think Alike http://writerjkmoore.wordpress.com/ .



Here is where you can get your copy of E-Rotica by J.K. Moore.  It is currently only available from Amazon, though she is working to release it to more sites very soon and I will post updates once I know it has gone live elsewhere.

Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/E-rotica-ebook/dp/B005XO2PLA

Again, this one comes HIGHLY RECCOMENDED and I think it is worth your while to lurk into.



Master Vyle



Sunday, November 20, 2011

Review: Blain's Mates by Sayde Grace


First off I am going to begin this review by quoting what I believe the wolf on the cover is saying:

"ARRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Now I'm not going to say that Blain's Mates by Sayde Grace is a total dog, however it's not anything to howl about either.  I have done my best not to let my expectations going into the story temper my review, though I do think many readers may start out under the impression that since the story involves werewolves and bisexual men they are going to see werewolves and at least a little guy on guy action.  Well, instead of giving us a hot werewolf scrumpin' scene like the one shown in the film version of The Howling we get a story that has less werewolf in it than The Howling: New Moon Rising (which was 95% scenes of line dancing and beer drinkin', 2% awful werewolf costumes that would not have passed in z-grade 60's horror films and 3% bad acting).  As for the guy on guy action, well it is certainly alluded to but never really materializes.

Blain's Mates is basically the story of Blain Jacobs, second in command and male lover to Shawn Sanders, the Alpha male of the local werewolf clan.  To secure his position as the leader of the clan Shawn must have a (female) mate.  Enter hot and much sought after female member of the clan Raylen Walker, who both are hopelessly in love with (as well as being hopelessly in love with each other).  Magically the participants must all mate together at the same magical moment to seal the three of them as being mated for life, which sounds pretty hot, and it probably would be if it was handled much better.

A majority of this extremely short story is centered on Blain waffling on whether or not he is going to actually join the bond, as well as him thinking about how hot Shawn is (though with a lack of any sexual flashbacks).  The length in the end is the real killer, and the story comes off as neither erotic or very romantic.  Had Ms. Grace perhaps written more it would have made a huge difference, because as I have said before sometimes stories do work and work really well without the elements the readers are expecting in them, but in the case of this story Sayde Grace does not give herself that much else to work with.  Instead the reader is suddenly dropped into a story and Universe without much reference as to what is going on.  It is listed as part of Grace's Moon Creek Series, however thus far Blain's Mates is the only entry and I cannot see that it is enticing enough to get readers to purchase future stories in the series.

In all honesty I have to say that I do think the Ms. Grace has some good ideas and concepts.  However, she needs to really spin this tale out in a longer format.  Her writing style is not awful, but it is not overly thrilling.  I rate Blain's Mates Three Stars, and I hope to see if Sayde Grace does better with stories written in a longer format, because she certainly has imagination.  It just needs to be expanded upon and refined.

Here is where you can find Sayde Grace's Blain's Mates:

All Romance eBooks:  http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-blainsmates-513132-139.html
OmniLit:  http://www.omnilit.com/product-blainsmates-513132-139.html
Smashwords:  http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/39608

Master Vyle

Review: Hi I'm A Social Disease by Anderson Prunty


Were I to judge a book by its cover I would have this to say of Hi I'm A Social Disease by Anderson Prunty, interesting.  If I were to judge it from a catchy and unusual title I would have to say, very interesting.  However, if I skipped the cover and title and judged it by its content I would have to say, Five Stars overall, and that's exactly what I found this story collection rates.

This was another collection that kept coming up on my suggested reads list, and let me tell you that the cover photo by Michael Omar Berrospe, if you have not figured it out for yourself, is a great piece of visual bait.  Add to the fact that it was offered as a 99 Cent read and I was on the hook.  In this collection Prunty gives us a collection of very well told stories that range from the quirky to the classic.

Here's a look at the stories:


Room 19
Inspired by a Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds song this story is the study of the resident of an apartment building in a post-apocalyptic world.  The landlord is a cannibal and when a new neighbor moves into the room a floor above the narrator begins to take a curious interest in her, and her "diaries".  Unusual and with a slight twist at the end it was not my favorite, but Prunty's unique style and tale had me hooked enough to feel that the collection would only get better.  Four Stars.

Market Adjustment
On the day the Great Depression begins the world goes crazy, in some cases literally.  A man on a mission ascends to the upper floors of an office building where a strange creature holds sway over greed and misery in two different universes.  Dripping with gore and oozing a strange atmosphere this story is almost like a meeting between H.P. Lovecraft and Clive Barker at an Occupy Wall Street rally.  The narrative is timely considering the current world economic crisis and is a good example of contrasting the past and present, whether it was Prunty's intention to do so or not.  Oh, yeah!  Six Stars!

The Dust Season
A cheating couple of carnival workers faces a strange retribution at the hands of their fellow carnies that demotes them from being stars of the show to being part of the freak show.  This review may sound like I'm drawing my comparisons from the decline of Universal's monster monopoly of the 30's and 40's, but this story really is Water For Elephants meets Tod Browning's Freaks!  You might see what's coming in this short little story, but it's still pretty effective.  Four Stars.

The Man With A Face Like A Bruise
A man has a vision of a creature that has haunted him that he has not seen in a long time, then catches his lover in bed with another man.  A tense and gory tale of revenge.  I do not want to give too much away as it if perhaps the best story in the collection.  Another Six Stars!

The Photographer
A man with a taste for abusing young women is haunted by one of his victims from a war torn country.  It's a quick read that gave this reader what he wanted in seeing that the titular photographer gets exactly what's coming to him.  A sweet little Five Star story.

The Funeralgoer
A man with the gift of being able to relive the last moments of a person's life gets more than he bargained for once he finds himself the prisoner of the spirits of the dead.  There seems to be no escape until he hits on a unique solution to his unique problem.  Four Stars.

The Night The Moon Made A Sound
It's a ghost story, but it's not your typical ghost story, similar to some of Scott Nicholson's better work.  I'm not really a fan of this type of story because they either work and are effective, or they do not and are not.  This one most certainly does.  Five Stars.



Hi I'm A Social Disease was more than enough to gain my appreciation for Anderson Prunty and earn a spot in this blog's sidebar as a Kindle Featured Creature.  I hope to get the chance to read more from Prunty in the future.

You can find Anderson Prunty's Hi I'm A Social Disease here:

Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Hi-Im-Social-Disease-ebook/dp/B005BZKTUU
Barnes & Noble:  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hi-im-a-social-disease-andersen-prunty/1104361767
Smashwords:  http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/72395
mobiles24.com:  http://www.mobiles24.com/downloads/s/513702-112-hi_im_a_social_disease
Kobo:  http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Hi-Im-Social-Disease-Horror/book-t4GlKgLTj06Hc8HCJIutrg/page1.html

In my opinion Hi I'm A Social Disease and Anderson Prunty are a must on any good lurk for list!


Master Vyle