Sunday, December 25, 2011

Two Poems, Two Genres! Merry Christmas From Master Vyle!

The day is here fiends and fright fans, and to say Merry Christmas here are a pair of poems from the two main genres I write in.  From the horror category "Bloody Snow", one of the poems from Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales.  From the erotica category, what in some circles has becoma a classic, "Noel The Christmas Sub".

Little drops of red on white,
Crimson spheres on the ivory ground,
Christmas colors.

Red little drops shine,
Tiny mirrors smooth and round,
Soaking, spreading.

Dark and red,
Warmth of life,
Growing cold.

White melts for red,
Each drop grows in snow,
Bigger, dying.

Red drops drip from ax,
White takes in red,
Drip drop.

Santa lies in the snow,
Suit and head white and red,
Christmas colors.

"Noel The Christmas Sub"

‘Twas the night before Christmas,
And near the corner of 34th Street and Grouse.

All was quiet,
Except for in one house.

While all good little subs were asleep in bed,
A girl named Noel was awake instead.

She had anticipated this particular night all year,
And she squirmed with delight as the hour grew near.

For you see Noel had waited for tonight for just one cause,
Her dream to be used by Santa Claus.

At midnight finally came the click, click, click,
Which heralded the arrival of jolly St. Nick.

She had been by the fireplace for over an hour,
Not too long after she finished her shower.

He would be down there soon of that she could bet,
Already her pussy began to grow wet.

Within a minute he appeared in the fireplace,
Looking to Noel with a puzzled smile on his face.

She wore a jingle-bell hat and red teddy fringed with white fluff,
It was the closest thing that she had to a muff.

He said, “My dear child, your clothing is bold,
But you had better get dressed before you catch cold.”

“Cold a girl won’t catch girl, one hopes you get the gist”, she replied,
“One wants you to know what she has on her list.”

“You wish to tell me what is on your list?
Be glad I am Santa, or I would get pissed.”

She said, “When it comes to gift giving a girl knows St. Nicholas is the boss,
But she’s really been wishing for a St. Andrew’s Cross.”

Santa placed his hands on his hips and said, “Oh, my,
I suppose if you don’t get one that you might cry.”

And she looked at him with her lips in a pout,
It was time to let the puppies come out.

She reached up and pulled down the top of her teddy,
Both nipples were hard and standing at the ready.

“You must know, my dear, that I have a wife,
And we have a very active sex life.”

She said, “This is a gift from a girl’s soul,
A place to bury your hard North Pole.”

“One will get on her knees just like a dog,
So you can fill her up with your big Yule log.”

“I am an old man, and not your speed”, he said,
“Perhaps someone your age would fill your need.”

“The butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker have all had me this day,
But it is with you one really wants to play.”

Santa removed his hat and dabbed his head,
Acting as if he had never heard such things be said.

“It sounds, my dear, like you’re quite a slut,
I think you need someone to spank your sweet butt.”

Noel smiled. “A girl needs her butt spanked, Sir Santa, that is true,
And she needs it to be done only by you.”

Very soon Santa’s red suit was shed,
Laying in a heap at the foot of her bed.

Noel smiled when she saw his cock,
Nice and long and hard as a rock.

Taking him in her mouth she sucked with need,
Careful not to make him spill his hot seed.

He turned her over and used his hand to redden her butt,
He called her, his good girl, doggie slut.

Santa tied her wrist with a bright red bow,
And he pumped her from behind yelling, “Ho, ho, ho!”

“Yes, Sir”, she cried, “please go faster!,
A girl is lucky to have Santa for a master!”

They came together and it felt like a dream,
As he filled her with his hot and sticky cream.

Once he was done she was off to sleep,
Master Santa had fucked her so hard and so deep.

She did not awake until Christmas Day,
Already hoping for the year to pass so they could once again play.

Under the tree she found a gift that gave her joy,
It was a nice, fat, remote controlled, nine speed sex toy.

And against the wall was a gift too big to fit under the tree,
Noel knew that a St. Andrew’s Cross was the only thing it could be.


Master Vyle

Saturday, December 24, 2011

On The Twelfth Day Of Creepfest... A Final Round Of Contests

Well, fiends and fright fans it's the twelfth and final day of Creepfest.  Today I will be offering up my final set of trivia questions, but I will keep the contest open until Tuesday, December 27, 2011, so that everyone out there enjoying the Horrordays has a chance to participate.  Just feel free to go ahead and "shout out" your answers in the comments section.  I will be awarding a prize to the first five correct answers on each question, and you're eligible to win multiple prizes, or even if you should find that the answer to the question is you.

The first prize up for grabs in my Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales Trivia Contest is a copy of my personal Halloween Night At The Drive-In audio show.  (I worked out the delivery problems and decided to offer this prize of nearly 6 1/2 hours of music, classic radio spots and sound effects as a prize again.)

Here's the question:

Uncle Jason in the short story It Came From Beyond The Midnight Clear is named for one of my oldest independent writer friends (and by oldest I mean we ran across each other on Twitter about a year ago by accident while talking about pro-wrestling).  What is the writer's name?

A.  Jason Patrick
B.  Jason David Frank
C.  Jason Darrick

Prize number two is a copy of my as yet unpublished horror short story Mom's Liver And Onions, which will be available as part of a four story collection Four Freaks early next year.

Here's the question:

In the short story Frog Nog the Sanderson sisters mention Bring Your Own Weapons Night, which was a short lived gimmick by one of the Big Three wrestling promotions of the late 1990's.  What was the name of the wrestling promotion that sponsored this?

D. The World Wrestling Federation (WWF/WWE)
E.  Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW)
F.  World Championship Wrestling (WCW)

Prize number three is an advanced copy of my short story prequel to my forthcoming Shadows Of The Night horror novel series, Legend Of The Ghost's Woods.  I'm currently still editing, but it should be ready for delivery by the end of next month.

Here's the question:

The poem 'Puppet With A Handgun' was inspired by the third and fourth episodes of a Japanese tokusatsu series from the mid-1990's.  What is the name of the series?

G.  Power Rangers: Mystic Force
H.  Gosei Sentai Dairanger
I.   Big Bad Beetleborgs

I think I've made the answers pretty obvious, even to anyone who has not read any of the stories in the collection.  Good luck to all of you, and Happy Horrordays!

Master Vyle

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Review: Chilly Eye Callie and Walk The Dream by Rebecca Treadway

Today I'm going to kill a couple of birds with one stone.  No, not the ravens and crows that Rebecca Treadway takes pictures of to use on book covers and other bits of artwork, but rather a pair of her works that I've had for a while.  The first sat in my Kindle collecting dust for a while as I read other things, while the other I read the day I purchased it, and it has been languishing in my review backlog.

First up is the short story, Chilly Eye Callie.  Calpurnia Bowens has her father's eyes, although she didn't get them through an act of genetics.  She's a woman with several gifts, or curses, depending on your point-of-view.  While riding the train home Chilly Eye Callie, as the locals call her, senses something is amiss with her two fellow passengers.  Yes, somebody is doing somebody wrong and it's a situation that's possibly going to change someone's life forever.  Callie uses her gift to take care of the problem in her own way, and just a little bit extra as well.

I loved getting a look at the more gritty side of good California living that Rebecca gives us with this story.  Her characterization of Callie is really good, and that was a treat, since a majority of her other works I have read so far have been poetry, so it was great to see how she handled making a believable character.  If anything the length of the story does work against it slightly.  There a great deal of mystery surrounding the title character, and many of these mysteries remain unresolved as the story comes to a close.  I suppose it is a good thing that there's a follow-up novella coming soon!  The story not only held my interest from start to finish, but also left me wanting more (and it's good to know more is coming).  Four and A Half Stars!

The second Rebecca Treadway work up for review is Walk The Dream, a poetry collection.  Now if you've read some of Rebecca's other poems and poetry collections, but you haven't read this one, then you need to go out and buy it.  This collection is full of poems that show the "kinder and gentler" side of Rebecca Treadway.  I can think of no better example of someone showing their versatility than this collection.  Again I usually do not review individual poems, but I have to say that "Medicine Man", "Arcane Words", "Chambers" and "Elsewhere" are my four favorites from this collection, and each one kind of speaks to a different part of me from the nostalgic to the romantic.  (Yes, I did say romantic in regard to something Rebecca Treadway has written).

Is there anything else I really need to say about this collection to get you to check it out other than Five Stars all the way?

You can get you copy of Chilly Eye Callie here:


You can get your copy of Walk The Dream here:


These two are well worth lurking in to.

Master Vyle

On The Ninth Day Of Creepfest... Another Contest

Greetings fiends and fright fans.  Yesterday there were no correct entries for my Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales Trivia Contest, as there were no entries submitted.  So today there will be 14 opportunities to win, as well as change in prizes, in part due to the fact that I'm having technical difficulties in regard to the delivery of the previously offered prize.

So up for grabs today, a copy of a never before published short story, Mom's Liver And Onions, which I am planning to release as part of a four story collection titled Four Freaks by the spring of 2012.  This little story is the tale of three siblings coming to terms with death, among other things.  It also has the distinction of having been rejected by One Buck Horror, my second ever rejection for a submission for pay.  So now I have been rejected by both The Ladies Home Journal and One Buck Horror, and I can guarantee you that the list of people who can make that claim is very small, Hhehehehehehehe.

But anyway, here is today's question.

In two stories in the Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales collection, as well as in the novel Heather's Journey: The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE, there is mention of a creature known as the Hollow Creek Monster which plays a significant role in the first novel of my upcoming Shadows Of The Night series.  Again I'll give multiple choice in regard to the question.

In which story does it describe what kind of creature the Hollow Creek Monster is supposed to be?

A.  Frog Nog
B.  It Came From Beyond The Midnight Clear
C.  Heather's Journey: The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE

Again today I also give a bonus question, and today it's a hard one because it's a one line reference in a 700+ page novel.  The prize up for grabs if you get this one is an advanced copy of the short story prologue to Shadows Of The Night, which will be published next month, The Legend Of The Ghost's Woods.

In Heather's Journey: The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE Heather's best friend, Betty, refers to the Hollow Creek Monster by another name.  What is the Hollow Creek Monster's alternate nickname?

Good luck, and I will be lurking for your responses via e-mail house_of_master_vyle @

Master Vyle

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

On The Eighth Day Of Creepfest... Contest Number Two

Well, fiends and fright fans.  We only had one winner in my Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales Trivia Contest yesterday.  The winner was Patti Larsen, who by the way is the author of a book about a cat that is on my Horrorday wish list!  However, after yesterday all future answers need to be submitted to this address house_of_master_vyle @   (I know it left a hotlink to the address on yesterday's contest, and in my experience those often do not work.) 

So, today the contest will be open to the first nine correct answers, again for a copy of my six and a half hours worth of Halloween music, audio trailers, radio spots and effects, (which includes among other things the infamous "Silver Shamrock Song" from Halloween III: The Season Of The Witch), Halloween Night At The Drive-In.

Today's question involves the title story Frog Nog, and it is multiple choice.

Those of you who know me know that a majority of my stories are written in a consistent Universe, where places and characters will occasionally cross paths.  In Frog Nog Johnny Ratcliff states that Barry Prince moved away to Citrus Grove the year after he and his friends tormented him with the dead frog.  Which character from my novel Heather's Journey: The Sound Of her MASTER'S VOICE also lives in Citrus Grove?

A.  Betty Wallace-Whitman
B.  Heather Ford
C.  Shawn Spencer
D.  Deacon Winters

Now, I don't feel it is necessary to have read the novel to get the correct answer, as I think it's pretty easy to guess.  I will give you a hint though, the novel is set in the city of Citrus Grove, Florida.

Additionally here's a bonus question.  If you get the first question wrong but can answer this one right you will still win my audio show.  If you get both questions right then you will win an additional prize!

So, here goes.

Which one of the characters above lives in the exclusive Ghost Wood Acres subdivision that lies a few miles north of Racine, the little Florida town that Frog Nog is set in?

I'll be lurking for your answers.  And remember, today's contest for Halloween Night At The Drive-In is open to the first nine Creepers to e-mail me the correct answer.

Master Vyle

Monday, December 19, 2011

On The Seventh Day... Master Vyle Started His Creepfest Contest

Well fiends and fright fans, just because it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas does not mean that it's too late, or too soon, to think about the ghost wonderful time of the year, and by that I mean, yep, you guessed it, Halloween.  Now, those of you who know me know I love all kinds of horror movies, good and bad, from all over the world.  I also occasionally dabble in mixing music and sound effects.  A few years ago I made an audio show to play while I handed out Halloween candy themed around a Halloween night at the old drive-in.

Now as part of my little trivia contest for 12 Days Of Creepfest I am going to give away copies of that audio show in an mp3 format.  The rules are pretty simple.  For the next three days (Monday, December 19 to Wednesday, December 21, 2011) I will be asking a question related to Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales, which if you have not gotten a copy yet is available from OmniLit.Com for free for the duration of Creepfest.  The first five contestants to e-mail me back the correct answer will win a copy of my Halloween night at the drive-in audio show.

(From the 22nd until the 24th I will be having another exclusive prize.)

If you love horror and miss those nights of drive-in marathons (even if you never experienced them) you're gonna love this unique experience.  Nearly six and a half hours of continuous music and mayhem to delight your hearing and spark your imagination.  The show is filled with classic audio trailers and radio spots, theater announcements, sound bites, music, sound effects and more.  Plus its fairly family friendly, so there's much fun for all ages.

To enter e-mail your answer to  I will announce the winners the following day.  This contest is open to everyone, even if you should find that the question being asked pertains to you.  So good luck, and have fun!

Today's question involves the second short story in the collection, Walking In A Winter Wasteland:

In Walking In A Winter Wasteland there are place names/locations that get their names from a pair of fellow authors (and yes, both are on the tour).  Who are the authors that I am paying homage to in the story?

Remember the first five e-mails I receive with the correct answers will win, and I will announce the winners tomorrow, as well as asking another question.

Again, good luck and have fun!

Master Vyle

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Review: A Very Cougar Christmas by Lex Valentine

Here is my review of the other story I initially downloaded in September and was holding for the holiday season so that a review for it would be timely.  When I finally opened it up and started reading I was pleasantly surprised, and unusually optimistic that I had come across that one in a million story in the "erotic romance" genre that was above and beyond the average drivel.  As I became engrossed in the story I was on that edge, feeling I was looking at a work that was a Five Star all the way.  I was even willing to overlook the misuse of terminology as Nikki, the female lead in the story, is not a woman out there on the prowl for a younger man.

Then, just as I was expecting A Very Cougar Christmas to deliver, it turned right into another chunk of lameness from the erotic romance grist mill.  I was so disappointed when this story turned away from a great example of writing craftsmanship into another below average exercise in the idiotic.  It was like Jack Frost suddenly ran by and snatched Frosty's hat off to make him turn back into a plain old snowman.

A Very Cougar Christmas is the story of Nikki, a successful business woman who is alone and very lonely on Christmas, which also happens to be her birthday.  Enter Vincent, her younger and concerned neighbor.  When the delivery man leaves a package with him because she refuses to answer the door Vincent attempts to deliver it himself and can hear her crying on the other side of her door.  Once he realizes and tells her that he is locked out of his own apartment she finally relents and lets him in.  Then after some talking and further  breaking down Nikki seeks comfort from the sexy boy next door.

Yeah, and believe it or not it was all good up until that point.  Then the shy guy that locked himself out of his own apartment who was hardly dressed and only wearing flip flops for shoes during a snow storm is able to produce a pocket full of rubbers.  And yes that image from Snoop Dogg's 'Gin And Juice' video was going through my mind for the rest of the length of the story.  Following "round one" Vincent urges Nikki to open her package, which turns out to be a sex toy, which he confesses that he sent her.  I though to myself, Oh, how timely, since just that morning I had read a story in the Orlando Sentinel about a man sending a sex toy to a woman.  Yeah, Lex, we call that stalking and inappropriate down here in Florida, and it gets people jail time.  But, what am I thinking?  It is erotic romance, so instead of totally freaking out or fearing for her life our erstwhile heroine is going to show her little stud muffin how to work it as a prelude to round two.

From bad to worse, guess what?  Looks like mercy Christmas scrumpin' is a great way to start a long term relationship.


Eh, boy.  I give it Two Stars only because this short little story actually starts out strong.  Lex Valentine actually has talent, and it really shows in the first quarter of the story.  In a way it almost looked like a chain story that was begun by someone who was totally brilliant before they passed it on for it to be finished out by a secession of idiots.

I did get a few laughs from a few lines in the story.

"I won't fuck you, you deserve better than that.  But I'd be more than happy to make love to you"

Yes, it was funny to read this line from Vincent correcting Nikki when she ask him if he would fuck her.  However, I was kind of that guy once, so I didn't really think it was all that bad.  It was corny, but it was realistically corny and I found it endearing.  (It was just after this that the story went from a Five to a Two).

After that, yeah, Vincent suddenly becomes less than sweetly romantical, especially when he says,

"Right now, I just want to get between your thighs.  Now, shall I take you upstairs, or shall I light a big fire in the fireplace and proceed to give you rug burn on your ass?"

Ooop!  The creepy stalker Vincent really is was showing through there kids.

Valentine goes on to give the reader this visual that no one should read with a full bladder:

"His fist twisted on his stiff cock, the movement smooth and practiced."

Yes, I get it.  Vincent jacks off, A-LOT!  Because that's what creepy stalker guys do.

Yeah, sorry again.  I did forget he can't be the stalker he so obviously is because it's an erotic romance story.  Here, let's take a look at a quality ER line:

"She sucked on him as if she was a little kid with a candy cane."

Merry Christmas, folks!  Good job, Ms. Valentine.  That was some USDA Grade A Erotic Romance cheese.

"Well, then, my sexy cougar, you're not too old to get pregnant."

Oh, Vincent, you romantical young stud you!  No wonder I always had a problem with women when I was younger.  I obviously was not saying the right things to them.

Now, again, this is another free read that offers a look at some of Ms. Valentine's other works, offering several chapters from books in her Tales Of The Darkworld Series.  In the past, a great deal of the time, I have not really mentioned samples provided with freebies, however I am going to take more of a look at them, especially when the previews exceed the length of the title story.  The series, as I understand it now from having read the assortment of chapters from various books in it, appears to revolve around vampires, and were-things, and elves, and stuff.  Yeah...

The story in part revolves around a powerful vampire family and a powerful group of were-dragons who are all some way involved in the funeral business.  Uh-hu, that's right.  There's much talk through the chapters about the were-dragons feeling their "inner dragon", which as far as I can tell is Ms. Valentine's code for them feeling horny.  As with Blaine's Mates there are no transformations, at least not in the samples, so I have no idea what it means for anyone to be a dragon in any of these stories.

The only line from any of the samples I even found remotely interesting was this one from the first book, Tales Of The Darkworld Book 1: Shifting Winds:

"Granville Cemetery was very old and catered to the elite in the vampire world.  They offered cremation, but vampires tended not to go that route."

So, the practically immortal worry about having a decent burial plot?  Coffins.  Yeah, I could understand a coffin, but a story where a cemetery caters to the upper crust of vampire society to take care of all their burial needs?  I think it's pretty obvious that Ms. Valentine has never read The Vampire Encyclopedia.

As with so many others before them the samples provided with A Very Cougar Christmas do nothing to sell me on actually buying them.  Tales Of The Darkworld is another example of a fairly new genre where the author immediately attempts to immerse the reader in a world populated with supernatural creatures with little exposition while throwing everything including the kitchen sink at them in an attempt to keep the reader's interest.  Having not read the books I can only speculate, but from other examples from other authors in this conglomeration genre are trying to give you an epic tale within 200 to 300 pages while either not possessing the talent to do it in such a small format or being far too lazy to take the time and actually write an epic length story.

As for the title story, A Very Cougar Christmas, according to the ratings it has it would appear I am in the minority in my opinion, because somehow it has a five star rating on ARe, and that's with 81 ratings on it as opposed to three or four.  If you want to give it a try it is offered as a free read:

All Romance eBooks:

Below is a little rant on this conglomeration sub-genre, which I call the Conglomeration of Assorted Random Prose genre.  (Or is it Allied, or Affiliated, or Associated?  I can't make up my mind).  It should be good for a laugh for those who like to see me look like a stumbling and flubbing fool.

Master Vyle

Beneath The Bright Zombie Moon Posted To YouTube

Okay, fiends and fright fans, here's another video of me doing a reading.  This time it is the poem "Beneath The Bright Zombie Moon" which is one of the titular ten poems from my erotic horror collection A Letter To Doctor Freudstein - Demoni - And Ten Poems.  If you're not already familiar with this one I'll warn you in advance it's more of a gothic romance poem about voodoo zombies as opposed to gut munching Romero zombies.

Please enjoy!

Master Vyle

Puppet With A Handgun Posted To YouTube

Here's a video of me doing a reading (oh, the horror) of my poem "Puppet With A Handgun", which is part of my horror short story and poetry collection Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales.  Remember the collection is free from OmniLit for the duration of the 12 Days Of Creepfest Blog Tour and will go on sale and live on other sites after Christmas.

Plus tomorrow I will put up the details and begin my first Creepfest give-away.  Be sure to lurk out for it!

Master Vyle

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Review: Snowmen by James Melzer

This story and the next story up for review are a pair I got back in September, one horror and the other erotic, pretty much with the plan to keep them in reserve until December to have a little something to go along with the horrorday season.  With this story I feel that I found one that would fit in quite well with that plan, however, to paraphrase that old standard, "Never judge an eBook by its cover."

It isn't that Snowmen is an awful story, but it's not all that spectacular either.  It is a very brief tale of an elderly widower who builds a display made up of snowmen every winter in his front yard that becomes a local tradition with people coming from miles around to visit.  Edgar comes off as a kindly and lonely figure who takes pleasure in his project and the company it brings him, yet he has nightmares about his snowmen coming to life and coming after him, seemingly for no apparent reason and not really fitting into the tale of a kindly old man.

The story suffers the most due to its short length, and its failure to truly develop Edgar's character overall, or providing a sense of menace in regards to the malevolent snowmen in his dreams.  The surprise twist at the end really does nothing to enhance the story, and it took a second read and a week of thinking it over before I got the irony that was involved in the ending.  Overall it's a Three Star short story, and judging from the reviews and ratings on Melzer's other works compared to the ones on this one it's apparent that, at least other readers who have seen more from him, are of the opinion that he is capable of much better than this one.

Snowmen is in freebie territory and attached to it is a three chapter preview of Melzer's novella Hull's Landing, which far exceeds the length of the title story.  Hull's Landing, from what I have gathered from the preview, is a story about a group of men, some secret cult or order, that kidnaps a young woman, gang rapes her over the weekends, then ultimately kills her just before finding a replacement as part of a ritual that spans generations.  Just the sample and what was in it seemed to stretch the logic and credibility of such events too far, so it again ends up as one of those samples that does nothing to entice me to go out and put money down for, "The rest of the story," as the late, great, Paul Harvey used to say.

You can find you copy of Snowmen here.  Again it's not a totally awful little read, and probably is one of those stories that is no doubt more loved by the younger crowd than me:


I'll be lurking for you later.  And also as Paul Harvey used to sign off, "Good day!"

Master Vyle

Epic Failure! The 12 Days Of Creepfest Promo "Outtakes Reels" Are Here!

Well, you can't be cool, smooth and swift all of the time.  As promised here are the "outtakes reels" from the 12 Days Of Creepfest promo I made and posted on YouTube, exclusively here on House Of Master Vyle.  What follows are about nine minutes of uncensored anger, dead air, fart sniffin' face, me asking Socks not to puke while Daddy cuts his promo, and the frustration that helped fuel the insanity that was the second half of the official promo.

Just a final warning.  I know some of you said that your kids laughed at the promo, and these outtakes are probably not anything you want you kids to watch.  LOL.

Please enjoy....  my suffering.

Part One:

Part Two:

Yeah!  It's why I am a writer and not a public speaker.  Not sure I can bear to lurk at myself in the mirror anymore.

Master Vyle

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Give Me Turkey Necks! Posted To YouTube

They say, whoever they are, that it's good to try new things.  So I've decided to try a new medium of expression.  Now it's true I'm not the most tech or video savvy person.  However, I've had plenty of feedback on my 12 Days Of Creepfest promo to let me know that people think I'm funny on camera.  Yeah, the jury is out on if that's a good or bad thing, but what the hell.  Why not?  I get so many ideas that pop in my head that I try to find a place in a story for, and sometimes they're so off that there really is no place.

So, I decided to give making videos a try.  Of course they will probably be short, but sometimes short and sweet is pretty good.  Here's the first one, Give Me Turkey Necks!  Just an itty, bitty little rant born of boredom and random thoughts with nowhere else to go.  If nothing else I hope it make you laugh.

Just remember everything you're about to lurk at is nothing but silly!

Master Vyle

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales, A Free Read For 12 Days Of Creepfest

Due to a billion technical difficulties and headaches it's been held up for a little while, but finally here it is, my official announcement of the release of my new holiday horror short story and poetry collection Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales.  Now, for the duration of the 12 Days Of Creepfest Blog Tour this title, that is cover to cover, never been published before stories, will be available from OmniLit.Com.  That's right, from today, December 13th, until December 24th, 2011, this collection will be free.  OmniLit gives you the option to download the collection in a variety of formats, including MOBI, ePub, PDF, HTML and more.

Here's a little "jacket" information on the collection:

A young man’s past comes back to haunt him. A man walks the desolate streets of a slum and remembers the life he once had. A young boy gets the present he wished for from an unexpected source. Death cannot take a holiday. These are a few of the things which await in this collection of four dark tales, each set on Christmas Eve. From the humorous to the horrifying, this collection has them all.

A Little Distraction: Christmas Eve is a busy day, but not just for Santa. A humorous tale about an unexpected gift, from an unexpected source.

Walking In A Winter Wasteland: Paul Felix used to have money, but now he is a vagrant in a world where Christmas is outlawed. Walking to a soup kitchen on the night that was once Christmas Eve he contemplates his downfall, and the loss of more precious things in his life than money.

Frog Nog: A young man hoping to score with a girl from his class gets more than he bargained for when he joins her church group for Christmas caroling on Christmas Eve. When they attempt to sing for a pair of sisters rumored to be witches the terror begins!

It Came From Beyond The Midnight Clear: On Christmas Eve 1983 a boy named Charlie sneaks out of his house to see the town Christmas tree, anchored in a nearby lake. His Uncle Jason has told him that there is something in the night on Christmas other than Santa, and that if he is lucky he just might see “It”.

This little collection also includes three palate cleansing poems between each story: Bloody Snow, Little Things In Boxes and Puppet With A Handgun.

Warning: Some stories in this collection contain graphic violence.

Starting next week I will be offering a couple of exclusive stories to those of you who have had a chance to read the collection.  Don't miss your chance to snag this freebie, because after the holidays it will be on sale once it is distributed to the other eReader sites.

Get your free copy of Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales from OmniLit.Com:

Master Vyle

12 Days Of Creepfest Is Rolling

Today is the day fiends and fright fans, the start of the 12 Days Of Creepfest Blog Tour.  Over the next couple of weeks look for special interviews, give-aways and surprises.  For the duration of the tour I will be giving away my new horror short story and poetry collection, Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales.  I will have more details on that and my plans for a special give-away starting in week two soon.

In the meantime be sure to check out the tour at and see what some of the hottest independent authors in horror and dark fantasy have in store for you.

Plus, as a bonus treat, a little something for you to lurk at, my 12 Days Of Creepfest Blog Tour promotional video.

I will be posting the details on Frog Nog And Other Horrorday Tales shortly.  It's frightful fun for all ages, my first collection that lacks va-jay-jays and wangs.  Hhehehehehehehehe!

Master Vyle

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Review: E-Rortica by J.K. Moore

Despite having shelves and boxes full of books, as well as a Kindle and folder on my PC nearly full of stories to read I am always on the look out for something new (and, often being that I am pretty literally a starving artist most of time, cheap as well) to add to my library.  So when one day on das FaceBooken there was another writer offering up a free copy of her latest work for review in an erotic writers group I jumped at the chance.  I had sort of "seen" her post in this particular group before, though I had not really read them or taken the time to get to know her.  Within a few days of taking her up on her offer she sent me a message curious to know if I had started reading, what was an erotic story collection, and I replied that I had not as life was going on and that I had quite a backlog of stories to read and review.  She responded back to let me know she would appreciate a review and a rating once I had the chance, and she let me know that I was really going to like her collection, and that if I had purchased it on my own I would have really been glad that I did.

Well, you know, of course, my first thought was, OH, BOY, (and rolling my eyes as I did so).  I felt pretty certain that here was another writer who was grossly overestimating their talent.  I should point out that at this time I had just made it to the midpoint of Danvers Asylum and received a response back from Gina Kincade regarding the problems I was finding with that highly endorsed story.  So once I was finished with that travesty I went straight into E-Rotica, almost sure it was going to be abysmal.  As I read the first story I found myself feeling I was right.  The story itself was not terrible, but it just didn't seem to make much sense, although the truth about what I was reading, what the story was, and was about, became more clear and defined at the very end.  Then I slept on that first story, really thinking it over and letting it sink in.  It was not that the story was insensible that was the problem as I read it, the problem was that it was deep, I had not went into the story thinking it would be deep, so the problem, as both a reader and a reviewer, was actually me.

The realization sank in the more I read.  And the more I considered what I was reading the more I knew that these were not stories you could simply read and "get it" (at least not all of them).  This is erotica for the thinking person.  These are the kind of stories I love!  I did not like every single story, but every single one was well written and well beyond sappy erotic romance and mindless porn scenes.  I would go as far as to say that Ms. Moore has the ability to get into the reader's head and make them reconsider their first impression of a story after they have though about it a little while after they finish it.  If anything I went in underestimating Ms. Moore's ability, and having sent a couple of messages to her since I initially finished reading the collection I believe that she underestimated herself as well, which is a lot to say about someone who has a great deal of confidence in their work to begin with.

What I found in E-Rotica is a great collection that is an excellent addition to my erotic reading library.  In fact I am already ready to take a look at her next collection, as well as getting my hands on her previously released works.  Ms. Moore delivers unique stories that are sometimes hard to pigeon hole or stick into one category, the kind of stories I know from past experience would be a nightmare trying to place on a story site to attract the maximum intended audience

Here's a look at the stories:

Decent Proposal
This first story is the one that had me coming and going.  It's not my favorite story in the collection, but by that same token it's not my least favorite story either.  I really, really kind of hated it until I reached the end.  After a couple of days of thinking it over I began to actually develop a grudging respect for it.  A man has the hots for his neighbor and she claims she has the hots for him as well, but things never seem to happen between the two of them whenever they get together.  A very unique take on the cuckold tale where the participants are not even in a relationship.  I rate it Four Stars due to the fact that the beginning is somewhat muddled.  I think the collection as a whole who have been better served if this was the third or fourth story instead of the lead in.  Still, once you understand there's more to this story than is on the surface it does open your eyes and mind to the fact that you need to be watchful throughout the rest of the collection.

The Pursuit Of Pleasure
The narrator of this story is indeed in the pursuit of pleasure, forever chasing after his neighbor, Ella, an erotic dancer and club performer.  She never really seems to notice him, so he lives a fantasy life in his head, spying on her as she has encounters with other men in the house across the way.  It is the study of a man who begins to realize that perhaps its the ideal of his perfect woman and being the voyeur on the outside means more to him than ever actually being in her life.  Five Stars.

Dark Desires
On a bench by the woods a woman submits to her lover's desires.  This is a true mind fuck story where most of the action occurs as the woman's internal dialogue as opposed to the physical, although it is there.  This one is short and sweet, but still manages to be thought provoking and though evoking.  Five Stars.

Historie d'E
This long story takes up a good majority of the length of the collection, which is saying volumes because the collection itself is pretty big.  I would have to say the Historie d'E is to E-Rotica what The Mist is to Stephen King's Skeleton Crew.  The story really didn't suit my tastes, however that does not keep it from being a good story, and perhaps its only fault was my impression that the individual segments within the story were uneven.  There was a great deal of exposition in the beginning with long scenes, where near the end some were quite short.  Then again, on sleeping on it the style of the story makes more sense considering this is the story of a relationship that becomes a long distance relationship, and if you've ever been there you know that a couple starts off with all the time in the world to spend together before it begins to grow shorter and shorter.  The sex is understated, but as I've already said this is not your standard "erotic romance" or wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am type of stories.  I was initially bored to tears with this story and began to wonder when it was ever going to end.  However, as with Decent Proposal, as I closed in on the end and then slept on the story I really opened myself up to what it was all about.  Five Stars.  This story features a long cameo by Ella from The Pursuit Of Pleasure, although she does not directly interact with the principal characters.

The Best Birthday Present A Girl Could Have
A woman puts on a show for her lover on her birthday with visions of getting a collar in her head as opposed to "simple" jewelry.  The lovers each tease each other as a way of Ms. Moore teasing the reader as well.  Another great little Five Star story.

When You Want Me More
A teasing game turns hot and steamy.  It's short but as you read it it actually feels like a much longer story.  A fair amount of teasing turns into one of the more graphic sex scenes in the collection.  Guy wasn't the only one rising to full mast on this one, and that's a rarity for me when reading other people's erotica.  Five Stars and a Stiffy!

Confessions Of A Stripper
Ella puts in her third appearance in the collection, this time as the story teller, giving a first person account of her own double life.  A great tale of reflection as Ella finds she has to admit that sometimes the different aspects of her two lives overlap and complete a more perfect picture of who she is.  Not as much erotic as expressing feelings of eroticism, but it works quite well.  Five Stars.

The Love And Sex Addicts Anonymous Group
This story was my personal favorite, as Ms. Moore shows a bit of her funny side.  A woman visits the titular support group with thoughts of perhaps seducing one of the other men or women in the group, but struggles with her conscience for even thinking about doing so.  Still it doesn't keep her from showing a little skin and teasing (not in the way you're thinking).  In some ways it does not quite fit in with the rest of the collection, and in other ways it's perfect and could have worked as either the lead in or the closing story.  Six Stars!  Oh, yeah!

Worship Me
A woman visits a fetish club and asserts her dominance over a respectful wallflower.  I usually never get invested in other people's BDSM stories, mainly due to the fact that the lifestyle is a personal and unique thing to every individual involved.  I read stories and a majority of the time I like them or I don't like them, only once in a great while does someone write one I love because it mirrors things in my own experience or it follows closely with my own personal philosophy about the lifestyle.  This is one of those stories I personally loved, meeting my Goldilocks Principal of being "Just right".  Another Six Star story in my book, and when combined with the preceding and seceding stories it is one of the reasons I do something I rarely ever do, and that's give it a high recommendation.

Toying With The Toy
Another BDSM story where a harsh Mistress teaches a novice sub a lesson in obedience and denial.  This one is hot in all the right places, and probably counts as the first story I have ever read that comes off as steamy and raunchy without a great deal of action focused on graphic sex acts, which I personally consider a feat.  Six Stars and a slight Stiffy!

Making Love Slowly
A young woman and her horror artist lover spend their time in deep conversation followed by hot, sweaty, slow lovemaking.  The beginning is paced like a the opening of a horror story, which was my first indication that Ms. Moore writes horror themed stories as well.  That different atmosphere is there, but there's no monsters other than the ones in the drawings, so the couple decides to make love and not monsters.  Five Stars.

Sexual Bliss
A woman stays after hours for some special, one-on-one, lessons from her yoga instructor.  For the most part I know it sounds like your average little trip in the erotic romance cheese cave, however in the hands of Ms. Moore the story is real, interesting, alive and entertaining.  Five Stars.

My Dirty Landlady
When a man has trouble with the boiler in his new flat it's the landlady to the rescue.  They're interrupted as she attempts to fix a little more than his boiler, so she promises to give him a call some other time.  When she finally gives him that call her tennant finds himself getting more than he bargined for.  This one is steamy and comedic as well, showing the lighter side of BDSM (or at least telling a tale people in the lifestyle will probably think is humorous).  Six Stars!

Fun At The Hotel
A quickie little scene between a couple visiting Las Vegas.  I found this one a little weak, and it would have probably been a better story for closer to the beginning of the collection as opposed to the end.  I did not feel the atmosphere as I did with other stories in the collection, despite the fact that the details were there.  It's still well written and far from being in the abyss.  Four Stars.

I Love You Forever
On the other side of the coin is a very brief story that is dripping with erotic atomosphere without being too blatantly a scrump scene.  A wife submits to her husband, wishing him to be her Lord and Master, and to totally own her.  Yeah, there's nothing quite like hearing that.  For me it was a trip down Memory Lane seen from the other side.  Very short, but still worth Six Stars!  This story could serve as a prologue for the next and final story in the collection, and upon reflection it could be related to Dark Desires as well.

The Woods
The final story in the collection picks up on the pair from the previous story quite some time later, and the woman in it, Kym, has run off with her old lover and is pursued by her jealous husband, who only has plans to kill whoever she is with.  This is a story, story.  There's not much sex or erotic action, but those things working on a lower level are what drive the story for all involved.  This one has everything to do with that one person who knows how to get into your head and stay there.  The one who makes you question exactly what it is you want enough to make you feel leaving them behind is a bad choice on your part whether it is or not.  It was a well told story that Ms. Moore could have taken into a dozen different directions, in a dozen different genres and made it work, but I think the story she chose to tell was the right way for her to go, on top of being quite effective.  Six Stars!

This is a new one for me, but I give E-Rotica and overall rating of Five & A Half Stars for going well beyond my expectations for any collection or anthology.  Again I certainly can't wait to see what J.K. Moore is going to write next, and knowing she has an Erotic Horror anthology in the works I can't wait to see what her take on the genre is since a couple of  stories in this collection have a definate Horror vibe to them.

You can learn more about J.K. Moore by visiting her blog Kinky Minds Think Alike .

Here is where you can get your copy of E-Rotica by J.K. Moore.  It is currently only available from Amazon, though she is working to release it to more sites very soon and I will post updates once I know it has gone live elsewhere.


Again, this one comes HIGHLY RECCOMENDED and I think it is worth your while to lurk into.

Master Vyle